How to Increase Sex Drive in Men

Although popular culture tells us that cisgender men are obsessed with sex, about 20% have almost no interest in it, and about 30% of cisgender women say that they have a higher sex drive than their significant other.^{[1]XResearch source} The cause can be psychological, physical, or medical. Sex drive can be increased in a variety of ways.

Method 1

Method 1 of 4:

Trying Something New with Your Partner

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1
Enjoy erotica together. Watching adult themed movies or tv with your partner can be a good way to get both parties aroused. You can experiment with pornography if you're both comfortable with that. Read erotic literature together or try pornographic magazines. Watching sex scenes or reading about sexual activities exposes both parties to potential new fantasies that they can peruse together and can help with arousal or provide stimulus.
- Watching porn habitually by yourself can desensitize you to sex, reducing sex drive.^{[2]XResearch source}
2
Discuss fantasies. Ask your partner if there is anything they want to try, but haven't. If they says there is nothing, ask if there's something they have never done but haven't particularly fantasized about. A simple starting point can be being intimate in a room in your home other than your bedroom, if this is practical.
- If you are afraid to raise the subject directly, begin with indirect hints. "What did you think of the scene in that movie we watched? Would you ever try that?"
- Be cautious when discussing fantasies. it can be hurtful to suggest that you are thinking of something other than your partner when you're being intimate. Emphasize that you want to experience something new with the person you're with. Sharing fantasies can build trust, be prepared to talk about things you'd like to try too. If you're not comfortable talking about your fantasies, it's not fair to expect your partner to be. ^{[3]XResearch source}
3
Focus on the whole body. Try foreplay to increase arousal. Not only can this get you in the mood, it will also decrease performance anxiety. If you are able to satisfy your significant other without obtaining an erection, you will be less anxious about your libido.
- One study found that the preferred erogenous zones for cisgender men in order of rank are: penis, lips, scrotum, inner thigh, nape of neck, nipples, perineum, pubic hairline, back of the neck, and ears.^{[4]XResearch source}
One study has found that people who stare at a photo of their loved one for 30 seconds or longer, naturally begin producing the chemical dopamine. Dopamine is a chemical in the brain that is closely associated with libido.^{[5]XResearch source}
5
Give massages. Massages can be a great bonding experience and can prime your significant other for an erotic experience. Establish a sensuous atmosphere to improve the experience. ^{[6]XResearch source}
- Try turning off the lights and lighting some candles. Play some music. Keep some oils near you for lubrication during the massage.
- Cut your fingernails before the massage to avoid scratching up your partner.
6
Use smell. A study has shown that scents from perfumes and candles can help increase sex drive. Because a variety of factors were involved, it is difficult to say definitively which were most effective. However preliminary results suggest some scents that might be more effective than others.
- The study suggested that effective smell profiles included pumpkin pie, licorice, donuts, lavender, oriental spice, cola, and various mixtures of these scents.^{[7]XResearch source}

Method 2

Method 2 of 4:

Trying Natural Remedies

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Most people experience a spike in sex drive after undergoing an adrenaline rush. Try setting some time aside some time to be together after a vigorous activity, like riding a motorcycle or surfing. If that sounds like too much for you, there is always the date night classic: watching a horror movie together.^{[8]XResearch source}
2
Exercise regularly. Working out activates testosterone production and low testosterone is one of the more significant causes of a low sex drive. It can also help to treat some of the major physical causes for low sex drive.^{[9]XExpert SourceTracy Zollinger Dipl. OM, L.Ac., FABORM
Licensed Herbalist & AcupuncturistExpert Interview. 6 October 2020.}
- For optimal testosterone benefit from weightlifting, work major muscle groups with compound exercises, like bench presses, squats, or barbell curls. After an hour your body will begin producing cortisol which counteracts testosterone. Therefore, you should keep your routines under 60 minutes.
- Cardio will not only increase testosterone but also help with some of the conditions which make it physiologically difficult to get an erection, including high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and obesity.^{[10]XResearch source}
- Yoga is sometimes believed to be particularly effective at increasing sex drive. Proponents argue that it has all the benefits of the other routines, but also increases blood flow to the pelvic area and treats anxiety.
3
Eat foods that may increase libido. Oysters, chocolate, figs, chili peppers, tomatoes, broccoli, pomegranate juice, avocado and eggs have all been rumored to help put you in the mood. The science is inconclusive, but it doesn't hurt to try.^{[11]XResearch source} Look for foods that high in potassium, such as almonds, bananas, garlic, and onions.^{[12]XExpert SourceRitu Thakur, MA
Natural Health Care ProfessionalExpert Interview. 25 July 2019.}
- Conversely, some foods are thought to decrease sex drive, including processed baked goods, dairy products, and soy.
Drugs, especially cocaine and ecstasy, can reduce sex drive. So can the overuse of alcohol. When you do drink, try to stick to red wine. Studies suggests that moderate red wine consumption increases sex drive, possibly by improving blood flow.^{[13]XResearch source}

Method 3

Method 3 of 4:

Seeking Therapy

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Many people experience a low sex drive due to stress, depression, anxiety, relationship problems, and exhaustion.^{[14]XResearch source} Physical issues obtaining an erection can also create anxiety, which will compound the problem. Consider carefully whether you might have any latent emotional issues that are bothering you.
2
Talk to a sex therapist. Sex therapy has been shown to improve sexual problems in about two out of three cases. A sex therapist should be able to recognize the origins of your problem and provide effective guidance in treating it.^{[15]XResearch source}
- Include your partner, if you have one. It is important that both of you are working toward the same goal and are aware of how to effectively reach it.
3
Manage your stress. Stress can significantly reduce your sex drive. Work and children can also take time away from developing a healthy relationship. Make time to relax and enjoy your partner.^{[16]XExpert SourceTracy Zollinger Dipl. OM, L.Ac., FABORM
Licensed Herbalist & AcupuncturistExpert Interview. 6 October 2020.}
- You don't have to make love at night, when you are likely to be most tired and stressed. Trying finding time throughout the day, possibly in the morning or while showering.
- Even if you don't have time to get away to bed with your partner, you do have time to kiss, hold hands, or massage their shoulders. Intersperse physical interaction throughout the day, whenever you are around your partner, to help keep them in the mood.^{[17]XResearch source}

Method 4

Method 4 of 4:

Medicine and Supplements

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1
Talk to a doctor. This can be the hardest step. Professionals indicate that men are typically afraid to talk to doctors about their health problems. They shouldn't be; low libido is, according to Doron Stember, MD, "a medical condition."
- While low libido or erectile dysfunction (ED) might seem like a personal issue, they are medical conditions. Both can be symptoms of serious underlying health issues and failing to disclose them could hinder the diagnosis of any illnesses you might suffer from.
- Remember that this condition is neither rare nor embarrassing. Twenty percent of all men have almost no interest in sex and half of all males over 40 experience some form of erectile dysfunction.
- When talking to your doctor indicate whether you still have desire but cannot get an erection or if you do not have any desire. If you are uncomfortable lingering on the issue, mention it casually, possibly as part of a list of ailments. You might say something like, "I haven't been as interested in having sex as I usually am." This may be enough to open the discussion with your doctor.
2
Have a complete physical. There might be a medical problem interfering with your sex drive. Explain your symptoms or lack of interest to your doctor and see if there is a physical explanation.
- A variety of physical conditions can reduce sex drive, including obesity, anemia, hyperprolactinemia, diabetes, high cholesterol, head injury, or an underactive thyroid gland.^{[18]XResearch source}
3
Discuss medication with your doctor. Many drugs will reduce sex drive. Discuss the side effects of your proscriptions with your doctor.
- Antidepressants (SSRIs), tranquilizers, and blood pressure medications have all been shown to reduce libido.^{[19]XResearch source}
4
Try medication designed to treat erectile dysfunction. Erectile dysfunction is not the same thing as low sex drive; some people with ED still have a high sex drive. But if you have trouble getting an erection, it can foster anxieties that will reduce sex drive.^{[20]XResearch source} Talk to your doctor about ED medication like Viagra, Cialis, or Levitra, which increase blood flow to the penis.^{[21]XResearch source}
- Your doctor may need to assess if your heart is healthy enough for sex and if you are on any medication that can interact with potential treatments.
5
Ask a doctor about testosterone. Ask your doctor to test your testosterone levels if you believe that you have a physical problem. Your doctor will administer a shot once every two to four weeks until your condition has improved.^{[22]XResearch source}
- The long term effect of testosterone treatments are still unclear and many professionals believe the risks are much greater than the benefits. Be wary of testosterone treatments and use it only as a last resort.^{[23]XResearch source}
- Testosterone may also be delivered in the form of a gel, applied once daily to the shoulders, upper arm, or abdomen.^{[24]XResearch source}

