Download ArticleDownload ArticleThis article was co-authored by Julie Krizner and by How.com.vn staff writer, Amber Crain. Julie Krizner is a Licensed Professional Counselor and is the Executive Director at Axiom Family Counseling Services. With over 10 years of professional experience in the mental health field, Julie is trained in trauma, marriage, and family therapy. Her clinics have programs that specialize in addiction and she has extensive knowledge about addiction and medications to assist with overcoming it. Julie is a Certified Advanced Alcohol and Drug Counselor in the state of Pennsylvania. She received her Bachelor's degree in Psychology from Saint Vincent College and a Master's in Mental Health Counseling from Capella University.
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It can be a little stressful when someone asks you, “What do you like about me?” Even if you have lots of reasons why you like the person, being put on the spot can make it hard to answer them the way you’d like to. Take a moment to breathe so you can react in a positive way. Smile at the person and give them your full attention. Start with something really basic and go from there. Once you break the ice and get started, you’ll probably find it a bit easier to share more comments with them.
Steps
Breathe. When someone asks you this question, it might catch you off-guard or make you feel nervous because they are putting you on the spot. Feeling nervous can make you blurt out things without really thinking about them first. Sometimes nervousness can even make your mind go totally blank, and suddenly you can’t think of anything to say at all! Take a deep breath before you answer.
Start with something basic. Is this person your friend? A significant other? A family member? Whatever their role is, give them praise for that role. If you feel caught off-guard by the question, starting with something basic can also buy you some time to think about a more specific answer.- For example, you could tell a friend, “You’re a really amazing friend to me.”
- You could say to a significant other, “You’re a really thoughtful boyfriend."
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Go into more detail. Now that you’ve gotten started, elaborate by pointing out specific qualities. To a friend, you could say something like, “I like the fact that you’re always there for me. You make me feel so supported.” To a significant other, you could say, “You are a caring person. You always put a lot of thought into our relationship.” Here are some other details you can add:- "You're the first girlfriend to treat me like I'm truly special."
- "I look forward to our hangouts all week long. I have so much fun with you."
Back your statement up with an example. Try to think of a specific example that you can use to support your comments. You could tell a friend, “You were really there for me when my dog Lucy died. I was so upset and you took the time to comfort me.” You could say to a significant other, “You really showed your thoughtfulness when you planned a picnic for us on our two month anniversary.” Here are some other things you can say:- “You’re so funny! I still laugh about the practical joke we played on your brother last summer.”[1]
- “You called to check on me when I was really sick. No one else did that.”
- “You’re so smart. I aced the last algebra exam because you helped me study.”
Use positive and specific words. Instead of saying something vague like, “You’re good at school,” try something like, “You’re so talented in art class. Your last project was great. I wish I could draw that well!” Instead of a neutral answer like, “You’re always nice to everyone,” you can say, “You really go out of your way to be kind and compassionate to other people." Use words that are specific and stand out as positive, like “talented” and “compassionate.” Try things like:- “You’re fearless! I love how brave you are.”
- "You're so knowledgeable and passionate about music! Every time we hang out, you share new bands with me."
Tell them about their best personality trait.[2] When you think about this person and their personality, what’s the first good thought or word that comes to mind? Are they funny? Smart? Determined? Talented? Happy? Attractive? Energetic? Whatever it is, tell them about it! Say things like:- “I like how funny you are. You always make me laugh when we hang out!”
- “I like that you’re a happy and positive person. You create a good vibe around yourself and I like being around you.”
Focus on their personality instead of their appearance.[3] It might seem like the right move to mention their looks, but try to place a lot more importance on their personality when you answer this question. It’s okay to tell someone they are pretty or handsome – you don’t have to avoid saying it! But if looks are the only thing you mention to them, the person might walk away feeling that their outward appearance is the only likable thing about them. Say things like:- “You’re a great listener.”
- “You inspire me.”
- "You have a good heart.”
