This article was co-authored by Annie Lin, MBA. Annie Lin is the founder of New York Life Coaching, a life and career coaching service based in Manhattan. Her holistic approach, combining elements from both Eastern and Western wisdom traditions, has made her a highly sought-after personal coach. Annie’s work has been featured in Elle Magazine, NBC News, New York Magazine, and BBC World News. She holds an MBA degree from Oxford Brookes University. Annie is also the founder of the New York Life Coaching Institute which offers a comprehensive life coach certification program. Learn more: https://newyorklifecoaching.com
There are 9 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
How.com.vn marks an article as reader-approved once it receives enough positive feedback. This article received 38 testimonials and 100% of readers who voted found it helpful, earning it our reader-approved status.
This article has been viewed 484,990 times.
Are you timid but you wish you could speak out more? Do you often feel overlooked in groups and want to make your voice heard? Is your participation grade in class suffering because of your shyness? It's definitely not your fault that you were born a bit shyer than the average person, but it's something that you can overcome with effort. With a fresh mindset and a little bit of acting, you too can be confident and assertive when interacting with others.
Steps
Be Charismatic with this Expert Series
Expert Advice
To feel more confident when you're around others:
- Breathe deeply.
- Make eye contact when you're talking to people.
- Smile.
- Pay attention to your posture—stand tall with your shoulders back.
- Think of conversation as a chance to connect, rather than a performance.
- Be curious. Ask questions, listen actively to the person's answers, and comment on those answers.
- Brush up on current affairs or practice telling interesting stories about yourself, like trips you've been on or books you've read.
Expert Q&A
- QuestionHow do I stop being shy and insecure?Annie Lin, MBAAnnie Lin is the founder of New York Life Coaching, a life and career coaching service based in Manhattan. Her holistic approach, combining elements from both Eastern and Western wisdom traditions, has made her a highly sought-after personal coach. Annie’s work has been featured in Elle Magazine, NBC News, New York Magazine, and BBC World News. She holds an MBA degree from Oxford Brookes University. Annie is also the founder of the New York Life Coaching Institute which offers a comprehensive life coach certification program. Learn more: https://newyorklifecoaching.com
Life & Career CoachTry meditating each day to ground yourself. As you meditate, imagine you are a big tree, extending your roots down into the earth. This helps calm your nervous system, and it allows you to listen deeply to yourself. - QuestionHow can I not to be shy when talking to a girl?Trudi Griffin, LPC, MSTrudi Griffin is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Wisconsin specializing in Addictions and Mental Health. She provides therapy to people who struggle with addictions, mental health, and trauma in community health settings and private practice. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.
Professional CounselorAdjust your state of mind. Approach a girl as if she is a friend and someone you already know instead of someone to be nervous around. - QuestionWhy would a person be shy?Trudi Griffin, LPC, MSTrudi Griffin is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Wisconsin specializing in Addictions and Mental Health. She provides therapy to people who struggle with addictions, mental health, and trauma in community health settings and private practice. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.
Professional CounselorThere are many causes of shyness including negative relationship experiences, social anxiety, or low self-esteem.
Tips
References
- ↑ http://thinksimplenow.com/happiness/20-ways-to-attack-shyness/
- ↑ http://thinksimplenow.com/happiness/20-ways-to-attack-shyness/
- ↑ https://books.google.com/books?id=ETzciRvm5osC&pg=PA146&lpg=PA146&dq=don%27t+expect+perfection+shy&source=bl&ots=cfJCq8ytOs&sig=m7CMH4VyPekTbMc92Vh4cqicJFs&hl=en&sa=X&ei=xAw3VYmjMYqWyQSd04CgBg&ved=0CB8Q6AEwAA#v=onepage&q=don't%20expect%20perfection%20shy&f=false
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201501/6-ways-get-more-comfortable-others-and-yourself
- ↑ http://www.mnn.com/lifestyle/arts-culture/stories/10-tips-for-overcoming-shyness
- ↑ http://www.mnn.com/lifestyle/arts-culture/stories/10-tips-for-overcoming-shyness
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/science-and-sensibility/201212/50-ways-overcome-shyness-and-anxiety-social-gatherings
- ↑ http://teenshealth.org/teen/your_mind/problems/shy_tips.html
- ↑ http://www.cnn.com/2014/06/03/living/how-to-overcome-shyness-relate-real-simple/
- ↑ http://www.cnn.com/2014/06/03/living/how-to-overcome-shyness-relate-real-simple/
- ↑ http://thinksimplenow.com/happiness/20-ways-to-attack-shyness/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/science-and-sensibility/201212/50-ways-overcome-shyness-and-anxiety-social-gatherings
- ↑ http://thinksimplenow.com/happiness/20-ways-to-attack-shyness/
- ↑ http://thinksimplenow.com/happiness/20-ways-to-attack-shyness/
- ↑ http://www.nytimes.com/2014/09/21/fashion/amy-cuddy-takes-a-stand-TED-talk.html?_r=0
- ↑ http://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are?language=en
- ↑ http://thinksimplenow.com/happiness/20-ways-to-attack-shyness/
About This Article
To go from shy to confident, practice interacting with strangers, even if it's a little awkward at first, so you can get better at starting conversations. Also, when conversing with others, act confident even if you don't feel that way at first since acting bolder will help you feel that way over time. When you do go out to a party or meeting, do something you enjoy right before the event, like listening to music or reading a book, to help you relax. Once you’re out, start small by making eye contact during conversations. To learn how to adopt power poses to make you feel more confident, keep reading!
Reader Success Stories
- "I haven't yet broken my shell of shyness, but I know that this article will help me, since it is so intricate. I'm confident that I can go from a shy introvert to a more social introvert. Usually I talk to barely anyone because I just don't participate enough in social interactions. (Or at least I feel inadequate about my social performance in general.) So soon, I hope to be better at all aspects of social interaction."..." more
Did this article help you?
⚠️ Disclaimer:
Content from Wiki How English language website. Text is available under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike License; additional terms may apply.
Wiki How does not encourage the violation of any laws, and cannot be responsible for any violations of such laws, should you link to this domain, or use, reproduce, or republish the information contained herein.
- - A few of these subjects are frequently censored by educational, governmental, corporate, parental and other filtering schemes.
- - Some articles may contain names, images, artworks or descriptions of events that some cultures restrict access to
- - Please note: Wiki How does not give you opinion about the law, or advice about medical. If you need specific advice (for example, medical, legal, financial or risk management), please seek a professional who is licensed or knowledgeable in that area.
- - Readers should not judge the importance of topics based on their coverage on Wiki How, nor think a topic is important just because it is the subject of a Wiki article.