This article was written by Casey Lee and by How.com.vn staff writer, Dev Murphy, MA. Casey Lee is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Founder of Rooted Hearts Counseling LLC. With over a decade of experience, he specializes in facilitating growth and healing through co-creating safe and secure connections with couples. Casey holds an MA in Clinical Counseling from Columbia International University and is certified in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) which he uses with all his couples. He is also a Level 2 Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapist (AEDP) Therapist and a Level 1 trained Sensorimotor Psychotherapy Therapist. Casey is a member of the International Center for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy, the National Board of Certified Counselors, and an affiliate member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy.
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Does something about your friend, partner, or family member feel off? Are you constantly questioning yourself when you’re around them? You’ve heard the term "narcissist" before, but they can’t possibly be narcissistic when they’re so shy and introverted...right? Actually, covert narcissists have the same traits as overt narcissists, only watered down. Check out our list of weird things covert narcissists do to get their way (and get tips on how to deal with them). But keep in mind that just because someone has narcissistic traits, it doesn’t necessarily mean they have clinical Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), and only a licensed therapist can diagnose NPD.[1]
This article is based on an interview with our licensed professional counselor, Casey Lee, founder of Rooted Hearts Counseling LLC. Check out the full interview here.
Things You Should Know
- Narcissism is an umbrella term, and covert narcissists tend to be subtle in their actions, be more introverted, and have a superiority complex.
- A covert narcissist may make themselves appear grander, more powerful, and more confident to mask their insecurities.
- Looking good on the outside is often a covert narcissist’s main priority, even if they are passive-aggressive and emotionally abusive behind closed doors.
Steps
Expert Q&A
Video
Tips
- Remember that not everyone with narcissistic tendencies is a clinical narcissist, and that not everyone with clinical NPD is abusive.[16]Thanks
- Keep in mind that many people don’t even realize they’re being narcissistic. With hard work, therapy, and/or medication, covert narcissistic behavior can be corrected, so don’t be afraid to speak up.[17]Thanks
- Consider keeping a journal and documenting your friend or partner’s behavior. This way, you can feel grounded and validated in what you know over time.[18]Thanks
References
- ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/narcissistic-personality-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20366662
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/making-the-whole-beautiful/202304/understanding-covert-narcissism
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/ambigamy/202002/how-humiliate-absolute-narcissist
- ↑ https://health.clevelandclinic.org/covert-narcissism/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/here-there-and-everywhere/202112/how-handle-covert-narcissist-during-family-gatherings
- ↑ https://health.clevelandclinic.org/covert-narcissism/
- ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/narcissistic-personality-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20366662
- ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/narcissistic-personality-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20366662
- ↑ https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/aug/01/not-all-narcissists-are-grandiose-the-vulnerable-type-can-be-just-as-dangerous
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/making-the-whole-beautiful/202304/understanding-covert-narcissism
- ↑ https://health.clevelandclinic.org/covert-narcissism/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/guide-better-relationships/202004/narcissism-entitlement-hypocrisy-and-flattening-the-curve
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/guide-better-relationships/202004/narcissism-entitlement-hypocrisy-and-flattening-the-curve
- ↑ https://health.clevelandclinic.org/covert-narcissism/
- ↑ https://www.simplypsychology.org/covert-narcissism.html
- ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/narcissistic-personality-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20366662
- ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/narcissistic-personality-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20366662
- ↑ https://health.clevelandclinic.org/covert-narcissism/
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