Expert Q&A

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Question
How can I increase my stamina?
Ritu Thakur, MA
Natural Health Care Professional
Ritu Thakur is a healthcare consultant in Delhi, India, with over 10 years of experience in Ayurveda, Naturopathy, Yoga, and Holistic Care. She received her Bachelor Degree in Medicine (BAMS) in 2009 from BU University, Bhopal followed by her Master's in Health Care in 2011 from Apollo Institute of Health Care Management, Hyderabad.
Ritu Thakur, MA
Natural Health Care Professional
Expert Answer
You can try mixing 1 teaspoon (3 g) of Indian ginseng powder in a glass of milk and drinking it before you go to sleep to improve your stamina.
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Question
What causes low sex drive in men?
Tracy Zollinger Dipl. OM, L.Ac., FABORM
Licensed Herbalist & Acupuncturist
Tracy Zollinger (she/her) is a Licensed Acupuncturist, Herbalist, and the Founder of Island Acupuncture in the San Francisco Bay Area. With over 15 years of experience, Tracy specializes in a holistic approach to reproductive health, fertility, and pre and post-natal care. Tracy creates comprehensive treatment plans using acupuncture, herbs, nutrition, and western labs. She holds a Master of Science in Traditional Chinese Medicine from the Academy of Chinese Culture and Health Sciences and is board certified in integrative reproductive medicine, with a focus on LGBTQIA specific needs.
Tracy Zollinger Dipl. OM, L.Ac., FABORM
Licensed Herbalist & Acupuncturist
Expert Answer
There could be all kinds of things contributing to this. Some of it is natural. Your sex drive changes based on your age, health, etc. Stress could be another contributing factor when it comes to sex drive, or there could be an underlying medical issue.
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Question
Why is my sex drive always low when I'm busy?
Tracy Zollinger Dipl. OM, L.Ac., FABORM
Licensed Herbalist & Acupuncturist
Tracy Zollinger (she/her) is a Licensed Acupuncturist, Herbalist, and the Founder of Island Acupuncture in the San Francisco Bay Area. With over 15 years of experience, Tracy specializes in a holistic approach to reproductive health, fertility, and pre and post-natal care. Tracy creates comprehensive treatment plans using acupuncture, herbs, nutrition, and western labs. She holds a Master of Science in Traditional Chinese Medicine from the Academy of Chinese Culture and Health Sciences and is board certified in integrative reproductive medicine, with a focus on LGBTQIA specific needs.
Tracy Zollinger Dipl. OM, L.Ac., FABORM
Licensed Herbalist & Acupuncturist
Expert Answer
You're probably stressed out. When you're stressed, your natural drive to reproduce just isn't at the forefront of your mind. Your body doesn't prioritize that kind of impulse. So, reducing your overall stress levels should dramatically help.
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Remember to be patient. Your sex drive will fluctuate depending on age, health and other things going on in life. A temporary loss of interest in sex is probably nothing to worry about. If it continues or begins to disrupt your relationship, seek help.
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