How to Give an Unforgettable Kiss

You’re already breathing the same air, faces hovering near one another, hands sparring, bodies exchanging static electricity. Incredible kisses occur in many different contexts, with no one proven type of kiss to rule them all. Technical skills do matter, but not nearly as much as the collective artistry of a moment fully shared. Rest assured, there are a handful of ways you can increase the likelihood that your very next kiss is unforgettable.

This article is based on an interview with our dating and relationship coach, Maya Diamond, MA. Check out the full interview here.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Initiating a Kiss

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1
Make eye contact. To quote a song worth kissing to, “If you think that is a kiss is all in the lips, come on, you’ve got it all wrong.” The intensity of a kiss is determined by so much more than the kiss itself, and eye contact is where many kisses begin.^{[1]XResearch source}
- Intentionally pause right before impact for a moment of pure and unadulterated eye contact.
- A powerful moment of eye contact can actually be the breaking point of passion, pulling you in to one another for a kiss that is already unforgettable.
- Break eye contact by looking at their lips. Let them know what you’re thinking about with your eyes.
2
Remember to breathe. This is harder than you think. The better the kiss, the worse your memory. That said, oxygen-deprivation is a far-too-common reason that kisses do not achieve their full potential.^{[2]XResearch source}
- Make breathing breaks sexy by allowing your partner to feel your breath, though only barely.
- Evince your nervous energy and excitement with flattering exhalations.
- It’s a deeply gratifying feeling to literally take someone’s breath away. If someone takes yours, make sure they know it.
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3
Take your time. The impact made the first time your lips meet someone else’s can be completely and incredibly disorienting. Allow gravity to fall away by letting your lips linger on your partner’s skin. Time and space will distort accordingly.^{[3]XResearch source}
- That said, don’t hold back. Don’t feel as though you should hesitate and let your partner lead, unless this is what you want and have been clear about your desires. If you’re interested, act like it and initiate!
- Immerse yourself fully in every kiss, but especially the first few times your lips touch one another’s. Allow yourself the freedom and enjoyment of fully enjoy another person’s affection.^{[4]XExpert SourceMaya Diamond, MA
  Relationship CoachExpert Interview. 17 January 2019.}
- When you pull away, your eyes will already be sharing exactly how you felt about the endeavor, and you’ll already have forgotten everything else about your day.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Tuning in to One Another’s Desire

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1
Start slowly. Plenty of high quality kisses will turn wet and sloppy at some point. They shouldn’t ever start that way. Allow you and your partner to enjoy the rising swell of arousal by kissing softly and slowly at first.^{[5]XExpert SourceMaya Diamond, MA
Relationship CoachExpert Interview. 17 January 2019.}
- Following an initial few exploratory kisses, withdraw and work the eye contact. You’ll likely both lean in for more without thinking at all.
- It’s better to keep each other wanting more than over-imposing yourself early in a potential kiss-a-thon. There’s no rush.
- Try starting a kiss somewhere other than your lover’s lips. The neck, the eyes, the ears; each of these are intimate parts of the body that will excitedly receive a well-timed kiss.
2
Pay attention to your partner. You and your kissing counterpart have to work together if you want to knock each other’s socks off. Think of kissing like dancing – with all sorts of styles and ways to move. What matters most is staying in tune with one another.^{[6]XExpert SourceMaya Diamond, MA
Relationship CoachExpert Interview. 17 January 2019.}
- If you’re already overthinking everything right out of the gate, focus on the way their lips feel against yours, and your thoughts will likely return to the kiss.
- Heat things up. One option is to gently bite. Pull softly on their lower lip. Not everyone will enjoy this, but most will, and will likely follow in whatever direction your teeth are pulling them.
- Introduce the tongue. Slowly and methodically drag the tip of your tongue along the edges of your partner’s lips.
- Use the texture and pressure of your tongue to introduce the notion that there is plenty more to look forward to in the coming moments.^{[7]XResearch source}
- Use your tongue according to your partner’s response. If your tongues have taken control and have already started to wrestle in one another’s mouths, you likely don’t have cause to hesitate. That said, don’t forget that kissing is a full-body endeavor.^{[8]XExpert SourceMaya Diamond, MA
  Relationship CoachExpert Interview. 17 January 2019.}
3
Use your hands. Let your appendages wander. The best way to begin to explore the creative potential of a kiss if to literally feel the energy your partner’s body is emanating. Begin to roam (with either hand or mouth) from the base of their neck down their spine.^{[9]XResearch source}
- Don’t allow yourself to overthink what you’re doing with your hands. Don’t allow them to rest anywhere for too long.
- Never touch anyone anywhere they have not consented to being touched. The first few times you kiss someone, you need to explore one another’s boundaries carefully by making a point of respecting limits to the sorts of touching you’re each comfortable including in a kiss.
- Some classic extracurricular hand placements include the back of the head, the deep lower back, and along or just below your partner’s jaw.
4
Explore and expand the session by varying your approach. Don’t risk boring each other by repeating the same motion or action over and over. Maintaining variety in the way you’re touching and kissing will keep the session interesting.^{[10]XResearch source}
- Alternate between long, slow kisses and popcorn-kettle kisses that jump around from place to unpredictable place.
- Don’t forget to break away from time to time to allow one another to breathe deeply and exchange make contact with your eyes. This also allows you to communicate some form of telepathic creative inspiration that will be evident when the kissing resumes.
- Reinitiate kissing your partner by targeting a new part of their body.
- As you learn where your lover enjoys being kissed, returned to those areas and enjoy the reaction your lips elicit.
5
Kiss during moments of intense intimacy. Of all the places a kiss may lead, extreme intimacy is an especially popular destination. Don’t allow your acts of intimacy to become routine. Use your lips to maintain surprise, compassion, and variability when having sex.
- Sexual relationships are remarkably varied. As long as you and your partner openly communicate, sex can be healthy in all sorts of way. That said, fulfillment is often derived in part via a romantic connection – which can be conveyed immediately by a tender kiss.
- During and after moments of full-body contact, don’t allow your excitement to prevent your enjoyment of wrapping one another in a fury of arms, hips, legs, and shoulders. Kiss all of one another with your lips; kiss them with every other part of your body as well.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Acting Like a Kissable Human

