Download ArticleDownload ArticleThis article was co-authored by Alessandra Conti. Alessandra Conti is a Celebrity Matchmaker, Dating Coach, and Co-Founder of Matchmakers In The City, a personal Matchmaking firm headquartered in Los Angeles, California. Alessandra is a Matchmaker behind MTV's, “Are You The One”, and is the go-to Celebrity Matchmaker for shows like NBC's Access Hollywood, and CBS's Face The Truth. Her dating and relationship advice has been featured on Forbes, Elite Daily, The New Yorker, The LA Times, and Fox News. For nearly 10 years, Alessandra has worked with clients ranging from celebrities to young professionals and leads a team of matchmakers responsible for hundreds of marriages through their knowledge of interpersonal relationships, body language, and lie detection. She holds a BA in Communications from American University and is a Matchmaking Institute Certified Matchmaker (CMM).
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It can be hard to show a guy that you like him. It's tricky to find a balance between coming on too strong and being so subtle that the guy will have absolutely no clue that you have a thing for him. If you want to show a guy that you like him, you have to take an interest in him by getting to know him, and then drop some hints that you see him in a romantic light. If you want to know how to show a guy that you like him without looking desperate or sending mixed signals, just follow these steps.
Things You Should Know
- Drop hints by dressing nicely, using affectionate body language, complimenting him, flirting subtly, and offering gentle touches here and there.
- Ask him if he likes anyone. You can also imply that you’d like a boyfriend, or just tell him that you like him outright.
- Get to know him as a friend and bond over your common interests. Also, get to know his friends, offer help wherever possible, and ask for his number!
Steps
Pay attention to your appearance. Let him know that you like him by making an effort to look nice whenever you're around him. You should still be yourself, but take extra care with your hair and makeup and outfits, so he can start to notice you. You don't have to wear a tight dress and high heels if you're at a baseball game with him, but let him know that you care about your looks when you're around him..[1]- Don't be afraid to be a little sexy. If you're comfortable with your body, show it off.
- If you're not comfortable with a lot of makeup, then you shouldn't try to look like someone else just to impress him.
- Try wearing a little lip gloss, and applying it in front of him. This will make him pay more attention to your lips.
Show him how you feel with your body language. Your body language can let the guy know that you think of him as more than a friend. When you're talking to him, turn your body toward him and make eye contact to show that he means a lot to you.[2] Don't be distracted by turning your body away, looking around, or checking your phone.[3]- Reader Poll: We asked 216 How.com.vn readers and 66% of them agreed that the best way to subtly get a guy's attention is by making eye contact and smiling. [Take Poll]
Using Your Body Language
Play with your hair. Twirl a strand of your hair or run your hands through it slowly and subtly to show your interest.
Draw his attention to your mouth. Smile to show him you like being with him, or get more flirtatious by touching or biting your lips.
Face him and make eye contact. Turn your shoulders towards him or cross your legs in his direction to show that he has your attention. Look right at him when he's talking—letting your gaze stray around the room will make it seem like you're not interested.
Glance at him and back. Look in his eyes, smile slightly, then glance away. This subtle flirting technique is a playful way of showing that you're shy but interested.Advertisement
Flirt with him. The more you flirt with the guy, the more he'll be sure that you like him. You can start off by flirting subtly and work your way up to being more obvious.[4]Easy, Subtle Ways to Flirt
Speak softly when you talk to him. Using a low voice will force him to lean in to hear you, bringing you closer in a natural way.
Laugh. When he makes a joke, smirk and laugh, but not too hard. Guys love a challenge and he'll work twice as hard to make you laugh even more.
Tease him playfully. Use light sarcasm and smile slightly while you tease him to show that you're joking. Say things like:
“I heard the test is supposed to be hard, but I'm sure you stayed up all night studying, right?”
“Your food smells so good. I know you want to share with me…”
“I saw you playing basketball yesterday. It looked fun, but aren't you supposed to get the ball in the basket?”
