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This article was co-authored by Connell Barrett and by How.com.vn staff writer, Dev Murphy, MA. Connell Barrett is a Relationship Expert and the Founder and Executive Coach of Dating Transformation in New York City. Connell has over five years of experience as an international coach who helps men connect with women by unlocking their best, true, most confident selves. He is the author of the Amazon bestseller “Dating Sucks but You Don’t,” and has appeared on Good Morning America, the "Today" show, Access Hollywood, and in Best Life, Cosmopolitan, and The Oprah Magazine. In 2019 he was named Datezie.com's “New York City’s Best Male Dating Coach."
This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources.
This article has been viewed 648,866 times.
Awkward alert! Your crush knows you like him—now what do you do? Having a crush is nerve-wracking enough when he doesn’t know how you feel, but when he’s figured it out, it can be difficult to know how to act around him, what to say to him, and, most importantly, if you should try to pursue a relationship with him…or just try to get things back to normal again. There’s no right answer, but we can help you decide what you want to do. Keep reading for tips for dealing with your crush when he knows you like him.
Things You Should Know
- Keep interacting with your crush as you normally would. The situation doesn’t have to be awkward if you don’t let it!
- Consider telling him directly how you feel, and maybe asking him out on a date. Let him know you’d like to stay friends, regardless of his response.
- If he says yes, congrats! If he says no, take the rejection gracefully. Take some time away from him if you need to, but try to resume a normal, casual friendship if you can.
Steps
Continue talking to him about "everyday" things. When you find out that your crush knows you like him, don't let this turn your relationship into something awkward and unpleasant. Try to continue talking about the things you normally would. For example, if you have classes together at school, don't hesitate to talk to him about your assignments. Keeping a casual attitude will make your interactions much easier.- Keep in mind that he may not know that you know that he knows (what a mouthful!). If you keep your cool, you can buy a little extra time for yourself to come to grips with the situation.
Try not to fixate on the situation. When you're worried about your crush knowing you like him, constantly thinking about the situation is one of the worst things you can do. Try to keep your mind off of him by staying busy with your day-to-day activities.[1] You can even avoid him for a day or two if it gives you time to calm down, although you won't want to do this for too long if you eventually plan on making a move.- It can help if you don't think of the situation as a "problem." It's not necessarily a bad thing that he knows you like him. After all, would you be angry or upset if you knew someone liked you? Probably not.
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Try not to get jealous if he talks to other people. Having a crush on someone can make even the most rational, level-headed people insecure and jealous. Try not to get too invested in who your crush is talking to. The odds are that he's not playing hard-to-get or doing it to hurt your feelings — he's just having friendly conversations with the people around him like he usually does.- He's also probably not talking about you, so don't fall prey to paranoid thoughts like, "He's telling everyone about how I like him!" Unless he's really immature, he probably wouldn't even consider doing that.
- Try to join his group of friends. Hanging out with your crush and a group of friends is an excellent way to get to know each other better. Soon, you can try going for coffee or a movie alone together, first as friends, and then eventually maybe as something more.
Remember that he, too, is probably nervous. Your crush is just a normal, everyday human being like you. Many of the same things that make you nervous probably make him nervous. Since he knows you like him, he probably gets a few butterflies in his stomach when he talks to you. Keeping this in mind can make it much easier to deal with him — how scary can talking to someone be when you know he's just as nervous as you?
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Decide whether you will admit your crush. Sooner or later, you need to commit to either talking to your crush about the way you feel or staying silent. Being undecided about a crush is a terrible feeling. Making a decision can be scary, but it gives you closure. You get to either take things to the next level with your crush or start moving on, but either way, you don't have to worry about it anymore.- Being open about your crush can feel like taking a huge weight off your chest. It also lets you avoid nagging feelings of regret. In other words, it’ll keep you from wondering, "What would have happened if I had talked to my crush?" in a few weeks.
- Explain to him that you don't want to ruin your friendship and you wouldn't like it to be awkward. He’ll likely accept that, even if he doesn’t return your feelings, and try to keep things as normal as they were before.
- If you don't want to open up about your crush or you have good reason to think it's a bad idea (for instance, if he’s already dating someone), don’t feel like you need to.
If you want to come clean to your crush, seize the day. If you decide that you're going to open up to your crush, don't waste time waiting for the "perfect moment." It probably will never come. In the meantime, your crush may lose interest or even start to think that you don't like him anymore. Your best chances for romance will come if you seize the opportunities you are given.[2]- If your crush is someone you know from school, you might arrange to meet him after school in a secluded spot. It doesn't have to be 100% deserted — just reasonably private. A park bench, for instance, will usually work fine.
Keep your conversation casual. Opening up to your crush doesn't have to be a huge, dramatic production. In fact, if you make a big deal about it, you may even scare your crush off. Instead, keep the conversation low-pressure and casual. This will make it much easier for him to give you an honest answer.- You don't even have to outright say that you have a crush (especially since he already knows). Instead, simply invite him to spend one-on-one time together. For example, you might start the conversation with, "Hey, Spanish class has been fun. Do you want to get some lunch and go to the fair with me this weekend? I hear the enchiladas they have there are amazing."
