Download ArticleDownload ArticleThis article was reviewed by Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW. Kelli Miller is a Psychotherapist based in Los Angeles, California. Kelli specializes in individual and couples therapy focusing on relationships, depression, anxiety, sexuality, communication, parenting, and more. She is the author of “Love Hacks: Simple Solutions to Your Most Common Relationship Issues” which details the top 15 relationship issues and 3 quick solutions to each. She is also the award-winning and best-selling author of “Thriving with ADHD”. Kelli co-hosted an advice show on LA Talk Radio and was a relationship expert for The Examiner. She received her MSW (Masters of Social Work) from the University of Pennsylvania and a BA in Sociology/Health from the University of Florida.
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When done correctly, ignoring a guy is a powerful way to show that you’re not affected by him. It’s a technique that comes in handy when you’re feeling hurt or ignored yourself and need some time away from him, but be careful when ignoring a guy that you’re interested in—it could backfire and chase him away. If you know ignoring is the way to go, using subtle body language cues and speaking coolly and politely are the best ways to and show him that he’s not important to you.
Things You Should Know
- Avoid looking into his eyes or general direction. When he’s near you, cross your arms and legs and angle your body away from him.
- Move away from him if he enters the room. If he talks to you, keep your facial expression blank.
- Give short answers when he talks to you and end the conversation quickly. If he texts you, wait at least 15 minutes before you respond with a short answer.
Steps
Avoid making eye contact with him. Catching a guy’s eyes can come across as interest or a desire to talk, so you can give off the opposite vibe by avoiding eye contact as much as you can. If you don’t want to make it obvious, you can glance at him when he addresses you, but look away again as soon as you can. For the most effective ignoring technique, act like he doesn’t exist and try not to even look in his direction.[1]- If you’re interested in him, you can take quick glances out of the corners of your eyes to see what he’s doing or whether he’s looking at you.
Close off your body when he’s around. Body language sends unspoken signals to other people, and is an effective way to show that you’re not interested in talking to or even acknowledging a guy. Don’t change your body language too obviously, though. Stay relaxed and act natural to show that he doesn’t affect you, using only subtle physical cues.[2]Disinterested Body Language
Cross your arms and legs.
Tilt your body away from him.
Angle your feet and body towards the door.
Keep your hands and arms still. Fidgeting is a sign of discomfort, and could make him think you notice him.
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Move away when he’s around, or avoid places where he hangs out. If he enters a room, casually move to the opposite corner. If you know he likes to eat lunch in a certain spot, or sits in a particular place at school or work, go there as little as possible. Keeping your distance prevents you from coming into direct contact, which makes it easy to ignore him.- Don’t make it too obvious. Immediately turning around and walking away the moment you see him shows that you notice his presence, and are affected by it. Instead, continue your work or conversation, then use an excuse to move away, such as talking to another person or throwing something in the trash.
Keep your face expressionless if he tries to talk to you. If you end up near each other and he tries to start a conversation, you can still ignore him with a few subtle physical cues. Keep your facial expression blank and uninterested, and glance around the room to show that you’re not listening. You can also raise your eyebrows, which is a sign of dislike and shows that you want him to go away.[3]- If you have trouble keeping your face blank, try to let yourself zone out or think of something else when he’s talking to you. If you notice yourself starting to make an expression, try to relax your facial muscles and look away.
Act normal and busy when he walks into the room. One of the most effective ways to ignore a guy is to simply act completely normal when he’s around. Continue doing whatever you doing before he walked in the room, keeping busy to show him that you aren’t affected by his presence at all.[4]- Talk to your friends, bend over your desk and work, or focus on your food if you’re eating. Return your focus to whatever you’re doing to show that you don’t notice him.
Give him short greetings and answers. Ignoring a guy completely when he tries to talk to you will make you look immature and rude. It also won’t be very effective; he’ll realize right away that you’re ignoring him, which shows that he has some kind of effect on you. Instead, simply get through any conversation as quickly as possible, and without giving him any topics to work with. If you like the guy, give the same short answers but smile and be a little warmer in tone.[5]Getting Through a Conversation
Say hello to him only if he says hi first.
Give short, cool answers. For example, if he asks about your weekend, say “It was fine.” If he asks how you’re doing, say, “I’m good, thanks.”
Nod or shake your head to any “yes” or “no” questions. You can use short answers like “mhm,” or “I don’t think so.”
Don’t prolong the conversation with small talk. Say what you need to say to be polite or get what you need, then leave.
End the conversation quickly with an excuse. If you’re trying to ignore a guy, don’t let the conversations go on forever; you’ll either get more and more uncomfortable or become tempted to start talking back. Instead, come up with a plausible reason to leave. Wait for a lull in the conversation, then excuse yourself politely.Excuses to Get Out of a Conversation
“I’d better go, my friends are waiting for me over there.”
“I’m actually late to class, I gotta go.”
“I have a meeting in a couple minutes, so I need to run.”
“My ride’s about to get here.”
“I just remembered, I’m meeting someone for coffee down the street. I’d better get going.”
