This article was co-authored by Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFP and by How.com.vn staff writer, Hannah Madden. Rebecca Tenzer is the owner and head clinician at Astute Counseling Services, a private counseling practice in Chicago, Illinois. With over 18 years of clinical and educational experience in the field of mental health, Rebecca specializes in the treatment of depression, anxiety, panic, trauma, grief, interpersonal relationships using a combination of Cognitive Behavioral therapy, Psychodynamic therapy, and other evidence-based practices. Rebecca holds a Bachelor of Arts (BA) in Sociology and Anthropology from DePauw University, a Master in Teaching (MAT) from Dominican University, and a Master of Social Work (MSW) from the University of Chicago. Rebecca has served as a member of the AmeriCorps and is also a Professor of Psychology at the collegiate level. Rebecca is trained as a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist (CBT), a Certified Clinical Trauma Professional (CCTP), a Certified Grief Counseling Specialist (CGCS), a Clinical Anxiety Treatment Professional (CCATP), and a Certified Compassion Fatigue Professional (CCFP). Rebecca is also a member of the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Society of America and The National Association of Social Workers.
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When you hurt the one you love, figuring out how to make it up to them can be tough. Messing up never feels good, but it’s what you do afterwards that can make all the difference. If you upset your boyfriend and you’re looking for ways to make it right, read through this article to learn how you can apologize and what you can do to make it up to him.
Steps
Expert Q&A
- QuestionWhat do you do when you hurt your boyfriend?Elvina Lui, MFTElvina Lui is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist specializing in relationship counseling based in the San Francisco Bay Area. Elvina received her Masters in Counseling from Western Seminary in 2007 and trained under the Asian Family Institute in San Francisco and the New Life Community Services in Santa Cruz. She has over 13 years of counseling experience and is trained in the harm reduction model.
Marriage & Family TherapistTell him that you are sorry, no matter how small the incident was. This isn't about giving him power over you—it's about showing him that he can count on you for even the little things. - QuestionWhat do you say when your boyfriend is hurt?Elvina Lui, MFTElvina Lui is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist specializing in relationship counseling based in the San Francisco Bay Area. Elvina received her Masters in Counseling from Western Seminary in 2007 and trained under the Asian Family Institute in San Francisco and the New Life Community Services in Santa Cruz. She has over 13 years of counseling experience and is trained in the harm reduction model.
Marriage & Family TherapistLet him know that he can depend on you. Guys tend to have higher expectations about this. This doesn't mean you have to be perfect—it just means apologizing, owning your mistakes, and taking responsibility.
Video
Tips
Expert Interview
Thanks for reading our article! If you’d like to learn more about relationship repair, check out our in-depth interview with Patti Novak Williams.
References
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/mental-health/emotional-intelligence-love-relationships.htm
- ↑ Patti Novak Williams. Professional Matchmaker & Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 12 January 2021.
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/stronger-the-broken-places/201308/read-you-apologize-her-or-him
- ↑ Raymond Chiu. House Cleaning Professional. Expert Interview. 15 October 2019.
- ↑ https://www.nytimes.com/2019/08/18/smarter-living/what-to-do-when-youve-said-the-wrong-thing.html
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/valley-girl-brain/201709/7-ways-truly-say-youre-sorry
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/ambigamy/201402/mastering-the-art-giving-and-taking-space
- ↑ https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/doing-good-science/the-ethics-of-admitting-you-messed-up/
- ↑ Raymond Chiu. House Cleaning Professional. Expert Interview. 15 October 2019.
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/blog/emotionally-sensitive/2017/01/relationship-effectiveness-what-to-do-when-youve-messed-up#2
- ↑ https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/doing-good-science/the-ethics-of-admitting-you-messed-up/
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/blog/emotionally-sensitive/2017/01/relationship-effectiveness-what-to-do-when-youve-messed-up#3
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/relationship-help.htm
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