How to Identify Homophobia

You might already recognize a basic definition of homophobia as the fear of or prejudice against people who are part of the LGBTQ+ community. But it’s just as important to recognize homophobia in action—that is, in the things people say and do. This article lists common types and examples of homophobia, and also provides advice on what you can do to support positive change. After all, identifying homophobia is the first step toward eliminating it.

Section 1 of 5:

Types of Homophobia

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This is when governments or other powerful institutions enact and enforce policies that discriminate against LGBTQ+ individuals—for example, by denying the right to marry, adopt, or visit a partner in the hospital.^{[1]XResearch source}
This refers to a dominant cultural view, reinforced by traditional media and social media, that LGBTQ individuals and couples are less "normal" and "desirable" than heterosexual people and couples.^{[2]XResearch source}
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This occurs when someone shows hatred, disgust, or disdain for LGBTQ+ individuals through their words and actions; such as by making stereotypical jokes, using homophobic slurs, or engaging in physical violence.^{[3]XResearch source}
This is when an LGBTQ+ individual feels self-hatred due to their sexuality, which they have been taught is wrong, sinful, abnormal, or less desirable.^{[4]XTrustworthy SourcePubMed CentralJournal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of HealthGo to source}

Section 2 of 5:

Examples of Homophobia in Action

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1
Using derogatory names or terms. Forget the “sticks and stones” stuff—words do matter and they can hurt. Describing LGBTQ+ individuals in derogatory terms, or using those same terms to describe something else as wrong or lesser, demeans members of the LGBTQ+ community as unequal and unworthy.^{[5]XResearch source}
- For example, even if you never use offensive names against LGBTQ+ individuals directly, casually using phrases like “that’s so gay” or “you’re so gay” in negative or mocking ways supports the homophobic view that “gay” equals “lesser” or “unworthy.”
2
Enacting or supporting discriminatory policies. As mentioned elsewhere in this article, “institutional homophobia” refers to policies and laws that prevent LGBTQ+ individuals from living their lives as freely as anyone else. When the law says homophobia is okay, it’s easier for individuals to see homophobia as not only okay but sanctioned or even expected.^{[6]XResearch source}
- Homophobia can exist both in the presence or absence of specific policies or laws. For example, a school might not have explicitly anti-LGBTQ+ policies on the books, but it may still lack adequate policies to protect and support LGBTQ+ students.
3
Outing someone against their wishes. Everyone of us has the absolute right to either withhold or share information about our sexuality as we see fit.^{[7]XExpert SourceLily Zheng, MA
Diversity, Equity & Inclusion ConsultantExpert Interview. 22 November 2019.} It is always wrong to “out” someone forcibly or to pressure them to do so. At the same time, it is also wrong to try to prevent someone from “coming out” when they wish to.^{[8]XResearch source}
- Even if you are a member or ally of the LGBTQ+ community, you should not pressure someone to come out so they can “join the cause” or “live their truth.” Give them advice and encouragement if they seek it, but support their personal decisions regardless.
4
Spreading misinformation. It’s always been a problem, but misinformation is easier to spread than ever before thanks to social media. Sharing inaccurate or false information about the LGBTQ+ community is easy to do on purpose or by mistake, but, the result is the same—others pick up the hurtful misinformation and spread it along, further seeding homophobia.^{[9]XResearch source}
- For example, the claim that gay men are more likely to contract HIV might be warped into the claim that only gay men contract HIV, resulting in further stigmatization.
5
Believing in stereotypes. Members of the LGBTQ+ community are unique individuals, just like everyone else on this planet. Making blanket assumptions based on stereotypes robs individuals of their identities and makes it easier to view them as an undesirable “other.”^{[10]XResearch source}
- For example, it is homophobic to assume that all LGBTQ+ individuals must be hyper-sexualized, promiscuous, and uninterested in long-term relationships. So too is the assumption that gay men aren’t “tough” enough to play sports like football or hockey.
6
Holding irrational fears. One of the most common irrational fears is that all LGBTQ folks are out to “get” straight people somehow. A gay man changing in a men’s locker room, for instance, is not automatically sexually attracted to every other man there. Nor is he trying to “convert” (perhaps by somehow “tricking”) the straight men--he’s just trying to get cleaned up after a pickup basketball game.^{[11]XResearch source}
- Here’s another example of irrational fear: A school teacher who also happens to be a lesbian is not automatically trying to “confuse” and “indoctrinate” her students.
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Expressing unequal reactions. A homophobe responds differently to very similar circumstances. For example, it’s discriminatory and offensive to be okay with heterosexual public displays of affection, but to label, similar homosexual displays as “over-the-top” or “awkward,” let alone “wrong” or “inappropriate.” The same is true for major life events like engagements, weddings, and the arrival of children.
- Of course it’s okay to be uncomfortable with all public displays of affection, or not to get excited when any random co-worker gets engaged. The problem arises when you use different standards based on sexuality.
8
Assuming heterosexuality by default. Treating being straight as normal treats all others as abnormal. In other words, if you assume that each person is hetero by default until proven otherwise, you relegate the alternatives to lesser exceptions to the rule.^{[12]XResearch source}
- For example, asking “Do you have a girlfriend?” to a guy you just met makes an unnecessary hetero assumption, when you could just as easily ask “Are you dating anyone right now?”
Rejecting a person’s LGBTQ+ identity outright is more obviously homophobic: telling someone, for instance, “You’re not gay, you’re just confused.” But it’s also homophobic to say things like “I don’t even think of you as being gay” or “It doesn’t matter to me that you’re gay.” Why? Because you’re still denying an important part of who they are.^{[13]XResearch source}

