This article was co-authored by Allen Wagner, MFT, MA and by How.com.vn staff writer, Hannah Madden. Allen Wagner is a licensed marriage and family therapist based in Los Angeles, California. He received his Master's in Psychology from Pepperdine University in 2004. He specializes in working with individuals and couples on ways they can improve their relationships. Along with his wife, Talia Wagner, he's the author of Married Roommates.
There are 9 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
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Ever heard the saying "Men are from Mars and women are from Venus?" Even if you haven't, you might be feeling like you and the guys you know are on completely different planets. Not understanding your partner, in particular, can be exhausting, and it can lead to a lot of emotional turmoil, too. While every man is different, there are a few things you can keep in mind as you strive to understand the men in your life and strengthen your relationships.
Steps
Expert Q&A
Tips
- Not all men are the same, and not all of these “rules” apply to every man.Thanks
References
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-the-questions/201401/how-crack-the-code-men-s-feelings
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/emotional-fitness/201008/men-women-emotions-and-communication
- ↑ https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/your-stories/why-men-like-me-must-learn-to-talk-about-how-they-feel/
- ↑ https://mensline.org.au/mens-mental-health/men-and-emotions/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-the-questions/201401/how-crack-the-code-men-s-feelings
- ↑ https://newsroom.clevelandclinic.org/2019/09/04/cleveland-clinic-survey-men-will-do-almost-anything-to-avoid-going-to-the-doctor/
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/blog/6-ways-men-and-women-communicate-differently/
- ↑ https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20140617-how-often-do-men-think-about-sex
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/me-we/201308/men-in-relationships-5-simple-categories
About This Article
Men are complicated individuals, who can be difficult to understand. While all men are different, there are some common considerations that can help you begin to see where a guy is coming from. For a long time, society has expected men not to express emotions that could be seen as "weak," like sadness and vulnerability. Because of such unrealistic and harmful expectations, a lot of men have difficulty processing these emotions. They may turn them into more conventionally "masculine" responses like anger even if that's not what they really feel. In difficult moments, guys may take longer to get an idea of how they're actually feeling, versus how they're traditionally expected to respond. Ultimately, to know what a man is thinking and how he's really doing, you need to ask him; but keep in mind the external pressures he may be experiencing, and give him whatever time and space he needs to work through them before he can reply truthfully—he'll talk when he's ready. On the other hand, if you're trying to tell a man how you're feeling, and he offers suggestions instead of comfort, keep in mind: the same societal influences that pressure men to be completely "practical" may make him think that you want him to solve your problem instead of just listening! To avoid frustration, tell him up front that you're venting and just need support. While men can sometimes seem impossible to get, taking a broader perspective can give you a little insight into their behavior. To learn how to give your man some space, keep reading!
Reader Success Stories
- "Understanding facilitates positive, loving relationships! It's about the right match. "
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