This article was reviewed by John Keegan and by How.com.vn staff writer, Sophie Burkholder, BA. John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.
This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources.
“If they wanted to, they would” has become a popular dating phrase on social media—usually applied to situationships, talking stages, or long-term relationships that are beginning to feel one-sided. But while you may be seeing “if they wanted to they would” all over your TikTok, this trendy relationship advice has also garnered a lot of criticism on social media and beyond. We’ll break it all down—from the meaning of the phrase and the issues it presents to how to actually deal with a one-sided relationship where you’re questioning if someone wants to…or ever will.
“If They Wanted to, They Would” Explained
“If they wanted to, they would” means that if someone wants to be with you, they’ll put in the effort to make it happen. While some people use this phrase as motivation to exit one-sided relationships, others see it as overly simple and dismissive of nuanced human experiences.
Steps
Expert Q&A
Video
Tips
- When it comes to dating advice (especially when it’s given by someone who doesn’t know you personally), there’s ultimately no right or wrong answer. Everyone’s relationship and personal dating experience is different and needs different things.Thanks
- There is no one-size-fits-all advice for dating. Some people really resonate with and benefit from “if they wanted to, they would.” Others may feel hurt by this advice or use it to further toxic mindsets and behaviors.Thanks
References
- ↑ https://www.xonecole.com/the-problem-with-if-he-wanted-to-he-would/particle-6
- ↑ https://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/if-he-wanted-to-he-would-is-a-myth/
- ↑ https://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/if-he-wanted-to-he-would-is-a-myth/
- ↑ https://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/if-he-wanted-to-he-would-is-a-myth/
- ↑ https://collective.world/this-youtuber-just-proved-why-if-he-wanted-to-he-would-is-kinda-b-s/
- ↑ https://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/if-he-wanted-to-he-would-is-a-myth/
- ↑ https://www.modernlovecounseling.com/are-my-expectations-too-high/
- ↑ https://health.clevelandclinic.org/one-sided-relationships
- ↑ https://www.talkspace.com/blog/one-sided-relationship/
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