Break the touch barrier. Once you get closer to the guy, don't be afraid to gently hit him on the arm or shoulder if he's said something funny.You can make physical contact if you're teasing each other, or even give him a big hug when you meet up,if it feels right. Breaking the touch barrier will help him see that you want to get closer to him.[5]- Just make sure that he wants to touch you too and that you're not making him uncomfortable.
- If you're getting close with the guy and just came back from a run together or some other form of physical activity, offer to give him a massage. If he likes you, he'll say yes, and he'll start to see how good you can make him feel.
Compliment him. It can be tricky to compliment a guy without making it too obvious that you like him. You don't have to say, "Wow, you're so hot" to let a guy know that you like him through some subtle compliments. If he got a new haircut or is wearing an obviously new shirt, just tell him that he looks nice. If he's really good at a skill, whether it's math or making a great sandwich, let him know he's good at it.[6]Playful Compliments
Mix together sweet and playful compliments. A few teasing, sarcastic compliments will keep him on his toes, but soften it by mixing in a sweet, genuine comments as well.
Sweet Compliments:
“You're hilarious, you know that?”
“I love how you always know how to make me feel better.”
“You did a really great job on your presentation yesterday.”
Teasing Compliments:
“I like your shirt. It almost makes you look cool… Almost!”
“Your sense of humor is great, because if I ever need a corny joke to tell, I know to come straight to you.”
“I can't believe you got the highest score on the test. Was everybody else asleep or something?”
Ask if he likes anyone. This is not the most subtle way to show that you like him, but it'll do the trick. Just casually ask if he likes anyone, or even talk about what he's looking for in a relationship. Let him open up and see if he tells you he likes anyone or what he's looking for. Just be careful -- let him see that you're asking for your own motives, not because you want to be a great buddy and talk about his love life.
Tell him you're open to having a boyfriend. Just casually mention that you're looking to date someone and that you look forward to having a boyfriend. Don't make it sound like you're desperate to date anyone around you -- show him that you've put a lot of thought into it. You can be more obvious and even talk about the qualities you're looking for in a boyfriend, and list some of the things that make him special.
Get him to ask you out. You can try to get the guy to ask you out as a way to show him that you like him. Just casually talk about your upcoming plans or mention what your schedule looks like, and wait for him to ask if you want to do something when he knows you'll be free.Dropping Hints for a Date
Make it clear that you're bored or don't have any plans. Say, “I'm not sure what I'm doing tomorrow night, but I want to do something fun,” or “Ugh, I'm so bored. All my friends are busy this weekend.”
Use your common interests. Mention an activity you know you both like, like an upcoming sports game, happy hour, or school event. You can hint to him that you'd both really like it, or that you want to go. Say, “The baseball game this weekend is supposed to be really good. I heard their pitcher is unhittable.” or “I can't believe that band is in town this week. I wish I could go!”
How.com.vn Quiz: Do I Like Him?
Make sure that he likes you. Though there's no sure fire way to know if the guy returns your feelings, there are a variety of signs that can let you know how he really feels about you. It's best to make sure that there's at least a chance that he likes you before you move on and tell him how you feel about him.How to Know if He Likes You
Listen for clues in what he says. See if he initiates conversation with you, teases you gently, or compliments you. Remember that if he's shy, he might talk to you less or get nervous around you, which are also signs that he might be interested.
See if he tries to initiate physical contact. A guy who likes you might touch your arm to get your attention or look for other excuses to touch you by putting his arm around you or giving you a hug. If he's more tactile around you than other people, it could be a sign that he's interested.
Notice how often he wants to be around you. Does he invite you to group activities, join a group as soon as you come over, or always ask you what your plans are? Wanting to hang out together is a big sign that he might like you!
Pay attention to his appearance. See if he smiles more around you or looks at you when you're not talking to each other. Try to pick up on subtle body language as well—if he messes with his hair or stands taller, he might be trying to attract your attention.
Tell him that you like him. If showing him that you like him just isn't doing the trick, then it may be time to tell the guy how you feel about him. You should pick a time and place where you can both be alone and free of stress, and then keep cool as you tell him that you have feelings for him. Don't put a lot of pressure on him or yourself and wait for a response.How to Tell Him the Truth
Stay relaxed and don't rush. Keep your tone casual and take a few deep breaths if you need to. Think about what you want to say and stay calm while you talk.
