Download ArticleDownload ArticleThis article was co-authored by Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFP and by How.com.vn staff writer, Dan Hickey. Rebecca Tenzer is the owner and head clinician at Astute Counseling Services, a private counseling practice in Chicago, Illinois. With over 18 years of clinical and educational experience in the field of mental health, Rebecca specializes in the treatment of depression, anxiety, panic, trauma, grief, interpersonal relationships using a combination of Cognitive Behavioral therapy, Psychodynamic therapy, and other evidence-based practices. Rebecca holds a Bachelor of Arts (BA) in Sociology and Anthropology from DePauw University, a Master in Teaching (MAT) from Dominican University, and a Master of Social Work (MSW) from the University of Chicago. Rebecca has served as a member of the AmeriCorps and is also a Professor of Psychology at the collegiate level. Rebecca is trained as a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist (CBT), a Certified Clinical Trauma Professional (CCTP), a Certified Grief Counseling Specialist (CGCS), a Clinical Anxiety Treatment Professional (CCATP), and a Certified Compassion Fatigue Professional (CCFP). Rebecca is also a member of the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Society of America and The National Association of Social Workers.
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We hope we never have to, but eventually, we all have to be there for someone after their loved one passes away. What can you even say in such a sad situation? There’s no perfect or “right” thing to say, but you can comfort a person in grief by expressing your sympathy, checking in on them, and sharing memories while they process their loss. We’ve put together a helpful list of things to say when someone passes away so you can support the people you care about while they grieve. Keep reading if you’re ready to reach out.
Steps
Sample Texts and Letter for When Someone Passes Away
Expert Q&A
Video
Tips
- If you're absolutely not sure what to say or know the person well/are comfortable around the person and vice versa, ask if you can hug the person. Just letting the person have your physical presence will mean so much to them, even if neither of you are able to say anything at the moment.Thanks
- Be genuine when you speak to the person. The grieving person can pick up on this and know that you are a safe, caring person they can come to if need be.Thanks
Warnings
- Don't turn the attention to yourself. Doing so can cause the person to be confused and even upset, and that certainly does not help the person in their grief.Thanks
- Avoid giving advice unless asked for it. The easy thing is to give advice and try to fix the person's grief, but this can only make the situation worse for the grieving person than it already is.Thanks
Expert Interview
Thanks for reading our article! If you’d like to learn more about condolences, check out our in-depth interview with Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFP.
References
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/grief/helping-someone-who-is-grieving.htm
- ↑ https://rightasrain.uwmedicine.org/life/relationships/how-to-support-someone-grieving
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/grief/helping-someone-who-is-grieving.htm
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/grief/helping-someone-who-is-grieving.htm
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/supersurvivors/201906/whats-the-right-thing-say-when-someone-is-grieving
- ↑ https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/ways-to-support-someone-who-is-grieving
- ↑ https://www.psychnewsdaily.com/condolences-how-to-write-a-condolence-message/#religious-condolence-messages-may-he-rest-in-peace-and-beyond
- ↑ https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/ways-to-support-someone-who-is-grieving
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/grief/helping-someone-who-is-grieving.htm
- ↑ https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/ways-to-support-someone-who-is-grieving
- ↑ https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/guides-to-support-and-services/bereavement/for-friends-and-family/
- ↑ https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/ways-to-support-someone-who-is-grieving
- ↑ https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/guides-to-support-and-services/bereavement/for-friends-and-family/
- ↑ https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/ways-to-support-someone-who-is-grieving
- ↑ https://rightasrain.uwmedicine.org/life/relationships/how-to-support-someone-grieving
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/grief/helping-someone-who-is-grieving.htm
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/health/what-to-say-to-someone-grieving#things-to-say
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