This article was written by Tara Vossenkemper, PhD, LPC and by How.com.vn staff writer, Eric McClure. Dr. Tara Vossenkemper is a Licensed Professional Counselor and the Founder and Managing Director of The Counseling Hub, LLC, a group counseling practice located in Columbia, Missouri. She is also the Founder of and a Business Consultant with Tara Vossenkemper Consulting, LLC, a consulting service for therapy practice owners. With over nine years of experience, she specializes in using the Gottman Method of relationship therapy with couples on the brink of divorce, who have conflict, or who feel disconnected from one another. Dr. Vossenkemper holds a BA in Psychology from The University of Missouri, Saint Louis, an MA in Counseling from Missouri Baptist University, and a PhD in Counselor Education and Supervision from The University of Missouri, Saint Louis. She has also completed Level 3 training in the Gottman Method Couples Therapy approach and has been formally trained in both the Prepare-Enrich Premarital Couples Counseling approach and the PREP Approach for couples counseling.
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If you’ve stumbled upon your husband (or boyfriend) looking at photos of other women on social media or other popular online platforms, it’s reasonable to feel confused, upset, or even betrayed. While it’s possible that this is a sign he’s compensating for something missing in your relationship, know that this is very common and may not be a bad sign. In this article, we’ll walk through why men do this, what it probably means to him, and what you can do to articulate your boundaries and put an end to this behavior if that’s what you want.
This article is based on an interview with our licensed professional counselor, Tara Vossenkemper, founder of Tara Vossenkemper Consulting, LLC. Check out the full interview here.
Things You Should Know
- If he’s casually looking at women on social media, he’s probably just admiring their beauty without getting emotionally invested.
- If he’s obsessively looking at pornography or he’s uniquely fascinated with one woman, it could be a sign of an addiction or emotional infidelity.
- Talk to your husband about his viewing habits to identify why he’s looking at these photos and explain how his behavior makes you feel.
Steps
Expert Q&A
Tips
References
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/sexual-intelligence/201707/husbands-watch-porn-wives-despair-why
- ↑ https://www.marinij.com/2018/05/04/ask-amy-my-husband-looked-up-an-old-girlfriend-on-facebook/
- ↑ https://www.fatherly.com/parenting/men-who-cheat-checking-out-women
- ↑ https://firstthings.org/husband-watching-porn/
- ↑ https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/14-signs-you-have-crossed-into-an-emotional-affair-0912157
- ↑ https://www.sexandpsychology.com/blog/2012/4/6/sex-question-friday-can-i-ask-my-partner-to-give-up-porn/
- ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5961625/
- ↑ https://parenting.firstcry.com/articles/what-you-must-do-if-your-husband-likes-online-porn/
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/blog/should-you-ever-give-an-ultimatum-in-a-relationship#are-ultimatums-healthy
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/sexual-intelligence/201707/husbands-watch-porn-wives-despair-why
- ↑ https://ifstudies.org/blog/the-porn-gap-gender-differences-in-pornography-use-in-couple-relationships
- ↑ https://www.fatherly.com/parenting/men-who-cheat-checking-out-women
- ↑ https://www.focusonthefamily.com/family-qa/husband-looks-at-other-women/
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