Be prepared for his response. This may take him by surprise, so give him some time to take it in. He might be happy, flattered, shocked, or unsure of what to say. Be patient with him and let him know that you'll accept it no matter how he feels.
Example conversation starter:
“So I've been thinking about how much I like spending time with you. You're a really cool person, and lately I've started to realize that I like you as more than a friend. I don't want to pressure you into anything, but I our friendship is so important to me and I wanted to be honest with you.”
React appropriately. If the guy likes you, then you can hug him or just show him how happy you are, and begin to talk about going on a date and moving your relationship forward. If he doesn't return your feelings, that's OK too -- just show him how mature you are by not getting too upset, or even getting angry, because he doesn't share your feelings.- If it turns out he likes you, then you can even laugh about all the ways that you tried to show him that you liked him.
- If he doesn't like you, don't despair. Be proud of yourself for working up the courage to share your feelings and move on.
Take the friend approach. If you want to make your guy friend date you, then you've already set a solid foundation for your relationship. But if you're not really friends with the guy yet, then befriending him can help you show him that you like him. If you don't know the guy at all and he barely knows who you are, it'll be tougher to show him your true feelings. Also, getting to know him as a friend will help you see if you're really compatible, and will give you a chance to show him how awesome you are in a low-pressure setting.[7]- Start by being friendly. You shouldn't ask him to hang out or reveal your most intimate thoughts to him right away. Just take it easy and start building a fun and friendly rapport with him.
- Ease into the friendship. Don't overwhelm the guy by always being around. Just slowly start increasing the amount of time you spend with each other.
- Don't fall into the Friend Zone. You should try to be his friend, but don't develop such a deep friendship that it'll get weird if you try to take things to a romantic level.
Use your common interests as a starting point. If you want to get to know the guy, you can start talking about all of the things you have in common, from your families to your favorite sports teams. If you don't have so much in common, you can learn from each other and may find yourself picking up on some of his interests. And if you want to pretend to care a little more about his favorite sports team than you really do, then that's okay too.[8]- Most guys love talking about sports. If you both like the same sports team or sport, you can talk about it; if not, you can read up on his favorite team and casually drop some facts.
- Use musicas a common bond. See if you have any of the same favorite bands -- if not, ask if he has any recommendations for you. If you've developed your friendship enough, you can even make him a CD of your favorite music to grab his attention.
- Talk about your families. Keep it light and talk about your siblings or any pets you have or had growing up.
- See if you like the same type of food. If he finds out that you love sushi too, he'll be more likely to ask you to go to the new sushi bar in your neighborhood.
- Most guys love talking about
Laugh at the same things. Find a common thing that the two of you can laugh about, whether it's the fact that one of your mutual friends never matches, or the creepy poster in the back of your math class. Whatever reason you both have for laughing, you'll develop a deeper bond with the guy and will show him how much fun you can be.[9]- If you find something that the two of you can laugh about, then this will create a little inside joke and will make you grow closer.
- You can even find the same pet peeve to laugh about. If there's an annoying teacher you both can't stand, or if you both hate a certain pop music star, you can have a good laugh over this together.
Get to know his friends. The way to a man's heart is through the respect of his friends. If you get his friends to love you, then he'll be much more likely to love you too. Hanging out and being nice to his friends will show him that you're a cool person who can get along with anyone and it will also let him see that you're showing more of an interest in him. If you didn't care about him, then you wouldn't care about his friends.[10]- You should get to know his friends, but make sure you're not "always around," especially during dude-centric events.
Offer friendly favors. Once you get to know him a bit, you can offer to give him a ride or to pick up lunch, if he looks like he needs a favor. If you can't do that, offer to carry something for him. Though this will be a small gesture of friendship, he'll also begin to see that you really care about him. Just make sure that he's offering to help you out from time to time too, so the relationship isn't all one-sided.- If he misses class, offer to take notes for him or to drop them off.
- If you're picking up coffee on the way to meet him, ask if he wants something too.
