This article was co-authored by Adam Dorsay, PsyD and by How.com.vn staff writer, Sophie Burkholder, BA. Dr. Adam Dorsay is a licensed psychologist in private practice in San Jose, CA, and the co-creator of Project Reciprocity, an international program at Facebook's Headquarters, and a consultant with Digital Ocean’s Safety Team. He specializes in assisting high-achieving adults with relationship issues, stress reduction, anxiety, and attaining more happiness in their lives. In 2016 he gave a well-watched TEDx talk about men and emotions. Dr. Dorsay has a M.A. in Counseling from Santa Clara University and received his doctorate in Clinical Psychology in 2008.
There are 12 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources.
Are you trying to hold a conversation with someone but getting no answers in return? Then you may be dealing with the silent treatment, a common tactic some people may use to get further under your skin and make themselves feel better. We know that dealing with the silent treatment can feel tough, and we’re here to help you recognize all the ways you can to combat this narcissistic behavior. Keep reading, and we’ll cover why someone with narcissistic tendencies may give you the silent treatment and how to counter it. However, It’s important to remember that anyone can display narcissistic traits or behaviors—this doesn’t mean that they’re necessarily a "narcissist" or have Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), which only a licensed therapist can diagnose.
Things You Should Know
- Someone who’s giving you the silent treatment may stop talking to you for extended periods of time or only address you when they need something.
- People with narcissistic qualities may use silent treatment as a form of abuse or manipulation in order to avoid blame, maintain control, or punish you.
- If someone in your life gives you the silent treatment, ignore them, do activities that make you happy, and stay connected with your friends and family.
Steps
Expert Q&A
Tips
- It’s normal and healthy to take breaks from conversations if someone isn’t in a good headspace to keep it going. If the person asks politely to discuss an issue later so they have time to calm down and then reconvenes with you at a later time, then it’s a healthy break.[14]Thanks
Warnings
- Keep in mind that narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a mental health condition that can only be diagnosed by a mental health professional. People with this personality disorder often work hard to relate to others in a healthy way, and their diagnosis doesn’t automatically mean that they’re abusive or manipulative people.[15]Thanks
- Avoid labeling individuals as narcissists when what you really mean is that someone is manipulating you or acting in a selfish way.[16]Thanks
Expert Interview
Thanks for reading our article! If you’d like to learn more about narcissism, check out our in-depth interview with Adam Dorsay, PsyD.
References
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/blog/recovering-narcissist/2019/10/5-terrifying-ways-narcissists-and-psychopaths-manufacture-chaos-provoke-and-manipulate-you#5
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/overcoming-destructive-anger/202209/why-the-silent-treatment-is-such-destructive-form-passive
- ↑ https://www.simplypsychology.org/stonewalling-narcissists.html
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/beyond-cultural-competence/202304/5-emotionally-abusive-uses-of-the-silent-treatment
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/blog/therapy-soup/2014/11/the-silent-treatment-and-what-you-can-do-to-stop-it-cold#1
- ↑ https://www.simplypsychology.org/stonewalling-narcissists-silent-treatment-method-draft.html
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/overcoming-destructive-anger/202209/why-the-silent-treatment-is-such-destructive-form-passive
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/beyond-cultural-competence/202304/5-emotionally-abusive-uses-of-the-silent-treatment
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/blog/recovering-narcissist/2019/07/the-narcissist-withholds-attention-as-a-control-tactic-3-ways-to-reclaim-your-power#2
- ↑ https://www.simplypsychology.org/stonewalling-narcissists-silent-treatment-method-draft.html
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/mental-disorders/narcissistic-personality-disorder.htm
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/blog/recovering-narcissist/2019/07/the-narcissist-withholds-attention-as-a-control-tactic-3-ways-to-reclaim-your-power#3
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/overcoming-destructive-anger/202209/why-the-silent-treatment-is-such-destructive-form-passive
- ↑ https://scholarsarchive.byu.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1038&context=familyperspectives
- ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/narcissistic-personality-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20366662
- ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/narcissistic-personality-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20366662
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