Download ArticleDownload ArticleThis article was co-authored by Adam Dorsay, PsyD and by How.com.vn staff writer, Hunter Rising. Dr. Adam Dorsay is a licensed psychologist in private practice in San Jose, CA, and the co-creator of Project Reciprocity, an international program at Facebook's Headquarters, and a consultant with Digital Ocean’s Safety Team. He specializes in assisting high-achieving adults with relationship issues, stress reduction, anxiety, and attaining more happiness in their lives. In 2016 he gave a well-watched TEDx talk about men and emotions. Dr. Dorsay has a M.A. in Counseling from Santa Clara University and received his doctorate in Clinical Psychology in 2008.
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Even though crying is completely normal and natural, there may be times where you don’t want to have tears in your eyes. Luckily, there are a lot of tricks you can try to control your emotions and stop yourself from crying. This article will cover several quick and subtle ways to prevent tears, before moving onto some other strategies to help you calm down.
Here are 13 effective ways to hold back tears when you don’t want to cry.
Steps
Expert Q&A
- QuestionHow can I avoid crying when I run into the person that hurt me?
Marsha Durkin, RNMarsha Durkin is a Registered Nurse based in Waukegan, Illinois. With over 15 years of professional experience, she works both as a nurse and a Laboratory Information Specialist for Insight Hospital and Medical Center. Marsha received her Associate's Degree in Nursing from Olney Central College in 1987.
Registered NurseTry using positive self-talk to calm yourself down. Practice this at home so that you will be prepared to think positive thoughts when you see the person. It will uplift and support you when you need it most. - QuestionWhy do I cry when I'm mad?Marsha Durkin, RNMarsha Durkin is a Registered Nurse based in Waukegan, Illinois. With over 15 years of professional experience, she works both as a nurse and a Laboratory Information Specialist for Insight Hospital and Medical Center. Marsha received her Associate's Degree in Nursing from Olney Central College in 1987.
Registered NurseMany people cry when they are angry. It is one way to diffuse the situation. - QuestionHow do you avoid sounding choked up while you're holding back tears?
Community AnswerThe "lump in your throat" feeling is partly due to stress, and partly to lack of air. Pull back your shoulders, relax them, and take deep breaths. This is easier if you identify situations that might make you cry, and start preparing before the feeling overtakes you.
Tips
- Rehearse the worst-case scenario beforehand so you know how to react in the moment. That way, you’re less likely to cry.[12]Thanks
- It’s completely normal and okay to cry occasionally. A good cry can sometimes make you feel better and help develop stronger emotional bonds with other people.[13]Thanks
Tips from our Readers 
- Listen to a happy or funny song to shift your mood and mindset. Make a playlist of uplifting music you can easily access anytime. Just don't ignore underlying feelings of sadness.
- Try taking slow, deep breaths when you feel tears coming on. Inhale for 4 counts, hold for 7, exhale for 8. Focusing on breathing can distract you from overwhelming emotions.
- Step outside or into another room briefly if you feel like you're about to cry. Getting away from the stressful situation, even for a minute, can help you regain composure.
- If you can't leave, discreetly splash some cold water on your face. The temperature change can restrict blood flow and prevent puffy eyes or falling tears.
- Remind yourself this too shall pass. Situations are temporary, even if emotions feel intense in the moment. Have faith that things will get better.
- Squeeze a stress ball or fidget object in your pocket. Physically releasing tension can help you maintain control over your emotions.
References
- ↑ https://www.uofmhealth.org/health-library/uz2255
- ↑ https://www.forbes.com/sites/melodywilding/2021/03/15/how-to-stop-yourself-from-crying-at-work/?sh=5790254014f3
- ↑ https://www.forbes.com/sites/melodywilding/2021/03/15/how-to-stop-yourself-from-crying-at-work/?sh=5790254014f3
- ↑ https://www.forbes.com/sites/melodywilding/2021/03/15/how-to-stop-yourself-from-crying-at-work/?sh=5790254014f3
- ↑ https://www.self.com/story/how-to-stop-crying
- ↑ https://www.self.com/story/how-to-stop-crying
- ↑ https://www.nytimes.com/2018/10/14/well/mind/how-to-stop-yourself-from-crying.html
- ↑ https://www.self.com/story/how-to-stop-crying
- ↑ https://www.forbes.com/sites/melodywilding/2021/03/15/how-to-stop-yourself-from-crying-at-work/?sh=5790254014f3
- ↑ https://www.nytimes.com/2018/10/14/well/mind/how-to-stop-yourself-from-crying.html
- ↑ https://www.self.com/story/how-to-stop-crying
- ↑ https://www.nytimes.com/2018/10/14/well/mind/how-to-stop-yourself-from-crying.html
- ↑ https://www.pennmedicine.org/updates/blogs/health-and-wellness/2016/november/health-benefits-of-crying
About This Article
Medical Disclaimer
The content of this article is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, examination, diagnosis, or treatment. You should always contact your doctor or other qualified healthcare professional before starting, changing, or stopping any kind of health treatment.
To hold back tears, distract yourself with a physical sensation. If you feel tears coming on, try focusing on the sensation of breathing in your nose or abdomen. Alternatively, do something on your phone like scrolling through a website or watching a funny video. If that doesn’t work, try pinching yourself somewhere sensitive, like the bridge of your nose, the flesh between your fingers, or the inside of your arm. The pain should focus your attention away from whatever’s making you upset. If you can leave the room, go for a short walk to the bathroom or water cooler. The change of scenery and movement should distract you from crying. For more tips from our co-author, including how to use self-talk to stay positive when you feel like crying, read on!
Reader Success Stories
"The pinching the web in between my fingers thing mostly worked. But now I have a scar there. Long story. The pinching made no tears fall, which is great. I use this method all the time. "..." more
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