Download ArticleDownload ArticleThis article was co-authored by Sandra Possing and by How.com.vn staff writer, Raven Minyard, BA. Sandra Possing is a life coach, speaker, and entrepreneur based in the San Francisco Bay Area. Sandra specializes in one-on-one coaching with a focus on mindset and leadership transformation. Sandra received her coaching training from The Coaches Training Institute and has seven years of life coaching experience. She holds a BA in Anthropology from the University of California, Los Angeles.
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Sometimes a little “fake it till you make it” can give you the nudge you need to set you in a positive direction. While you shouldn't feel like you have to put on a smile to please other people, there are times when you need to muster your energy and get through a situation. In this article, we’ll teach you all the best tips on how to look and act happy when you don’t feel like it, including expert advice on cultivating genuine happiness from life coach Sandra Possing. Plus, we'll explain the psychological effects of pretending to be happy as well as the signs of smiling depression.
How to Pretend to Be Happy
To appear happier, smile, hold your head high, and keep your body language open. Try to focus on the positive rather than the negative, and hype yourself up with positive self-talk when you feel down. There’s a good chance you’ll actually boost your mood and feel happier.
Steps
The Psychology of Pretending to Be Happy
Download Article- 1Pretending to be happy can sometimes make you feel better. Depending on how serious your situation is, acting happy when you’re not might actually improve your mood. Pretending to be in a good mood can help you break out of negative thought patterns and trick your brain into believing you’re happier than you are. Plus, if you look approachable, more people are likely to engage with you, which can also get you out of a funk.[16]
- 2Act happy if your current behavior will affect your future. Sometimes, you have to get through a situation and act natural, even if you don’t feel like it. This is especially true when the way you look and act in the moment will affect your future. For example, if you’re meeting your long-term partner’s parents for the first time and aren’t feeling well, there's no harm in putting on a smile to make a good impression. The same can be said for important interviews or presentations for work or school, as well as any events that are important to someone you care about, like a wedding.[17]
- 3Don’t pretend to be happy when you’re in physical or emotional pain. Not every situation will require you to look or act your best. For example, you don’t need to act happy if you’ve just broken your leg—you’re in pain! The same is true if you’re going through a difficult emotional situation, like the loss of a sibling or grandparent. It’s okay to feel sad, and no one should expect anything different in these situations.[18]
- 4Pretending to be happy often could be a sign of "smiling depression." Everyone feels the need to pretend to be happy now and then, but if this is something you do constantly, it may be a sign of depression. Smiling depression isn’t a clinical diagnosis, but it refers to when people with depression mask their symptoms and convince others they’re happy. Consider seeing a doctor if you experience the following symptoms:[19]
- Changes in appetite: When depressed, some people tend to overeat, while others lose their appetite. Weight changes are common with any type of depression.
- Changes in sleep patterns: Some people struggle to get out of bed when they’re depressed because they’re constantly tired and want to sleep all the time. Others experience insomnia or stay awake all night and sleep during the day.
- Feelings of hopelessness: Feeling guilty, worthless, and/or hopeless are all common signs of depression, especially if those feelings are consistent.
- Loss of interest in activities: People with depression often lose all interest in things they normally enjoy, and those things no longer bring them a sense of happiness.
5Seek help if you think you might be depressed. If you identify with any of the symptoms of smiling depression, it may be time to seek out professional help. There’s no use trying to look and act happy when you don’t feel a source of happiness within you. Seeing a therapist or counselor can help you understand if you have depression and how to handle it.[20]- People with depression often try to hide their symptoms because they’re embarrassed or don’t want to feel like a burden to their loved ones. Remember that many people suffer from depression, and it’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Your loved ones want you to be truly healthy and happy; they don’t want you to pretend for their sake.
Expert Q&A
Tips
- Try to feel positive instead of being negative and grumpy. If you act like you're happy, you might start to feel better. Fake it until you make it!Thanks
- Remember that your feelings are for you and nobody else. Don't try to act happy just because you think people want you to act happy; chances are, people are more interested in connecting with you in a genuine way.Thanks
Warnings
- Some severe issues cannot just be pushed away. It’s important to confront things that bother you and work through them.Thanks
References
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/prefrontal-nudity/201208/smile-powerful-tool
- ↑ https://www.southern.edu/administration/cte/Leadership/2020ei-docs/2-BodyLanguage.pdf
- ↑ https://www.colorado.edu/law/25-quick-ways-reduce-stress
- ↑ https://www.colorado.edu/law/25-quick-ways-reduce-stress
- ↑ https://www.chcp.edu/blog/how-to-think-positive/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-empathic-misanthrope/201109/fake-it-til-you-make-it
- ↑ https://www.chcp.edu/blog/how-to-think-positive/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/what-mentally-strong-people-dont-do/201504/7-scientifically-proven-benefits-gratitude
- ↑ http://ggia.berkeley.edu/practice/finding_silver_linings#data-tab-how
- ↑ Sandra Possing. Life Coach. Expert Interview. 15 July 2020.
- ↑ https://www.cdc.gov/physicalactivity/basics/pa-health/index.htm
- ↑ Sandra Possing. Life Coach. Expert Interview. 15 July 2020.
- ↑ https://www.va.gov/WHOLEHEALTHLIBRARY/tools/healing-benefits-humor-laughter.asp
- ↑ Sandra Possing. Life Coach. Expert Interview. 15 July 2020.
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/compassion-matters/202110/how-let-people-help-you
- ↑ https://online.uwa.edu/news/benefits-of-smiling-and-laughter/
- ↑ https://online.utpb.edu/about-us/articles/communication/how-much-of-communication-is-nonverbal/
- ↑ https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/healthyliving/its-okay-to-feel-sad
- ↑ https://www.urmc.rochester.edu/eap/news-and-events/blog/june-2021/do-you-have-smiling-depression.aspx
- ↑ https://uhs.umich.edu/depression
About This Article
While it’s often better to be honest about your feelings, there are times when you have to put on a cheerful face even if you don’t feel it. One of the easiest ways to fake being happy is to smile. Practice smiling with your eyes, not just your mouth, since this will make your smile look and feel more sincere. At the same time, use open, confident body language. Keep your head up and your shoulders back, and make eye contact. Avoid closed-off postures, like folding your arms, crossing your legs, or looking down a lot. If you’re feeling really stressed, practice doing deep breathing exercises to help you relax and calm down in the moment. For example, try counting to 4 as you breathe in, then counting to 4 again as you breathe out. Practicing positive self-talk can also help steer you away from negative thought patterns when you’re feeling down. If you find yourself thinking something negative or upsetting, try gently redirecting your mind to something more positive or realistic. For example, “I’m feeling awful right now, but it won’t last forever. Once this is over, I get to go home and relax.” To learn how to get support from the people around you, read on!
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