Talk to him formally, like an acquaintance rather than someone you know. If you have to make conversation with the guy you’re trying to ignore, be as distant as you can. Be polite but formal and talk in a disinterested voice. Talk to him like you would talk to a stranger or someone you barely know: polite, but indifferent.- For example, if you work together, you could say things like, “Did you send that email? OK, thanks,” or “Can you get that project finished today?”
Reply to his texts with short, delayed responses. You should only text the guy that you’re ignoring if he texts you first and it’s something you need to respond to, like a question. Don’t respond right away, either; wait at least 15 minutes before you write him back to show that he’s not a priority.[6][7]- If he texts to ask about homework, for example, wait about 15 minutes and then write, “Yeah, read pages 10-13 and fill out the short answers.”
- Don’t show any unnecessary emotion in your texts. Avoid using emojis, exclamation marks, or question marks.
- If the guy sends you a short, run-of-the-mill text, like “Hey,” or “What’s up?”, don’t feel obligated to respond. If you do want to write back, keep your text just as short: just say, “Hey,” or “nothing much.”
Avoid commenting or liking his social media posts. If you want to completely ignore a guy, avoid him on all forms of social media. Stop liking and commenting on his posts or pictures and don’t message him. You can even unfollow him, but if he notices, he’ll know that you went out of your way to do so, which might hint that you’re affected by him.- Ignoring a guy on social media might not be the best option if you’re interested in him. Instead, try to pique his interest by ignoring him slightly in person and liking his posts online.
- If you’re ignoring a guy because he’s really bothering you, don’t hesitate to unfollow or even block him.
Community Q&A
- QuestionA boy and I fell out over WhatsApp, and when I'm in lessons, he just stares at me. Why does he do that?
Community AnswerHe might have a crush on you, and if he does, he's probably regretting whatever happened that cause you to fall out. If it bothers you, just ask him to stop staring at you. - QuestionDoes it hurt a man when you ignore him?
Drew Hawkins1Community AnswerYes, being ignored can hurt anybody's feelings. So it's important you ignore him only if it's for a good reason. If you do care about him, ignoring him could make him think that you don't like him. However, if you're trying to get a guy to lose interest or to leave you alone, ignoring him can be an effective strategy. There are a few simple ways you can do it, too. You can move away from him when he's around or simply avoid places where he hangs out and you may run into him. You can also ignore his texts, calls, and messages. If you have to respond to him, reply with short, delayed messages. Don't respond right away. Wait at least 15 minutes before you write back to show him that he's not really a priority of yours. If he sends you a text like “Hey,” or “What’s up?”, don’t feel obligated to respond. If you do want to write back, keep your text just as short: just say, “Hey,” or “nothing much.” Eventually, he should take the hint. - QuestionHow do you ignore a guy over text?Drew Hawkins1Community AnswerThe most effective way to ignore a guy over text is to simply not respond to his texts at all. But sometimes you may not be able to fully ignore him. You can still send the message that you're not really interested in talking to him by sending short, delayed responses. Only text him if he texts you first, and only respond to texts that ask questions. Wait at least 15 minutes after he messages you to respond so you can send a clear message that he's not really a priority. For instance, if he asks something like "Did you work on that new project?" You can say something short like, "Yes, it's waiting for you to make your changes." Avoid using emojis, exclamation marks, or question marks so you don't add any extra emotion to your messages as well.
Video
Tips
- Ignoring someone can be a good technique if they’re bothering you, or, occasionally, when you want to pique their interest, but try not to ignore people out of spite or contempt.[8]Thanks
- Ignoring a guy you like might intrigue him, but remember that some guys don’t like to play games. Ignoring a guy you like could make him interested, but it might also chase him away.[9]Thanks
References
- ↑ https://pairedlife.com/dating/How-to-Pretend-to-Ignore-Someone-That-You-Actually-Really-Like
- ↑ https://www.businessinsider.com/how-to-read-body-language-2017-5
- ↑ https://www.businessinsider.com/how-to-read-body-language-2017-5
- ↑ https://hackspirit.com/how-to-ignore-a-man-and-make-him-want-you/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/evolution-the-self/201105/cold-people-what-makes-them-way-part-1
- ↑ https://www.elitedaily.com/dating/guys-come-back-when-you-ignore-them/2021823
- ↑ https://hackspirit.com/how-to-ignore-a-man-and-make-him-want-you/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/how-do-life/201405/what-you-can-do-when-youre-being-ignored
- ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gC6KmpL4jXo&feature=youtu.be&t=17s
About This Article
Medical Disclaimer
The content of this article is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, examination, diagnosis, or treatment. You should always contact your doctor or other qualified healthcare professional before starting, changing, or stopping any kind of health treatment.
To ignore a guy, avoid eye contact and close off your body by crossing your arms and legs and facing slightly away from him. Casually move away and act normal and unaffected when he comes near. If he tries to talk to you, keep your face blank, answer with short, polite responses, and don’t make small talk or show interest in the conversation. Avoid blatantly ignoring his words or turning away as soon as he enters a room, since being too obvious will prove that he affects you. For tips on how to ignore a guy you’re interested in, read on!
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