How to Look Sexy if You Are Big

Sometimes society and the media tell women that they have to be skinny to be beautiful. This is completely untrue. Big girls and women can have a radiant sexiness, too. To look your sexiest, you’ll need to love your body, dress it well, and bring out your most confident self.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Having Sexy Style

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1
Embrace your curves. Don’t try to hide your tummy or drown your body in a sea of fabric. Wear clothes that are fitted to your shape.^{[1]XExpert SourceElle Monus
Image ConsultantExpert Interview. 7 September 2021.} Don’t be afraid to wear a bodycon dress or a form-fitting top.^{[2]XExpert SourceElle Monus
Image ConsultantExpert Interview. 7 September 2021.} Love your curves and show them off in your sexiest outfits. Take time to research your coloring, face shape, and body shape, so you can pick out styles and colors that bring out your natural beauty.^{[3]XExpert SourceElle Monus
Image ConsultantExpert Interview. 7 September 2021.} However, a fit and flare dress and a pair of heels will always be flattering.^{[4]XResearch source}
- If you have an inverted triangle body shape, focus on creating volume on your bottom third to balance your body with A-line skirts and wide leg pants.^{[5]XExpert SourceElle Monus
  Image ConsultantExpert Interview. 7 September 2021.}
- If you have an hourglass body shape, make sure your fabric flows over any trouble spots instead of clinging to your body.^{[6]XExpert SourceElle Monus
  Image ConsultantExpert Interview. 7 September 2021.}
- If you have an apple body shape, try empire waist tops and jeggings to prevent the excess fabric on the hips and thighs.^{[7]XExpert SourceElle Monus
  Image ConsultantExpert Interview. 7 September 2021.}
- If you have a rectangle body shape, you can wear almost anything! Experiment with a classic shift dress, as it can help you create a gorgeous retro-inspired look.^{[8]XExpert SourceElle Monus
  Image ConsultantExpert Interview. 7 September 2021.}
- If you have a pear body shape, you'll do well with a solid bottom and a bold top.^{[9]XExpert SourceElle Monus
  Image ConsultantExpert Interview. 7 September 2021.}
Lots of plus-size models have been rocking crop tops lately; try a crop top that shows off a layer of skin a few inches above your belly paired with a pair of high-waisted jeans or a high-waisted skirt. You should show off whatever body part you love about yourself, whether it’s your stomach, your butt, or your legs. You’ll feel and look sexiest when you’re showing the skin you love.^{[10]XResearch source}
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Tailor your clothes. If you find a piece of clothing you love but it doesn’t fit quite perfectly, bring it to a tailor to have it fitted specifically for you. You can get some garments tailored for under $20. Sometimes it’s good to buy a few pieces of clothing that fit really well rather than having many pieces of clothing that don’t look quite right.^{[11]XResearch source}
- It’s not your fault for not “fitting” into clothes; the garment should fit you!
Go for a dramatic smoky eye with black eyeliner, dark eyeshadow, and mascara. Fill in or accentuate dark, bold eyebrows. Unless the bold, red lip makes you feel sexier, opt for a toned-down, subtle pink lip, where only the bottom lip is lined. Use blush from your cheekbone to your temple to define your face even more.^{[12]XResearch source}
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Accessorize subtly. Don’t feel the need to over-accessorize. Some stylists recommend going for a bold print instead of a statement necklace. Try wearing a subtle pair of earrings or a few thin rings. You could also wear a simple pendant if you are wearing a simple top with a high neckline.^{[13]XResearch source}
- Of course, you can use accessories wisely to draw attention to where you want. For example, if you have a pear-shaped body, use a statement necklace to draw attention upwards, creating the illusion of balance.^{[14]XExpert SourceElle Monus
  Image ConsultantExpert Interview. 7 September 2021.}

