This article was written by Jay Reid, LPCC and by How.com.vn staff writer, Cheyenne Main. Jay Reid is a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor (LPCC) in private practice in San Francisco, CA. He specializes in helping clients who have survived a narcissistic parent or partner. Treatment focuses upon helping clients identify and challenge self-diminishing beliefs as a result of narcissistic abuse. Jay holds a BA in Psychology from the University of Pennsylvania and an MS in Clinical Psychology from Penn State University.
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If you’re trapped in a cycle of narcissistic abuse, it can be difficult to escape. Those with narcissistic tendencies may not have Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), which can only be diagnosed by a professional, but they may act self-important, arrogant, and unempathetic. It’s important to note that not all of those with NPD are abusive. However, some narcissists might rope others into a cycle of abuse that involves idealizing the person, devaluing them, and discarding them, repeating the cycle until the victim is no longer useful. Read on to learn the stages of the cycle, how to escape it if you're in this situation, and how to cope afterward.
This article is based on an interview with our licensed professional clinical counselor, Jay Reid, LPCC. Check out the full interview here.
Things You Should Know
- The stages of narcissistic abuse include idealization, devaluation, repetition of the first two stages, and discarding.
- The narcissistic abuser might “hoover” you after the relationship ends, trying to “suck” you back into their toxic cycle.
- To break free from the cycle, set firm boundaries, seek help from a friend or therapist, and try to resist soothing the narcissist’s emotions.
Steps
Expert Q&A
Tips
References
- ↑ https://health.clevelandclinic.org/love-bombing/
- ↑ https://www.simplypsychology.org/narcissistic-love-bombing-cycle.html
- ↑ https://cptsdfoundation.org/2020/11/20/why-the-narcissistic-abuse-cycle-feels-like-cptsd-comfort/
- ↑ https://www.simplypsychology.org/narcissistic-love-bombing-cycle.html
- ↑ https://www.simplypsychology.org/narcissistic-hoovering-signs-how-to-respond.html
- ↑ https://adaa.org/learn-from-us/from-the-experts/blog-posts/consumer/women-narcissistic-parents
- ↑ https://www.womenslaw.org/about-abuse/forms-abuse/emotional-and-psychological-abuse#6%20options
- ↑ https://www.womenslaw.org/about-abuse/forms-abuse/emotional-and-psychological-abuse#6%20options
- ↑ https://www.ncjfcj.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/NCJFCJ_SRL_HowToGatherTechEvidence_Final.pdf
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