- Just remember to not overdo it. You're not his partner yet, so you shouldn't offer to do his laundry or grocery shopping.
Ask for his number. If you've been friends for a while and are hanging out more, then it'll be natural to ask for his number.Play it cool and not ask for it like you're asking him to go out on a date.Instead, just ask him for his number so you can text him about when everyone is meeting at the bar, send him details to your party, or whatever. If he's a nice guy, he won't say no or think it's weird.- Getting his number will increase the amount of contact you have with him. Now you can start chatting through text and can take your relationship to a new level.
- Once you do get his number, make sure that you're not the only one calling and texting him.
Expert Q&A
- QuestionWhat's a sign that a guy is interested in me?
Alessandra ContiAlessandra Conti is a Celebrity Matchmaker, Dating Coach, and Co-Founder of Matchmakers In The City, a personal Matchmaking firm headquartered in Los Angeles, California. Alessandra is a Matchmaker behind MTV's, “Are You The One”, and is the go-to Celebrity Matchmaker for shows like NBC's Access Hollywood, and CBS's Face The Truth. Her dating and relationship advice has been featured on Forbes, Elite Daily, The New Yorker, The LA Times, and Fox News. For nearly 10 years, Alessandra has worked with clients ranging from celebrities to young professionals and leads a team of matchmakers responsible for hundreds of marriages through their knowledge of interpersonal relationships, body language, and lie detection. She holds a BA in Communications from American University and is a Matchmaking Institute Certified Matchmaker (CMM).
Celebrity Matchmaker & Dating CoachIf he interacts on a lot of your social media posts and keeps in frequent contact with you, there's a chance he's interested. - QuestionHow should I let a guy know I like him if I’m shy?
How.com.vn Staff EditorThis answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.
Staff AnswerHow.com.vn Staff EditorStaff AnswerIf you’re shy, you could try dropping subtle hints and see if he picks up on it. You might also find it helpful to write it down in a note or send him a text if you’re too nervous to tell him how you feel in person. - QuestionHow do I avoid scaring him off?How.com.vn Staff EditorThis answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.
Staff AnswerHow.com.vn Staff EditorStaff AnswerThere’s always a risk that someone you like will shy away if they don’t return your feelings. But you may be able to improve your chances by taking it slow and giving him a chance to get to know you first. Wait until you feel comfortable together and you’ve seen some hints that he likes you back before you tell him how you feel.
Reader Videos
Tips
- You are not required to have the same interests and hobbies as your guy; however, do be supportive of the things that make him happy.Thanks
- Just because you've let him know you like him doesn't mean you've given him permission to put the moves on you faster than you'd prefer. Don't let any guy use the argument that you led him on.Thanks
- Be friendly and kind to everyone, not just the boy you like. Being a kind, considerate person overall will leave your guy with a better impression of you than he'd have if it looks like you're just putting on an act for him.Thanks
References
- ↑ https://www.scienceofpeople.com/fashion-psychology/
- ↑ Alessandra Conti. Celebrity Matchmaker & Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 23 April 2021.
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201706/11-major-flirting-techniques-women
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/flirting
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/finding-new-home/201911/touch-or-not-touch
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/blog/why-compliments-are-powerful/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/200611/friendship-the-laws-attraction
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201709/does-similarity-lead-attraction-and-compatibility
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/mental-health/laughter-is-the-best-medicine.htm
About This Article
To show a guy that you like him, start by taking extra care with your hair and clothes if you know you'll be around him so that he'll notice you. When you're chatting with him, drop subtle clues to show that you're into him, like twirling your hair, leaning toward him, and making eye contact. Speak softly and in a lower tone of voice so that he has to lean closer to you and hopefully catch the scent of your perfume or shampoo. You can also try making physical contact by standing closer to him or gently touching or hitting him on the arm when he says something funny. For more tips on flirting with a guy that you like, read on!
Reader Success Stories
"The part about befriending his friends was helpful. He's a really shy boy and he's super nice we're both in middle school. He's also friends with my friends. He's nice shy cute. He's the total package. I've gotten to know him a bit too and I'm ready to tell him how I feel."..." more
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