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This article was co-authored by Natalia S. David, PsyD. Dr. David is an Assistant Professor in Psychology at the University of Texas Southwestern Medical Center and a Psychiatry Consultant at Clements University Hospital and at Zale Lipshy University Hospital. She is a member of the Board of Behavioral Sleep Medicine, the Academy for Integrative Pain Management, and the American Psychological Association’s Division of Health Psychology. In 2017, she received the Baylor Scott & White Research Institute’s Podium Presentation Award and scholarship. She received her PsyD from Alliant International University in 2017 with an emphasis in Health Psychology.
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This article has been viewed 14,056,218 times.
Masturbation happens in every culture, across every period of history, and it's the way most adolescents discover what they enjoy before embarking on adult sexual relationships. Masturbation is a healthy and natural part of human sexuality and development. However, if you are unable to control your urge to masturbate or if frequent masturbation is interfering with your school, work, or social life, then it's possible to gain control.
Steps
Know when to seek help. Masturbation is a natural and healthy behavior. Even if you masturbate often, you may not have an addiction. If you cannot control your thoughts or urges or if masturbation is preventing you from participating in school or work, it may be time to reach out for help. Don't feel ashamed, and remember that many people have similar problems. Seeking help is a brave action, and most people you ask will see it as such.[1]
Make an appointment with a medical professional. Counselors, psychologists and psychiatrists are all trained to help people with varying levels of addiction. Start by seeing a therapist in your area, who can assess your addiction and refer you to more specialized help if necessary.[2]
Discuss with your therapist how masturbation affects your life. Some people may use masturbation as a way to distract them from other feelings, emotions, and problems. Try to be open with your therapist as you discuss the impact that masturbation has on your life.[3]- It may take a few sessions for you to feel comfortable with your therapist. This is natural. Take the time you need.
- If you feel empty, sad, or angry before or after masturbation, share these details with your therapist. They can help you determine the source of your feelings.
Discuss your treatment options. Masturbation addiction is considered by some to be a form of sex addiction. Your therapist may recommend a combination of medication and cognitive behavioral therapy to help you work through it.[4]
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Find another outlet for your time and energy. Fill your life with engaging activities. The excitement of doing something different can help replace the urge to masturbate, and you'll have a go-to distraction next time you're tempted. Try some of these options:[5]- Be creative. The process of turning sexual urges into creative output (called sublimation) is something on which monks and sages have relied upon for centuries. Start writing, learn to play a musical instrument, paint, draw, or do whatever else makes you feel like you're doing something productive.
- Play sports. It takes discipline and persistence to excel at a sport. Develop an interest in running or swimming, or a group sport like soccer, football, basketball, or tennis. Also, any form of exercise will help you relieve tension, feel happier, and make you focus on your physicality in a positive way. Yoga is another form of exercise that can help you feel more relaxed and less likely to feel the sudden urge to masturbate.
- Eat a healthy diet. Fruits and vegetables have healthy effects on the body and provide nutrients necessary to increase your energy to make you more active throughout the day. Minimize consumption of aphrodisiac foods, such as oysters, salmon, chili peppers, coffee, avocados, banana, and chocolate.
- Find a new hobby, or cultivate a skill. Learning something that takes a while to master can refocus your brain on the delayed gratification of achieving goals instead of the instant gratification of masturbation. Try skills like cooking, woodshop, archery, baking, public speaking, or gardening.
- Volunteer your time. Devote your energy to helping teens who've been less fortunate than you, such as working at a shelter, tutoring low-income students, cleaning up blighted areas, or raising money for a good cause. You'll get an altruistic feeling from helping others, and you'll have less time to stray from your goals.
- Get enough sleep. Urges to masturbate can be exceedingly strong, so make sure you have enough energy to fight those urges. Try to get at least 8 hours of sleep. If you frequently forget to go to bed at a reasonable hour, set an alarm to remind you.
