Download ArticleDownload ArticleThis article was co-authored by Lena Dicken, Psy.D and by How.com.vn staff writer, Dev Murphy, MA. Dr. Lena Dicken is a Clinical Psychologist based in Santa Monica, California. With over eight years of experience, Dr. Dicken specializes in therapy for anxiety, depression, life transitions, and relationship difficulties. She utilizes an integrative approach combining Psychodynamic, Cognitive Behavioral, and Mindfulness-based therapies. Dr. Dicken holds a BS in Integrative Medicine from the University of Hawaii at Manoa, an MA in Counseling Psychology from Argosy University Los Angeles, and a Doctor of Psychology (Psy.D) in Clinical Psychology from the Chicago School of Professional Psychology at Westwood. Dr. Dicken’s work has been featured in GOOP, The Chalkboard Magazine, and in numerous other articles and podcasts. She is a licensed psychologist with the state of California.
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Whether you've just broken up with a significant other or suffered a full-blown divorce, separating from someone you loved is never easy. But we promise, you will get through the heartbreak, and we’ve developed a guide on how to make the process a little easier. With positivity, patience, and determination, you can always work your way out of the darkness of a romantic split. Check out our guide to forgetting the one you loved deeply, below.
Things You Should Know
- Accept that the relationship is over, and try to forgive yourself and your ex for any part you both may have played in the end of the relationship.
- Focus on your other relationships, including the one you have with yourself. Take up new hobbies and exercise to distract you and boost your self-confidence.
- Give it time. The healing process can’t be rushed, and it might take months or longer before you’re over your ex.
Steps
Expert Q&A
- QuestionHow do we forget memories which come in mind again and again?
Klare Heston, LCSWKlare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).
Licensed Social WorkerYou cannot completely "get rid of their memories." However, you can learn to control how much time you devote to luxuriating in those memories. Get busy, get out of the house, visit with friends, and don't get involved too quickly. - QuestionHow do I get over someone whom I have a child with?Klare Heston, LCSWKlare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).
Licensed Social WorkerIt is perhaps most difficult to get over a person you have a child with because you cannot just not see them. But you can minimize contact and get creative with the ways you do the drop-offs.
Tips
Expert Interview
Thanks for reading our article! If you’d like to learn more about break ups, check out our in-depth interview with Lena Dicken, Psy.D.
References
- ↑ https://health.clevelandclinic.org/grieving-after-a-break-up-6-strategies-to-help-you-heal/
- ↑ https://www.urmc.rochester.edu/encyclopedia/content.aspx?ContentID=4552&ContentTypeID=1
- ↑ https://health.clevelandclinic.org/grieving-after-a-break-up-6-strategies-to-help-you-heal/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/social-instincts/202303/4-ways-to-heal-and-move-on-after-a-breakup
- ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7709927/
- ↑ https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34152851/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-mindful-self-express/201104/the-neuroscience-relationship-breakups
- ↑ https://www.womenshealthmag.com/relationships/a19926456/how-long-does-it-take-to-get-over-someone/
- ↑ https://health.clevelandclinic.org/grieving-after-a-break-up-6-strategies-to-help-you-heal/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-adaptive-mind/202002/how-let-go-the-past
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/mindfulness
- ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8907849/
- ↑ https://www.womenshealthmag.com/relationships/a19926456/how-long-does-it-take-to-get-over-someone/
- ↑ https://www.womenshealthmag.com/relationships/a19926456/how-long-does-it-take-to-get-over-someone/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-adaptive-mind/202002/how-let-go-the-past
- ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3115386/
About This Article
Moving on from someone you loved deeply is extremely difficult, but it does get easier with time. Start by getting rid of things that remind you of the person, or at least putting them away where you can’t get at them easily. Cut off contact with your ex, too. Unfollow them on social media and remove their number from your phone if you have to. While this is tough, it’ll make it much easier for you to heal and move on in the long run. It’s normal to experience grief after the end of a relationship, so give yourself time to process those feelings. At the same time, look for ways to keep yourself busy with things you enjoy. Work on hobbies you love, spend time caring for yourself and getting exercise, and surround yourself with supportive people. Set goals for yourself and start working toward them so you can focus on the future instead of the past. After a while, you may notice that you’re thinking of your ex less and less. For tips from our Counseling co-author on how to open up to new relationships after you’ve forgotten the one you love, read on!
Reader Success Stories
"hi dear,this feature made me to move on my life with many objective to be accomplish..hence i planned many things in my life...so i could forget my past incidents or loved one in my life...thank you for your great assistance..."..." more
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