This article was co-authored by Allison Broennimann, PhD and by How.com.vn staff writer, Amy Bobinger. Dr. Allison Broennimann is a licensed Clinical Psychologist with a private practice based in the San Francisco Bay Area providing psychotherapy and neuropsychology services. With over a decade of experience, Dr. Broennimann specializes in in-depth psychotherapy to provide solution-focused treatments for anxiety, depression, relationship problems, grief, adjustment problems, traumatic stress, and phase-of-life transitions. And as part of her neuropsychology practice, she integrates depth psychotherapy and cognitive rehabilitation for those recovering after traumatic brain injury. Dr. Broennimann holds a BA in Psychology from the University of California, Santa Cruz, and an MS and Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology from Palo Alto University. She is licensed by the California Board of Psychology and is a member of the American Psychological Association.
There are 13 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
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There are a lot of reasons you might resent someone—they might have hurt you in the past, you might feel like they take advantage of you, or you might feel envious that they have some of the things you want in life. However, holding on to anger and resentment towards someone else can really start to eat away at you. Luckily, if you're willing to put in the work, you can start to process those feelings in a way that's healthier for you, and you may even find that you're able to accept the past and forgive the other person.
Steps
Expert Q&A
Tips
References
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/some-assembly-required/201701/8-strategies-work-through-anger-and-resentment
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/blog/a-technique-for-feeling-painful-feelings
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/blog/a-technique-for-feeling-painful-feelings
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/some-assembly-required/201701/8-strategies-work-through-anger-and-resentment
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/blog/3-ways-to-stop-resentment-from-ruining-your-relationship
- ↑ Allison Broennimann, PhD. Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview. 11 December 2020.
- ↑ https://health.clevelandclinic.org/6-reasons-resentment-creeps-into-your-relationships-and-what-to-do-about-it/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/turning-straw-gold/201207/transforming-envy-joy
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mood-thought/201307/four-tips-habit-research-reduce-worry-and-rumination
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/some-assembly-required/201701/8-strategies-work-through-anger-and-resentment
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-forgiving-life/201703/why-resentment-lasts-and-how-defeat-it
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/some-assembly-required/201701/8-strategies-work-through-anger-and-resentment
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/some-assembly-required/201701/8-strategies-work-through-anger-and-resentment
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/blog/3-ways-to-stop-resentment-from-ruining-your-relationship#1
- ↑ https://health.clevelandclinic.org/6-reasons-resentment-creeps-into-your-relationships-and-what-to-do-about-it/
- ↑ https://health.clevelandclinic.org/6-reasons-resentment-creeps-into-your-relationships-and-what-to-do-about-it/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-forgiving-life/201703/why-resentment-lasts-and-how-defeat-it
- ↑ https://health.clevelandclinic.org/6-reasons-resentment-creeps-into-your-relationships-and-what-to-do-about-it/
About This Article
If you're struggling with handling your resentment against someone, try talking about your feelings with someone you trust, which may help you see the situation more objectively. Alternatively, if you still have a relationship with the person you resent, tell them how you feel, making sure to avoid accusations and use “I” statements, like “I was hurt when you did that.” Then, come up with a solution that will help you move on, like asking for an apology or agreeing not to talk about certain subjects. For advice from our Mental Health reviewer on how practice self-compassion after someone has hurt you, read on!
Reader Success Stories
- "I learned that the people I resented where the flaws in them that I had myself."
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