Write all disadvantages of masturbation on a paper. Take a paper and write all the disadvantages of masturbation. Everyday take that paper and revise at least 5-10 times what you have written. When you feel that masturbation has more disadvantages than advantages, you will easily quit masturbation. If you don't want anyone to read what you have written, you can use mnemonics.- When you are about to masturbate, recall all the disadvantages of your addiction.
Make a plan for avoiding masturbation during your go to times of the day. If you have problems before going to bed or in the shower, refrain from any temptation to masturbate. For instance, if it's a problem late at night, drop to the floor and do push-ups until you're too exhausted to do anything but fall asleep. Daily intense heavyweight lifting lowers sex drive.[6]If you find shower time too tempting, start using ice cold water only — you won't want to be in there for long; cold shower will offer the added benefit of saving you time and water.[7]- If you always masturbate when you get home from school, make sure to have a solid plan to stave off any boredom you may feel. If you have so little to do that your mind frequently wanders to sexual thoughts, occupy your schedule. You'll find it gets easier to avoid masturbation if you're too busy or tired to spare any energy for distractions.
- When you are about to ejaculate, press frenulum area which is between head and shaft of your penis with index finger and thumb. This stops ejaculation and allows the masturbation urge to pass away. This technique is called squeeze technique.
- If you're tempted to masturbate in the morning, try to sleep with more than just one layer of clothing so touching yourself is more of an effort.
- Practise diaphragmatic breathing or belly breathing just before masturbation urge.
Limit your solitude. If you masturbate frequently because you feel lonely, find ways to be as socially engaged as possible. This means that you should join as many clubs or activities as you can, accept and give more invitations to people, and go out of your way to make more friends. If you want to date someone, consider asking a friend to set you up or join an online dating site.[8]- Another thing you can do is to limit the times when you are likely to be home alone. If you tend to masturbate in the hour or two before your parents get home from work, go for a walk during that time, or do your homework in a coffee shop.
- Even if all of your friends are busy, you can still limit your impulse to masturbate by going out in public. For instance, instead of watching the game at home by yourself, watch it at a sports bar. Even if you're not hanging out with friends, you will not be alone, ultimately having no time for masturbation.
Stop watching porn on your computer. One of the reasons you may be masturbating so much is that you know that you can access porn within seconds if you desire. However, if you don't have the willpower to stop looking at the porn on your own, then you may have to take other measures to get the job done:- Consider installing porn-blocking software on your computer. Of course you will know the password to bypass the blocking function, but just having it pop up will remind you of your priorities. You can also type a random password in a text file, copy and paste it when you enter your password and verify it, then delete the text file. Then, you will not be able to know the password of your own porn-blocker. This is the best way to keep you strong and spare you the struggle.
- If you have the tendency to masturbate looking at porn on the computer, try moving your computer into a room where others can see you.
- If you have a physical collection of porn, dispose of it ASAP (as soon as possible).
Be persistent and patient. Stopping a masturbation addiction won't hit you like a lightning bolt. It's a process that requires commitment, and you might make mistakes or relapse on occasions. The real struggle is persevering, so commit now that you won't let little mistakes stand in your way.- Set up a reward system. Bribe yourself to stay on-track with rewards for good behavior. For instance, if you can go two whole weeks without masturbating once, treat yourself to a small indulgence like a new game or an ice cream cone.
Stop punishing yourself. Remember, you're human, and humans masturbate. Some studies show that up to 95% of males and 89% of females admit that they have masturbated. Masturbation is normal and healthy for all ages and genders.[9]
Don't believe the myths about the harms of masturbation. If you want to stop your masturbation addiction, then you should do it for reasons that are personal and moral, not for reasons that are health-related. Here are some things that masturbation will not do to your body:[10]- Masturbation will not cause infertility, premature ejaculation, or impotence.
- Masturbation will not cause insanity.
- Masturbation will not cause blindness or even eye floaters.
- Masturbation will not cause frequent urination.