Take a moment to think about why you’re being asked this. If your best friend was just broken up with, they are likely feeling sad and experiencing low self-esteem. Your significant other might be feeling insecure about your relationship. If you’ve recently had an argument with a friend, they may be worried that you are angry and truly don’t like them anymore. If you know why they are asking, give the person an encouraging answer that will lift them up. Say things like:[4]- "I've never felt this strongly about a boyfriend. You mean the world to me."
- "No matter what happens, I will always be your friend."
Take their question seriously. Their sudden question may some weird or silly to you, but they probably really want to know why you like them. Stop what you’re doing and focus on the person so that you can give them a good answer. Smile and look them in the eyes when you reply. Really think about your words instead of giving a half-hearted or brief answer.- If the person has asked you this question many times before and seems to have no real reason for doing it, it’s possible that they are just fishing for compliments. This is especially true if they are never satisfied with the answer you give them.[5]
- In this case, you can say something like, "I have already answered this question several times. Is something else going on?"
Be sincere. If the person feels comfortable enough to ask you what you like about them, chances are you already know them pretty well. Because of this, you don’t have to force a fake answer. You really do like the person. Tell them how you really feel.[6]- You can say to a friend, "Sarah, you've been my best friend since we were five years old. We've been through so much together. I can't imagine my life without you in it." You can then go on to list specifics.
- It’s unlikely, but if you are asked this question by someone that you don’t like or don't know well, try to be nice to them about it. Answer as sincerely as you can. You could say, "I don't know you that well, but you seem like a really nice person."
Expert Q&A
- QuestionWhat are the reasons why someone asks this question?
Julie KriznerJulie Krizner is a Licensed Professional Counselor and is the Executive Director at Axiom Family Counseling Services. With over 10 years of professional experience in the mental health field, Julie is trained in trauma, marriage, and family therapy. Her clinics have programs that specialize in addiction and she has extensive knowledge about addiction and medications to assist with overcoming it. Julie is a Certified Advanced Alcohol and Drug Counselor in the state of Pennsylvania. She received her Bachelor's degree in Psychology from Saint Vincent College and a Master's in Mental Health Counseling from Capella University.
Licensed Professional CounselorThere are two types of people who ask these questions. First, they might be insecure about themselves, and they're not sure why you're their friend. They may also not value themselves, so they're looking for someone to validate them. Second, introspective people. They want to know what they're bringing to somebody, and they want to know what they can do more to make sure that they're meeting the needs of the other person. If you were asked this question, I would respond with genuine responses like, you're a great person and you're perfect just the way you are. - QuestionWhat should I say when a guy asks me what's so special about him?
Community AnswerIt's the same basic question. Just be honest. Tell him what his best qualities are, why you agreed to go out with him, etc. - QuestionI told the boy who asked me why I liked him, "You're different." he said, "Everyone says that, what else?" I said I'd have to think about it. What do I say to him?
Community AnswerBe honest, tell him what first made you like him and why he is different.
Tips
Expert Interview
Thanks for reading our article! If you’d like to learn more about relationships, check out our in-depth interview with Julie Krizner.
References
- ↑ http://tinybuddha.com/blog/52-ways-tell-someone-love-appreciate/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200403/the-art-the-compliment
- ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2016/01/22/genuine-compliments_n_5617439.html
- ↑ http://www.keepinspiring.me/encouraging-quotes/
- ↑ http://www.thefriendshipblog.com/needy-friends-friend-indeed/
- ↑ http://www.happify.com/hd/learn-to-give-genuine-compliments/
About This Article
If someone asks you “What do you like about me,” start by saying something basic based on their relationship to you. For instance, if they’re your significant other, you can say, “You’re a really thoughtful boyfriend.” By starting with a basic compliment, you can buy some time to think of something more detailed in case the question caught you off guard. When you do think of something specific, focus on their positive personality traits and back it up with an example. You can say, “You’re so smart. I aced my last algebra exam because you helped me study.” It might seem flattering to mention their looks, but avoid spending too much time praising their appearance because it might seem like you don’t care about their personality. For more help, including how to add more sincerity to your answer, scroll down.
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