Try not to be put off by his shyness. Even if you keep things very low-pressure, your crush might get a little shy.[3] Don't take silence or awkwardness as a sign that he doesn't like you. These things just show that he is having a hard time getting his words out. Give him plenty of time to take in what you're saying and encourage him to come to a conclusion when he's ready.- Avoid pressuring him into giving you an answer right away if he’s not ready to. Even if he suspects or knows you like him before you talk to him about it, he may need a day or two to process your conversation. Consider saying something like, "Take your time — you don't have to tell me today."
Accept his decision (even if it's "no"). Respect your crush's ability to come to his own decisions, even if you don't like the one he makes. If he says no, accept the rejection gracefully: just casually say, "Oh, OK," and make your exit. Don't pester him with repeated questions or try to get him to change his mind. On the other hand, if he does accept your offer, congratulations!- After a "no," you may want to limit the amount of time you spend with this person for a couple days. You don't have to outright ignore him, but if your feelings are hurt or if it's hard to stop thinking about it, give yourself some distance for a little while until your emotions die down.[4]
- That said, try not to dwell too long, or it may make it harder to get over your feelings. There are other fish in the sea, we promise.
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Expert Q&A
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- QuestionWhat should I do if my crush knows I like him?
Cher GopmanCher Gopman is the Founder of NYC Wingwoman LLC, a date coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Cher is a Certified Life Coach, a former psychiatric nurse, and her work has been featured on Inside Edition, Fox, ABC, VH1, and The New York Post.
Dating CoachShowing confidence is the most attractive trait you have. Show your crush that you're confident with who you are and then build on that. Become that fun, confident person with whom everyone wants to hang out. Your crush is more likely to be attracted to you this way. - QuestionI told my best friend who my crush was, and now she's trying to make us interact. After I broke my foot, she was telling him to go keep me company, and she was "introducing" us earlier on. What do I do?
Community AnswerChances are that your friend is just trying to make you two interact because she's rooting for you and wants you and your crush to be together. She likely doesn't mean to upset you (and may not even realize this bothers you), so if you're not comfortable with it, find a private moment and talk to her about it using "I" statements. Calmly say something to her like, "I feel [emotion] when you try to make [your crush's name] hang out with me, because [reason why it makes you feel that way]. Could you please not do that?" - QuestionMy crush found out that I like him, but he likes someone else. He knows that I like him but ignores it and acts like it is all normal. What do I do?
Community AnswerIt sounds like he's trying to act normally and not make your friendship awkward, so it's a good idea to assess your own feelings. Are you okay with just being friends, or are your feelings too intense for that? If you don't feel like you can be friends without being sad or jealous, you might want to get some distance from him so you can stop liking him. If you feel like you can just be friends, though, then it's okay to act like you did before he found out you like him. It might feel weird or embarrassing at first, but remember, he feels awkward too, even if he's not showing it!
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Tips
Tips from our Readers 
The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of How.com.vn readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on How.com.vn, please submit it in the field below.
- Try not to make a big deal about it. Stay calm and wait a few days for everything to calm down. Try not to talk to him about the issue because it can make the tension worse. Just be cool and be yourself. You can always pretend that it was just a rumor.
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Expert Interview
Thanks for reading our article! If you’d like to learn more about relationships, check out our in-depth interview with Connell Barrett.
References
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/automatic-you/201706/when-distraction-is-good-thing
- ↑ https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/jul/10/crush-feel-relevant-information-compliment-fancying
- ↑ https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/shyness.html?ref=search
- ↑ https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/rejection.html?ref=search
About This Article
Dating Coach
This article was co-authored by Connell Barrett and by How.com.vn staff writer, Dev Murphy, MA. Connell Barrett is a Relationship Expert and the Founder and Executive Coach of Dating Transformation in New York City. Connell has over five years of experience as an international coach who helps men connect with women by unlocking their best, true, most confident selves. He is the author of the Amazon bestseller “Dating Sucks but You Don’t,” and has appeared on Good Morning America, the "Today" show, Access Hollywood, and in Best Life, Cosmopolitan, and The Oprah Magazine. In 2019 he was named Datezie.com's “New York City’s Best Male Dating Coach." This article has been viewed 648,866 times.
Co-authors: 79
Updated: April 11, 2024
Views: 648,866
Categories: Crushes on Boys
Article SummaryX
It’s natural to feel a little awkward when your crush knows you like him, but keep talking to him like you normally would to keep things casual. Don’t worry if he seems quiet or awkward, since he’s probably nervous too. If you want to make a move on your crush, ask him to hang out after school or at the weekend. For example, say something like, “Hey, do you want to get some food and go to the fair with me this weekend? I hear the enchiladas they have are amazing.” Don’t be offended if he says no, since you can still be friends with him and you’ll find a new crush in no time! For more tips, including how to manage feelings of jealousy if your crush talks to other people, read on!
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"I've liked a boy for a while now and there were rumors that he liked me, but I never thought about it. I decided to tell him how I felt because, after all, you only live once, and have to make the most of it. I gave him a note which said how I felt, and my best friend gave it to him. I was so nervous, I could not tell you! I had my book in my face and didn't look at him. Later on, he told my best friend that he liked me, too. I smile at him occasionally, but I just get so nervous. "..." more
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