Download ArticleDownload ArticleThis article was co-authored by Leslie Bosch, PhD. Dr. Leslie Bosch is a Developmental Psychologist, National Board Certified Health and Wellness Coach, and Owner of Bosch Integrative Wellness. With over 15 years of experience, she specializes in providing stress relief coaching services to individuals and groups using a variety of scientifically proven methods for change including motivational interviewing, positive psychology, self-compassion, non-violent communication, social learning theory, and self-determination theory. Dr. Bosch received training from the Andrew Weil Center for Integrative Medicine at the University of Arizona and earned a PhD in Human Development and Family Studies from The University of Arizona. She is also a member of the National Board of Health and Wellness Coaching Association. Dr. Bosch has published many papers and been featured in the media numerous times.
There are 8 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources.
This article has been viewed 321,083 times.
Although crying is a very healthy thing to do, you don’t always want others to know that you’ve been crying. You fear you might be judged for being weak, or you simply don’t want people to ask you what is wrong. Whatever the reason, there are steps you can take to make yourself presentable to the public, and issues to address should you be going through difficult times.
Steps
Stop crying. You may have to wait a few minutes before you stop crying. You will eventually stop. It is better to let yourself cry than force yourself to stop. Pent-up emotions are being expressed when you cry which allows the body to release tension and recover.- Try to bring yourself back into the present moment and remind yourself that you're safe right now, this can help you to settle down.
- Try using your five sense to get back into the present moment. What do you see within the room? Can you think about things that you might smell, if you smell anything, you can notice if you taste anything? By using your senses you can calm down and recover from crying.
- If you are in a time crunch and you need to stop crying, tell yourself, “You need to stop crying and find the calm inside you.” Repeat this until you stop.
- You can also purposely startle yourself. This will create a quick shift in your emotions and will help you stop. Simply saying, “Oh!” might do the trick.
- Redirect your emotions with a pinch to your arm. This can cause enough of a distraction to switch off your crying response.
- Once you have stopped crying, distract your thoughts away from the reason for crying. If you just received news that someone passed away, focus on what you need to do that day.
- Crying is related to many positive events as well as sad or maddening events. Allow yourself to cry until you stop.
Splash water on your face. When you cry, facial nerves are stimulated, which causes the skin to increase in temperature. Cool water splashed on your face will lessen the heat. Let the water run over your hands and wrists and splash your face a few times. Use a towel or whatever is available to pat your face dry.Advertisement
Blow your nose with a tissue, toilet paper, or paper towel. You want to clear your nose of mucus. Once you've blown your nose, look in a mirror to make sure your nose is clean.
Breathe. Take a few cleansing breaths to release the residual emotions and fill your lungs. Crying can constrict your breathing, and slow breathing can restore normal function. Your body will benefit from the additional oxygen.- Avoid rapid breathing that can turn into hyperventilating, which can trigger a panic attack.[1]
Attend to the redness in your eyes, nose, and face. When a person cries, blood rushes to the face, eyes, and nose areas. Once you stop crying, the skin will eventually return to its normal color.- Use a cold compress and place it over your eyes, nose, and face. This will speed up the calming process.
- If you are at work or elsewhere and a cold compress is not available, wet paper towels and spin them in the air to cool them. This will do the trick.
- Fan your face using a piece of paper or whatever you can find to allow air to rush over your face. This will cool your face, which will reduce the redness.
Remove and reapply your makeup. If you were wearing makeup when you cried, use a tissue to gently pat your face dry. Remove any residual or smudged makeup with a makeup remover, then reapply what you removed.
Use eye drops to remove the redness from your eyes. If you don’t have any eye drops, you will simply need to put your sunglasses on to hide your eyes.
Check yourself in the mirror. If you want to make sure you are presentable, the mirror will tell you. If your hair looks good, your face looks good, and your clothes are situated like you want, then you are ready.
Tell yourself you’re okay. You might need to give yourself a little boost to rise to the occasion of facing the crowd. Try some positive self-talk and say, “Okay, you’ve got this. You are going to hold it together. We are moving on.” [2]
Focus on something positive. The feelings of whatever it was that made you cry might return to upset you again. If you start to feel emotional, stop yourself and substitute a positive thought.[3] Pick a subject matter that is not closely related to the reason you are crying. The goal is to refocus your attention away from the issue at hand.- Tell yourself, “You are going to think about something positive like how much you love going to the beach. Yes, that is what you are focusing on now.”
- Think about a project you are working on. Make a mental list of the steps you need to take and when you will get them accomplished. Imagine how happy you will be when it is complete. This will carry you out of the emotional darkness you might be feeling.