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Being Confident

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Good posture helps you look and feel more confident. Pull your shoulders back, let your back be straight and tall, and be proud of who you are. Good posture can even up your testosterone, making you even more confident. You’ll feel more empowered, and you will act like it, too!^{[15]XResearch source}
Picture a moment when you were your best self: captivating, confident, and sexy. Take a few minutes to breathe deeply and envision this moment. Think about how future situations, such as a party you plan to attend or a job interview you will have soon, could also involve your best self. You’ll feel and be more confident.^{[16]XResearch source}
When you look at yourself in the morning, find a few things you like about yourself. Consciously think about those things. You will focus more on the good parts of yourself than the parts of your body you’re not as happy about.^{[17]XResearch source}
Society often criticizes big women for unfair reasons. They erroneously think that big women can’t be healthy, happy, or stylish. Understand that these comments are hurtful but not true. Find support from other plus-size women in your life to offset these negative comments with positivity and compliments.^{[18]XResearch source}
Too often, the media show us only models and celebrities who are thin. Remember that most models are airbrushed, and their photos are retouched before they’re printed in magazines or put on the Internet. Follow some plus-size fashionistas on Instagram to get more style inspiration and see beautiful, plus-size women feeling beautiful in their skin. Look at body positivity campaigns, such as Selfridges’ “Incredible Machines” campaign^{[19]XResearch source} or Dove’s Self Esteem Project^{[20]XResearch source}

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Taking Care of Your Body

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Eat healthy, yummy foods. You don’t have to live off of kale and quinoa, but you should nourish your body. Make a plan to eat healthy and try to stick to it. Here are some tips for making sure you have a balanced diet:
- Get about a third of your calories from proteins, like lean meat, nuts, and beans.
- Eat fruits and vegetables with every meal.
- Stay hydrated. Drink water as much as you can.
- Try not to drink too much alcohol.
- Eat what you want, but eat it all in moderation. You can have some ice cream, but keep the portion size relatively small.^{[21]XResearch source}
Even if you don’t want to lose weight, you will feel sexy and healthy if you commit to exercising a few times per week. Exercising is great for toning your body. You could try yoga, pilates, strength training, a spin class, a jog, or even a brisk walk If you can exercise for 20 to 30 minutes at once, you are in better shape than an unfit thin person. Just because you are plus-size does not mean that you can’t be in shape. Find ways to make exercise fun: walks with loved ones, backyard sports, playing in the pool, and hiking.
EXPERT TIP
Laila Ajani
Fitness Trainer
Laila Ajani is a Fitness Trainer and founder of Push Personal Fitness, a personal training organization based in the San Francisco Bay Area. With over 10 years as a trainer and exercise specialist, Laila has expertise in competitive athletics (gymnastics, powerlifting, and tennis), personal training, distance running, and Olympic lifting. Laila is certified by the National Strength & Conditioning Association (NSCA), USA Powerlifting (USAPL), and she is a Corrective Exercise Specialist (CES).
Laila Ajani
Fitness Trainer
Women shouldn't worry that weight training will drastically change their bodies. Female clients sometimes worry that weight training will make their bodies "bulky", or less feminine. However, due to biological factors, it's hard for females to put on the same amount of muscle mass as males. It's unlikely you'll achieve a bulky look unless you're overdoing it at the gym.
3
Sleep well. Good sleep can help to keep your memory sharp, make you more creative, help you live longer, prevent depression, and keep you at a healthy weight.^{[22]XResearch source} Make sure that you’re sleeping well every night. Here are some tips to help you sleep better:
- Take melatonin before you go to bed. Melatonin supplements naturally help you fall and stay asleep faster.
- Turn off all of your screens (cell phone included) an hour before you go to bed.
- Do not do anything in your bed except for sleep and have sex. If you’re watching TV or doing a crossword puzzle, move away from your bed.
- Don’t drink caffeine in the afternoon.^{[23]XResearch source}

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What if I want to look sexy for a boy who doesn't like me?
Community Answer
Focus on being sexy for yourself first. When you feel sexy, you'll look and feel more confident, which is a turn-on for many guys. If he still doesn't like you after that, don't take it personally and move on!
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What if nothing fits me right?
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I have the same problem. Either it’s too big or too small. You can try to get it tailored or just keep trying different brands, and eventually you’ll find one with the right fit.
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Why do you need to be healthy?
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To function well, be your best, and live fully. If you're not healthy, you will feel worse, look worse, have less energy, and your mind will not work as well as it could. And if you get really ill, you will have to waste a lot of time suffering and recovering from the illness instead of living your life.
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Tips

Go shopping for clothes with a friend who will give you an honest opinion.
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Don't think of things you don't like about yourself. Think about the things you do like and if you show that you're happy then nothing else matters.
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Appreciate yourself! Don’t worry about your looks, just remember you're always beautiful regardless of what other people say.
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Warnings

Remember that true beauty and sexiness comes from within, not from your appearance. Try not to fixate too much on outer beauty when inner beauty matters more.
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Before starting any form of exercise program, consult your doctor. This goes double if you have chronic health problems.
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