Section 3 of 5:

What kind of damage does homophobia cause?

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It negatively impacts its targets, sources, and all of society. Homophobia creates unnecessary barriers and hostility that are harmful to all parties involved and society at large. That said, LGBTQ+ individuals are most directly and severely impacted. Here are just a few examples:
- Increased risk of depression and suicide (especially in younger people).
- Increased stress due to the lack of social support.
- Social anxiety out of the fear of encountering people who are homophobic.
- Difficulty obtaining adequate health coverage and quality services.
- Inability to marry or adopt (depending on legislation).
- Negative effects on income and employment.

Section 4 of 5:

How should I react to homophobic comments?

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Educate, correct, or ignore the offender. Always consider the situation to help you choose the best course of action. For example, is it best to speak up to a stranger in a public situation or walk away? Should you correct someone you know now or wait until you’re alone with them? Is the person being intentionally hurtful or are they misinformed and open to being better informed?^{[14]XExpert SourceLily Zheng, MA
Diversity, Equity & Inclusion ConsultantExpert Interview. 22 November 2019.}
- For instance, if your friend says “that’s so gay” during a group conversation, you might decide it’s best to speak up right then and there and explain why that’s wrong to say. Or, you might decide it’s best to wait and talk privately as the more effective way to educate them. Use your best judgment based on the situation.^{[15]XExpert SourceLily Zheng, MA
  Diversity, Equity & Inclusion ConsultantExpert Interview. 22 November 2019.}
- Or, if a stranger is using homophobic slurs in public, you might decide your best course of action is to calmly but forcefully tell them they are being offensive and rude.^{[16]XExpert SourceLily Zheng, MA
  Diversity, Equity & Inclusion ConsultantExpert Interview. 22 November 2019.} Alternatively, you may determine that walking away is the safest course of action.
- If you notice someone repeatedly making homophobic remarks at work, report their behavior to a manager or HR rep.^{[17]XExpert SourceLily Zheng, MA
  Diversity, Equity & Inclusion ConsultantExpert Interview. 22 November 2019.}

Section 5 of 5:

How can I take action?

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Regardless of your orientation, make it clear to the community that you are a friend and ally.
Go to pride fairs and join a GSA (Gay Straight Alliance) group. Donate to LGBTQ+ organizations.
Do research based on reliable sources. Ask questions to members of the LGBTQ+ community and listen carefully to their answers.
Write to your legislators and support candidates who favor anti-homophobic laws and policies.
Schools can be challenging environments that are especially hostile to LGBTQ+ youth. Ensure that schools have anti-bullying and harassment policies in place that specifically protect LGBTQ+ students and staff.
Never use derogatory or offensive terminology to describe LGBTQ individuals, be mindful of even casual language, and encourage others to do the same.
Use reliable sources to help you explain why it is hurtful and wrong, and encourage the person sending it to evaluate their sources carefully before spreading (mis)information.
Challenge yourself and others to avoid making assumptions about individuals based on stereotypes. Learn more about the diversity of the LGBTQ+ community.
Remind yourself and others to evaluate people in the LGBTQ community based on what they do, not on what they must be thinking or wanting to do.
Encourage everyone to respond in a consistent way to things like public displays of affection, engagements, weddings, and welcoming children, regardless of sexuality.
When talking to or about someone you don't know well, use neutral language regarding sexuality. Don’t make assumptions about someone's sexuality based on how they express themselves or behave.
Remind yourself and encourage others to respect the fullness of others’ identities. LGBTQ+ identity, for instance, isn’t all a person is, nor is it irrelevant to who they are.

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I'm bisexual with homophobic parents. My mom always tells me to not hang around a lesbian. If I tell her somethiing, she might suspect. What do I do?
Molly
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If you came out, do you think you might be harmed? If so, maybe wait, or have someone who supports you as backup.
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