How to Practice Random Acts of Kindness

Random acts of kindness are deliberate attempts to brighten another person's day by doing something thoughtful, nice, and caring. While the possibilities for the things you can do to be kind are almost endless, the most important thing is to expect nothing in return. Complimenting people, sharing a smile, paying it forward, and expressing thanks are great ways to get started with practicing random acts of kindness.

Method 1

Method 1 of 2:

Brightening Someone’s Day

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1
Give out compliments generously. Instead of staring at the floor when you’re stuck in an awkward silence, find something you like about the other person and compliment them on it. Not only will it make them feel good, it just might kick off a conversation with a new friend.^{[1]XExpert SourceTami Claytor
Etiquette CoachExpert Interview. 29 September 2020.} For example:
- “Wow, you look great today!”
- “I love your new haircut.”
- “Where did you get that sweater? It’s so pretty!”
- Share compliments that you overheard with the person they’re about.^{[2]XResearch source}
- Remind the people in your life that you're grateful for them.^{[3]XExpert SourceKim Chronister, PsyD
  Clinical PsychologistExpert Interview. 28 July 2021.}
2
Share a smile. Smiles are contagious! Whenever you’re talking to someone, whether they are a stranger or a friend, show that you're happy to be with them in that moment.^{[4]XExpert SourceTami Claytor
Etiquette CoachExpert Interview. 29 September 2020.}
- If you meet someone who’s sad or grumpy, smile anyway. Ask them if they're having a hard day, listen to their problems, offer to help in any way you can, and wish them better luck in the future. Share contact information if there is something you can do to help them down the road.
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3
Visit or send postcards to sick kids in the hospital. Even if you don’t know them, kids will love having someone new to talk to. Bring a small gift, like a card or stuffed animal, to show them that people are thinking of them.
- The elderly can also get lonely. Visit them and listen to their stories.
Volunteer for a cause you care about. Find a homeless shelter in your area, and offer your help with meals and transportation. If you love animals, look for an animal shelter or rescue. Help out by cleaning cages and taking the dogs for walks.
Pay for the meals of the people sitting next to you at a restaurant. Cover the coffee for the people in the car behind you at the drive-thru. Feed the parking meter for the car next to yours to keep them from getting a ticket. Pay for tickets for the family in line behind you at the zoo or movies.
It doesn’t have to just be for elderly folks or pregnant people; everyone will appreciate a seat in a packed bus or train.^{[5]XResearch source}
Practice self-care and love. Being kind to yourself is just as important as being kind to other people. Take care of yourself by getting rid of your negative filter, taking a break to read a good book or take a bath, and complimenting yourself. Support yourself with positive affirmation, and be patient when things don’t go exactly as planned. This will put you in a better mindset to help others.

Method 2

Method 2 of 2:

Expressing Gratitude

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Do a chore for a family member before they can get to it. If your partner normally cooks dinner, do it for them that day in the exact same way that they would do it. It will show them that you appreciate how much they do for you.
- You can also wash their car, weed the yard, do the dishes for a week with no questions asked, or make them breakfast in bed.
2
Thank the people who normally don’t receive a lot of thanks. We tend to forget about the more “invisible” people in our society who keep our lives running smoothly. Thank the person who delivers your mail, the barista who prepared your coffee, and the janitor who cleans the building where you work. Write a note or say “thank you” genuinely in person.^{[6]XExpert SourceTami Claytor
Etiquette CoachExpert Interview. 29 September 2020.}^{[7]XExpert SourceKim Chronister, PsyD
Clinical PsychologistExpert Interview. 28 July 2021.}
- Send or bring treats like donuts or pastries to your local police station, emergency room, or fire department. You can order them from a bakery, or even better, make them yourself! Include a thank you card with your gift.
- A lot of people don't get much positive reinforcement in their day-to-day life, so kind words really help them feel seen.^{[8]XExpert SourceKim Chronister, PsyD
  Clinical PsychologistExpert Interview. 28 July 2021.}
Waiters and waitresses often rely on tips for a large part of their income. Make someone’s day by leaving a 50-100% tip.^{[9]XResearch source}
4
Pick up trash on the side of the road and throw it away. Normally city employees or private clean-up agencies do that, so make their job easier by cleaning up any litter that you see. Make sure you stop your car safely on the side of the road if you were driving.
- If you take a walk, take a plastic grocery bag with you so you can collect any trash you see.
5
Expect nothing in return. The greatest acts of kindness are those freely given because you care about another person and want them to be happy. Kindness is its own reward, so it will improve your sense of well-being and happiness no matter what you do.^{[10]XResearch source}
- If you pick up trash on the side of the road, don’t call the city waste management office and brag about how much work you’ve saved them.
- If you do a chore for a family member, don’t hold it over their head by saying “You owe me one.”
- If you give up your seat on public transportation, don’t look around at other people expecting them to give up their seat for you.

Expert Q&A

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Question
How do you show that you care in a conversation?
Kim Chronister, PsyD
Clinical Psychologist
Dr. Kim Chronister is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist. She specializes in helping people struggling with substance abuse, relationship problems, eating disorders, and personality disorders. Dr. Chronister has contributed to and appeared on Access Hollywood, Investigation Discovery, and NBC News. She is the author of “Peak Mindset” and “FitMentality.” She holds an MA in Clinical Psychology and a Doctor of Psychology (PsyD) from Alliant International University.
Kim Chronister, PsyD
Clinical Psychologist
Expert Answer
Ask people plenty of open-ended questions—people love to talk about their lives and feel heard. You might ask about their pets or activities that they really enjoy.
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How do you show kindness to strangers?
Kim Chronister, PsyD
Clinical Psychologist
Dr. Kim Chronister is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist. She specializes in helping people struggling with substance abuse, relationship problems, eating disorders, and personality disorders. Dr. Chronister has contributed to and appeared on Access Hollywood, Investigation Discovery, and NBC News. She is the author of “Peak Mindset” and “FitMentality.” She holds an MA in Clinical Psychology and a Doctor of Psychology (PsyD) from Alliant International University.
Kim Chronister, PsyD
Clinical Psychologist
Expert Answer
Pay close attention to your non-verbals by consciously making adjustments to how you think, react, and present yourself. This way, you'll give off a warm or at least neutral impression.
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The phrase “random acts of kindness” is a shortened form of “practice random acts of kindness and senseless acts of beauty,” which comes from a 1993 book of the same title by Anne Herbert and Paloma Pavel.^{[11]XResearch source} It is a reversal of “random acts of violence and senseless acts of cruelty”, a common newsspeak phrase in the 1980s.^{[12]XResearch source}
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“National Random Acts of Kindness Day” is a national holiday celebrated in the U.S. on February 17th.^{[13]XResearch source}
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Even the smallest things can be random acts of kindness, like smiling at someone or saying hi to a stranger.
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