- Masturbation does not affect facial hair, growth, facial features, kidneys, testicles, cause skin problems, or cause any major physical issues! These are all myths.
Know that it will get better. If you believe that you can really find a way to stop your masturbation addiction, then you'll be able to do it. Maybe your goal isn't to stop masturbating completely, but just to limit your masturbation to a healthy amount, such as once or twice a day. That's perfectly fine, too. If you have the belief that you really can win this battle, you'll be much more likely to succeed than if you're constantly second-guessing yourself.- That being said, there may be days when you have relapses. This is a normal part of the recovery process. Don't become discouraged. Believe in yourself.
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- Motivate yourself by reminding yourself that abstaining will increase sexual performance, because if you don't do it as much you will have more energy and be more easily aroused when you have sex with someone, whoever it may be, and also you will have a stronger orgasm since you are less desensitized to the feeling. For optimum hormone levels, keep masturbation to no more than once a week. Studies in men have shown that not masturbating for up to a week slightly increases testosterone, after this, it goes back down.Thanks
- Set tiny goals for yourself, start with going three days clean, the third day is the speed bump, get past that and you know that you're committed. Then go a week, then 10 days, then two weeks, then 17 days, etc.Thanks
- Do exercise daily in the evening, this will make you tired at night. And since masturbation is often done at night, so when you are exhausted, you will give preference to sleep, not to masturbation.Thanks
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Warnings
- Some video games, films, and even books contain sexual material, such as sexually attractive characters or sexual activity (kissing, making out or even making love). So if you play video games to distract the need, be careful! Research about films and books beforehand and don't watch/ read them if they contain sexual content.Thanks
- Remember that members of the clergy and medical professionals are human and susceptible to error, too. If you ask someone for help and he or she suggests a remedy you find highly uncomfortable, seek a second opinion.Thanks
References
- ↑ https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/treatments/22690-sex-addiction-hypersexuality-and-compulsive-sexual-behavior
- ↑ https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/natural-recoverers-kick-addiction-without-help-201202134236
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/compassion-matters/201201/are-you-addict
- ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/24001295
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/healthy-living/volunteering-and-its-surprising-benefits.htm
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/healthy-living/how-to-start-exercising-and-stick-to-it.htm
- ↑ https://www.uclahealth.org/news/6-cold-shower-benefits-consider
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/making-good-friends.htm
- ↑ https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/24332-masturbation
About This Article
Psychologist
This article was co-authored by Natalia S. David, PsyD. Dr. David is an Assistant Professor in Psychology at the University of Texas Southwestern Medical Center and a Psychiatry Consultant at Clements University Hospital and at Zale Lipshy University Hospital. She is a member of the Board of Behavioral Sleep Medicine, the Academy for Integrative Pain Management, and the American Psychological Association’s Division of Health Psychology. In 2017, she received the Baylor Scott & White Research Institute’s Podium Presentation Award and scholarship. She received her PsyD from Alliant International University in 2017 with an emphasis in Health Psychology. This article has been viewed 14,056,218 times.
Co-authors: 437
Updated: August 4, 2023
Views: 14,056,218
Categories: Addictions
Medical Disclaimer
The content of this article is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, examination, diagnosis, or treatment. You should always contact your doctor or other qualified healthcare professional before starting, changing, or stopping any kind of health treatment.
Article SummaryX
To stop a masturbation addiction, one of the best things you can do is to find a new hobby or interest, like painting, playing a sport, or learning a new instrument to fill your time. You can also plan ways to distract yourself when you get tempted to masturbate, such as doing pushups or reading a comic book. If you spend a lot of time alone, try to make plans with friends and family so you can stay busy and distract yourself. Alternatively, you can go for a walk or go to a coffee shop so you’re not sitting at home all the time. If you feel like you really can’t control yourself and your situation isn’t improving, don’t be afraid to reach out to a counselor or psychiatrist for support. For more tips from our Psychology co-author, including how to stop watching porn, read on!
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