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1
Take care of your mouth. This one doesn’t require too much elaboration. Brush your teeth twice a day. Mess around with mouthwash. Carry mints.^{[11]XResearch source}
- Metaphorically, the care you take in maintaining a kissable mouth shows a potential kissing partner that you take care of yourself generally. This is an extremely significant aspect of attraction.
- Floss. Albeit the least fun oral hygiene task, flossing might have the greatest positive impact on mouth cleanliness.
- Soften those lips. Chapstick and lip gloss can make a big difference in preventing lip dryness. You can always employ natural wetness – and perhaps set the tone – by licking your lips.^{[12]XResearch source}
2
Value kissing in and of itself. Know that different people will approach and respond to kissing differently. Kissing, pure and simple, can be an incredibly exciting, enjoyable act. It is also an integral component of a healthy relationship.^{[13]XResearch source}
- Some may value the intimacy and tenderness of kissing, favoring the compassion of a kiss as much as the passion it brings to mind.
- Don’t ever assume anything about what anyone prefers on account of their gender – that’s not only prejudiced, it’s simply inaccurate.
- Do not view kissing predominantly as a prelude to sex. While sex is a fun and healthy aspect of many relationships that also include kissing, it is important to recognize that someone’s interest in kissing you does not at all indicate that they are willing to have sex.
3
Listen to your partner – including their breathing. You can tell whether someone is enjoying themselves by how they’re breathing. Contribute to the heat of the moment by allowing one another to become aware of each other’s breath. When you’re unsure of anything, pause and simply listen to your partner breathe.^{[14]XExpert SourceMaya Diamond, MA
Relationship CoachExpert Interview. 17 January 2019.}
- Your partner may sometimes be more comfortable if you tone it down a bit. Your tongue, for instance, can be a key element of a kiss, but so should your lips, hands, and the openness of both of your airwaves.
- Match your partner’s tempo. And recall the dancing metaphor. Take turns leading one another wherever your mind and body take you. Enjoy sharing the pattern of pushing and pulling with your partner, whatever that means for the two of you.
4
Kiss mindfully. The contemporary, breakneck pace of life has permeated even our most intimate relationships. Don’t let this diminish the quality of your kisses, nor the depth of your intimacy. Practice mindfulness in the most integral physical aspect of your romantic relationships by kissing with intention.^{[15]XResearch source}
- Take two minutes a day to stop with your partner in the middle of the everyday chaos and share a spontaneous, fully-focused, drawn-out kiss.
- Focus on the weight and meaning of the exact moment in which you’re living. Fully experiencing yourself and your partner is the best way to ensure the kiss is meditatively unforgettable.

Kiss Like a Pro with this Expert Series

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Ready to take your kissing game to the next level? Become a skilled kisser with these expert articles.

1

Be Kissable

2

Use Your Hands During a Kiss

3

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4

Give a Candy Flavored Kiss

5

Deal With a Sloppy Kiss

6

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Expert Q&A

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Question
How do you give a passionate kiss?
Maya Diamond, MA
Relationship Coach
Maya Diamond is a Dating and Relationship Coach in Berkeley, CA. She has 13 years of experience helping singles stuck in frustrating dating patterns find internal security, heal their past, and create healthy, loving, and lasting partnerships. She received her Master's in Somatic Psychology from the California Institute of Integral Studies in 2009.
Maya Diamond, MA
Relationship Coach
Expert Answer
Use your tongue. Tune in to your partner while you're kissing them and open your mouth while moving your head. You can also do things differently to add some variation by moving your tongue in different ways. Just make sure you aren't being aggressive or forcing your tongue into your partner's mouth. It's okay to lead things, but don't force anything on your partner.
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Warnings

Never assume that kissing indicates a willingness to escalate a romantic situation into a full on sexual adventure.
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Never continue to insist on kissing someone who does not want to be kissed.
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If you realize you’re not into it, even mid-kiss, you have every right to break it off and excuse yourself.
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Tips

Don’t worry too much about your eyes. You’ll hear plenty of chatter about whether your eyes should be closed or open. Both work. In this and every respect mentioned here, everyone has their own style. Do whatever you’re most comfortable with, and pay attention to what your partner’s eyes are up to if you’re looking for inspiration.^{[16]XResearch source}
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