Download ArticleDownload ArticleThis article was co-authored by Tara Vossenkemper, PhD, LPC and by How.com.vn staff writer, Hannah Madden. Dr. Tara Vossenkemper is a Licensed Professional Counselor and the Founder and Managing Director of The Counseling Hub, LLC, a group counseling practice located in Columbia, Missouri. She is also the Founder of and a Business Consultant with Tara Vossenkemper Consulting, LLC, a consulting service for therapy practice owners. With over nine years of experience, she specializes in using the Gottman Method of relationship therapy with couples on the brink of divorce, who have conflict, or who feel disconnected from one another. Dr. Vossenkemper holds a BA in Psychology from The University of Missouri, Saint Louis, an MA in Counseling from Missouri Baptist University, and a PhD in Counselor Education and Supervision from The University of Missouri, Saint Louis. She has also completed Level 3 training in the Gottman Method Couples Therapy approach and has been formally trained in both the Prepare-Enrich Premarital Couples Counseling approach and the PREP Approach for couples counseling.
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When you’re in a relationship, you probably notice the texting patterns of your partner on a daily basis. If your partner has started texting much more often than usual or they’re texting one person in particular, it could make you feel a little suspicious (and rightfully so). We’ve answered your questions about texting in a relationship so you can decide when your partner is taking it too far.
Steps
What is considered emotional cheating?
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It's forming an emotional bond outside of the relationship. It implies that you’re more than just friends with this person, even though you haven’t necessarily done anything sexual. If you’re having an emotional affair with someone, you might open up to them about your feelings or tell them things you haven’t told your partner.[7]
Emotional cheating is more than just a friendship. It’s important (and healthy!) to have friends outside of your relationship. If you or your partner have close friends, that’s totally fine. The relationship only crosses into cheating territory when it becomes a deep, emotional bond, close to a romantic relationship.[8]- For instance, you might text a friend once or twice a week and hang out with them in person a few times a month.
- In an emotional affair, you’d probably text this person every day, and you might try to hang out with them as much as possible, even if it means not seeing your partner as much.
What are the signs that your partner is cheating?
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They’re secretive about their phone. Maybe they put a password on it recently, or they get nervous when you ask to borrow their phone. If your partner is suddenly super protective over their device, there might be something on there they don’t want you to see. It’s not a surefire sign of cheating, but it is a big red flag.[9]
You can’t get ahold of them sometimes. They might say that their phone was dead or that they were in a meeting, even if you know that’s not true. If there are periods of time when you just can’t reach your partner, it could be a sign that they’re out doing something shady. This is especially true if it happens often, like a few times per week.[10]
They’re less intimate with you. This could mean emotionally or physically. If you feel like you don’t talk as much or your sex life has really slowed down, it could mean that your partner is getting their needs met elsewhere. While this isn’t always 100% true (there could be other reasons for this change), it is a red flag.[11]- Depression often makes people close up or not want to have sex as much. If this is the only sign you’re noticing, make sure you check in on your partner to see if they’re doing okay before you accuse them of cheating.
Expert Q&A
Tips
- If you think your partner is cheating, sit down and confront them about it. That way, it’s all out in the open, and you can decide what you want to do next.Thanks
References
- ↑ Tara Vossenkemper, PhD, LPC. Licensed Professional Counselor. Expert Interview. 27 October 2021.
- ↑ https://ideas.ted.com/how-tech-has-transformed-how-we-connect-and-reject-in-the-digital-age/
- ↑ https://goaskalice.columbia.edu/answered-questions/sexting-cheating
- ↑ https://ideas.ted.com/how-tech-has-transformed-how-we-connect-and-reject-in-the-digital-age/
- ↑ https://goaskalice.columbia.edu/answered-questions/sexting-cheating
- ↑ Tara Vossenkemper, PhD, LPC. Licensed Professional Counselor. Expert Interview. 27 October 2021.
- ↑ https://www.loveisrespect.org/resources/emotionally-cheating/
- ↑ https://www.loveisrespect.org/resources/emotionally-cheating/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/love-and-sex-in-the-digital-age/201812/10-signs-your-spouse-is-cheating
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