This article was reviewed by Seth Hall and by How.com.vn staff writer, Sophie Burkholder, BA. Seth T. Hall (ICF ACC, CLC, and MNLP) is a Certified Life Coach and Founder of Transformational Solutions, a Los Angeles-based life-coaching company that helps people achieve their toughest goals, find their own voice, and think outside the box. He has been a life coach for over 10 years, specializing in personal development, relationships, career and finance, and wellness. He has helped his clients break the negative cycles in their lives and replace them with a positive, proactive mindset. Seth believes that everyone has the potential to live a fulfilling and rewarding life, and works passionately to help them reach their full potential. With a deep understanding of how our minds work and the power of positive thinking, he encourages his clients to find their unique paths in life and find success on their own terms. He is a certified master practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming, a featured co-author for WikiHow, and co-author of "The Mountain Method”, “The Happy Tiger”, and “The V.I.S.I.O.N.S. Program”.
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Watching your child grow into an adult can be fulfilling, but also challenging when you see their negative behaviors affect their lives and relationships. If you’re a parent of a selfish adult child, you may be at a loss for how to help your child as they seem to disregard your feelings and the feelings of others. You’re not alone, and there are many resources to aid parents through the difficult process of dealing with selfish adult children—including this guide on recognizing, addressing, and understanding the roots of selfish and disrespectful behavior in adult children.
Things You Should Know
- To deal with a selfish adult child, set boundaries. Use an “I feel” statement or neutral phrase like “This is what I need” to calmly express how their actions hurt you.
- Encourage your adult child to take responsibility for their actions and behavior. Ask them to put themselves in other people’s shoes and empathize with their feelings.
- Communicate calmly and respectfully with your adult child, even if they lash out. Remain open to your child’s perspective and apologize for any way you hurt them.
Steps
Expert Q&A
Tips
- In extreme cases, you may have to make the difficult decision to cut a selfish adult child out of your life for your own well-being. Before taking this action, it’s worth it to discuss the situation with a therapist or counselor who can assess or validate if that’s the right option for you.[17]Thanks
- For adult children reading this, you may also be struggling in a relationship with toxic or childish parents. Seek out ways to deal with gaslighting parents and improve behavior on both sides of your relationship.Thanks
References
- ↑ https://www.choosingtherapy.com/how-to-deal-with-a-disrespectful-grown-child/
- ↑ https://www.mindpath.com/resource/35-phrases-to-set-boundaries-firmly-and-fairly/
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/relationships/boundaries-with-your-adult-children
- ↑ https://www.choosingtherapy.com/how-to-deal-with-a-disrespectful-grown-child/
- ↑ https://archive.org/details/10daystolessdefi0000bern/page/95/mode/1up?q=heated+argument
- ↑ https://www.choosingtherapy.com/how-to-deal-with-a-disrespectful-grown-child/
- ↑ https://www.choosingtherapy.com/how-to-deal-with-a-disrespectful-grown-child/
- ↑ https://www2.gov.bc.ca/assets/gov/health/about-bc-s-health-care-system/child-day-care/guiding_childrens_behaviour_april_2017.pdf
- ↑ https://www.choosingtherapy.com/how-to-deal-with-a-disrespectful-grown-child/
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/health/reacting-to-selfish-people
- ↑ https://open.maricopa.edu/devpsych/chapter/chapter-9-early-adulthood/
- ↑ https://www.cnbc.com/2023/02/18/child-psychologist-shares-signs-of-highly-spoiled-kids-and-how-parents-can-raise-kind-grateful-kids.html
- ↑ https://www.cnbc.com/2023/08/24/psychology-expert-shares-traits-of-highly-selfish-entitled-people-and-how-to-deal-with-them.html
- ↑ https://www.forbes.com/sites/markcperna/2021/11/30/successful-adulting-the-skills-gap-no-one-is-talking-about/?sh=568204fa3069
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/health/what-is-the-difference-between-supporting-and-enabling#understanding-enabling
- ↑ https://www.choosingtherapy.com/how-to-deal-with-a-disrespectful-grown-child/
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/health/reacting-to-selfish-people
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