This article was co-authored by Erika Kaplan and by How.com.vn staff writer, Emily Liu. Erika Kaplan is a Dating Coach and Matchmaker for Three Day Rule, an exclusive matchmaking company across nine cities in the United States. With over six years of experience, Erika specializes in helping singles find quality matches through date coaching and premium matchmaking services. Erika graduated from Penn State with a Bachelor’s degree in Public Relations. She worked for Rolling Stone, Us Weekly, and Men’s Journal before leaving publishing to pursue her passion for connecting people. Erika has been featured on Lifetime, the Philadelphia Inquirer, and CBS as well as in Thrillist, Elite Daily, Men’s Health, Fast Company, and Refinery29.
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You’ve just received a text from someone interested in you—they want to go on a date! Unfortunately, the spark isn’t there for you. Rejecting someone politely and respectfully, especially over text, can be awkward and difficult to do, but we’ve got some helpful tips for you to keep in mind.
How do you reject someone nicely over text without hurting them?
Don't blame the other person or point out their flaws; instead, emphasize your perspective. For instance, you could text, “I think you're cool, but I'm looking for something else right now” or “I see you as a friend, I'm sorry.” Stay away from statements like “You might not be the best match for me.”
Steps
Expert Q&A
Tips
- Don’t be cold or cruel—rejection can be really difficult to handle. Try to be firm so that your feelings are clear, but strive to be as kind and gentle as possible at the same time.Thanks
- If the other person is being persistent, put your foot down and let them know clearly where things stand. If they keep bothering you, ignore them or block their number. You should only have to say it once.Thanks
References
- ↑ Erika Kaplan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 1 October 2020.
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/prisons-and-pathos/202105/how-and-why-say-no
- ↑ Erika Kaplan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 1 October 2020.
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/health/socially-awkward
- ↑ Erika Kaplan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 1 October 2020.
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/blog/building-healthy-boundaries-14-different-ways-to-say-no
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/evidence-based-living/202109/the-psychology-compliments-nice-word-goes-long-way
- ↑ https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/break-up.html
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mind-matters-from-menninger/202111/the-power-of-saying-no
- ↑ Erika Kaplan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 1 October 2020.
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/psychiatry-the-people/202208/how-people-deal-being-in-the-friend-zone
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/health/knowing-when-to-say-goodbye-how-to-break-up-with-a-friend
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/cui-bono/201211/are-i-statements-better-you-statements
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-forward/201511/why-ghosting-hurts-so-much
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