This article was written by Jason Polk, LCSW, LAC and by How.com.vn staff writer, Dev Murphy, MA. Jason Polk is a Relationship Counselor and the Owner of Colorado Relationship Recovery. With over 12 years of experience as a therapist, he specializes in helping couples build healthy and thriving relationships through counseling. Jason holds an MSW from Newman University, Colorado Springs. He is also a Level II Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy (PACT) therapist, Healing Our Core Issues (HOCII) Certified therapist, and has training in Relational Life Therapy (RLT).
This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources.
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At some point in almost every relationship, you wonder if you’ve really found “the one”...or if the grass is greener somewhere else. But how do you know for sure? Are you and your girlfriend just in a rut, or are the red flags telling you it’s time to make a run for it? Well, we can’t tell you whether your relationship should end, but we can walk you through figuring it out for yourself. We’ve compiled a list of different possible reasons you might consider breaking up with your girlfriend, as well as expert advice on whether to end the relationship—or if it might be salvageable after all.
This article is based on an interview with our relationship counselor, Jason Polk, owner of Colorado Relationship Recovery. Check out the full interview here.
Things You Should Know
- Ask yourself if there are any red flags in your relationship, like abuse, waning interest, mismatched investment, or anything else.
- Talk to your girlfriend about your concerns. If she’s willing to listen and make changes, the relationship might be salvageable!
- Trust your gut, but know that just because you’re having doubts right now, you don’t have to break up if you don’t want to.
Steps
How.com.vn Quiz: Should We Break Up?
Expert Q&A
- QuestionWhy am I so hesitant to break up?Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCCMoshe Ratson is the Executive Director of spiral2grow Marriage & Family Therapy, a coaching and therapy clinic in New York City. Moshe is an International Coach Federation accredited Professional Certified Coach (PCC). He received his MS in Marriage and Family Therapy from Iona College. Moshe is a clinical member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), and a member of the International Coach Federation (ICF).
Marriage & Family TherapistThere might be a discrepancy between the rational and emotional parts of your mind. Rationally, it might make sense for you to end the relationship, but emotionally, you might not be ready to leave. The solution is to go deeper into your belief system and explore what you're afraid of. What is the driving force behind these emotional strings? If you're being gentle with yourself, you might learn a lot about yourself and the unconscious aspects of what's driving you.
Tips
Expert Interview
Thanks for reading our article! If you'd like to learn more about acknowledging relationship problems, check out our in-depth interview with Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC.
References
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/emotional-fitness/201808/top-10-reasons-relationship-break-ups
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/emotional-fitness/201808/top-10-reasons-relationship-break-ups
- ↑ https://goaskalice.columbia.edu/answered-questions/spice-up-sex-life/
- ↑ https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1985-20101-001
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/emotional-fitness/201808/top-10-reasons-relationship-break-ups
- ↑ https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/24128187/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-path-passionate-happiness/201505/3-reasons-why-you-have-trust-your-gut
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-psychology-relationships/202104/dont-let-doubts-doom-your-relationship
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