Act like you are happy until it passes. You may not be an actor, but your body doesn’t know that. The power of suggestion can be very effective.[4] As you enter the crowd, perk up, smile, and tell yourself, “You are feeling good and you are happy.” Send yourself on your way filled with positive thoughts.
Show yourself some compassion. You were crying for some reason. If you have gone through a difficult time, you need to allow yourself to feel the emotions that made you cry. You also need to determine if the frequency and duration of your crying are excessive.- Was this an isolated incident or something that is happening often?
- If you find yourself crying uncontrollably for an extended period of time, you need to talk to someone about getting help so you can learn how to control crying in a healthy manner.
- Be kind to yourself during this time. Forcing yourself to stop crying is difficult to manage. Suppressing your feelings can cause negative results.
Communicate your concerns. If the reason for your emotional upheaval is due to a relationship, work, or family conflict, you must communicate your concerns. To resolve any conflict, you need to find a way to be heard.- Write down your concerns. This will help you focus on the problem.
- Next, write possible solutions to these problems.
- Practice saying your concerns out loud so you will be calm, prepared, and focused for the conversation.[5]
- Communicate with the person to express your concerns. Start by saying, “I’ve been thinking a lot about what has been going on and I want to resolve this issue. Will you hear me out?” This will provide a lead-in to addressing your concerns.
Seek help if you are struggling. It takes bravery and courage to ask for help. If you are struggling with school life, family life, or life in general, contact a trusted source to talk about getting help. There are resources available to you either at school or from a private provider such as a counselor or doctor. Talking with someone will help you sort out your struggles and develop an effective approach to handle anything.[6]- If you cannot stop crying and find yourself crying for most of the day, you should call a counselor or a doctor to seek help. If you have suffered a great loss, crying can be considered normal for a period of time. Grief counseling will help.[7]
- Art therapy is also available and can be extremely beneficial.[8]
Expert Q&A
Video
Tips
- Always bring tissue to an event that may elicit a crying response. For example, weddings, funerals, graduations, and award ceremonies.Thanks
- Some people cry a lot and some people don’t cry very often. Everyone is different.Thanks
- A good cry will result in feelings of relief and eventual calm.Thanks
Warnings
- Society can send the wrong message that crying is negative.Thanks
- Holding back from crying when your body wants to can be harmful.Thanks
- Just because people don’t cry a lot doesn’t mean they don’t have feelings.Thanks
References
- ↑ https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/9445-diaphragmatic-breathing
- ↑ https://positivepsychology.com/positive-self-talk/
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/lib/the-power-of-positive-thinking#1
- ↑ https://www.psychologicalscience.org/news/releases/the-power-of-suggestion-what-we-expect-influences-our-behavior-for-better-or-worse.html
- ↑ https://www.researchgate.net/publication/233479300_Get_'Real'_Does_Practicing_Speeches_Before_an_Audience_Improve_Performance
- ↑ https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/4062-chronic-illness
- ↑ https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/6406-emotional-stress-warning-signs-management-when-to-get-help
- ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1071468/
About This Article
Medical Disclaimer
The content of this article is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, examination, diagnosis, or treatment. You should always contact your doctor or other qualified healthcare professional before starting, changing, or stopping any kind of health treatment.
To hide that you’ve been crying, head to a restroom and splash cool water on your face to reduce the redness. Then, blow your nose to get rid of any mucus and stop you from sniffling when you talk. If you’ve smudged any makeup, clean it from your face and reapply it so it looks normal. Once you’ve cleaned yourself up, take some deep breaths to calm yourself. Think about something you love to put a smile back on your face. When you leave the restroom, try to act normal so you don’t draw any attention to yourself. For more tips, including how to process the negative emotions that made you cry, read on!
Reader Success Stories
"I used to wake up with puffy and red eyes. And later, I learned it was crying while I was sleeping. I don't know how, though. I started splashing cold water on my face every morning and it helped a bunch. Thanks!"..." more
Did this article help you?
⚠️ Disclaimer:
Content from Wiki How English language website. Text is available under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike License; additional terms may apply.
Wiki How does not encourage the violation of any laws, and cannot be responsible for any violations of such laws, should you link to this domain, or use, reproduce, or republish the information contained herein.
- - A few of these subjects are frequently censored by educational, governmental, corporate, parental and other filtering schemes.
- - Some articles may contain names, images, artworks or descriptions of events that some cultures restrict access to
- - Please note: Wiki How does not give you opinion about the law, or advice about medical. If you need specific advice (for example, medical, legal, financial or risk management), please seek a professional who is licensed or knowledgeable in that area.
- - Readers should not judge the importance of topics based on their coverage on Wiki How, nor think a topic is important just because it is the subject of a Wiki article.
