How to Give Someone a Hickey

Giving your partner a hickey in the middle of a passionate make-out session can feel amazing, as well as playfully mark them as "yours." But how do you actually give someone a hickey, and what’s the best technique? We’ll walk you through everything you need to know about hickeys—what they look like, what they feel like, and how you can become a hickey expert.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Understanding Hickeys

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A hickey, also known as a "love bite" or "kiss mark" is essentially a bruise caused by sucking or aggressively kissing another person's skin. It is initially red in color, due to broken blood vessels beneath the skin. It will later turn purple or dark brown as it heals.^{[1]XResearch source}
Hickeys are a mark of passion. They are often done in the heat of the moment. Contrary to popular belief, hickeys should be shared as a token of physical affirmation and pleasure as opposed to showing ownership over a partner.^{[2]XResearch source}
3
Always ask for permission first. A hickey is a sexual mark, which makes it inappropriate for school, work, or visiting grandparents. Some people may wish to avoid the embarrassment of being caught with a hickey, so it is important to check in with whoever is receiving the hickey to see what they are comfortable with.
- In addition, receiving a hickey can be somewhat painful, which is a mood killer for some people. However, some people enjoy this aspect of the experience.

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Making Your Mark

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1
Build up the tension. Don't just dive directly onto your partner's neck and go in for the hickey. Spend some time kissing and French kissing first, then move your lips to your partner's throat. Start with light kisses, then move into harder and more insistent kisses around the throat and collarbone. If your partner seems to enjoy it, you're probably clear to move into giving a hickey, but you should always check in with them first.
- "Hickey" isn't the sexiest word to whisper into someone's ear, so if you've avoided asking for permission until now, you should mention that you'd like to leave a mark on your partner's skin and see how they respond.
2
Hickeys work on any skin type, and any section of the body. They are usually found on the neck. However, the skin in the crook of your elbow or on the inner thigh are also pleasurable locations.
- If you know your partner would be extremely embarrassed at having a visible hickey, don't just put it in the middle of the throat where anyone can see, and ask them where the most comfortable location is.
- The side or the back of the neck is a good bet if your partner has long hair, or you could go to the collarbones, closer to the shoulder, so the skin can be covered by a regular crew-neck T-shirt.
Imagine you are making the letter "O" with your lips, then press them firmly onto your partner's skin so that you can make a good seal, without leaving any gaps for the air to escape. Try to keep your mouth soft and inviting as you do this, instead of going into a hard pucker.^{[3]XResearch source}
4
Suck the skin. The key here is to suck hard enough to break the capillaries just beneath the skin, but not so hard that you cause your partner too much pain. You will need to suck for 20 to 30 seconds in order to make a mark. Remember:
- Keep your teeth out of the way. You don't want them digging painfully into your partner's skin. Teeth can be used lightly to intensify the pleasure of the experience if that is what your partner desires.
- Break up the sucking. If 30 solid seconds of hickey-making strikes you as too weird, try 10 seconds, some kissing, then another 10 seconds in the same spot, and so on.
- Control the amount of spit in your mouth. You don't want to be leaving a creepy drip of slobber on your partner's neck as you give a hickey, so try to swallow back any excess.
When you're done sucking, try laying a few gentle kisses on the area, which probably feels more sensitive now. Resume making out as usual.
Just as when you get a bruise, you won't be able to see the hickey immediately. It should show up after 5 or 10 minutes, and could be anywhere from light pink to dark purple.
To achieve this, return to the same spot and repeat the process again. Or move to another location if requested.
Maybe your partner thinks they're cool with having a hickey, but they hate the way that it feels while you're doing it. Or your partner decides they can't risk their parents or employer seeing the mark. Always respect your partner's wishes if they say "no," even if you've already started the process. A hickey is sometimes seen as a mark of trust, so abusing that trust is not okay.

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Hiding a Hickey

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1
Use concealer. A little heavy make-up or concealer can be pretty effective for covering up a hickey. Just make sure you get a color that matches your skin tone, and to blend it in. ^{[4]XResearch source}
- Stage make up is extra thick and heavy, so you may resort to that if you're trying to conceal a real whopper.
2
Wear a scarf. A scarf is your best friend when attempting to conceal a hickey on your neck, as a scarf is a fashionable item which no one will question you wearing (unless it's 100 degrees outside). Wrap the scarf strategically around your neck, and make sure to check it in a mirror from time to time to make sure the material hasn't moved, leaving your hickey exposed.^{[5]XResearch source}
- Other options for covering a neck hickey include wearing a turtleneck (again, when weather conditions allow) or wearing your hair down, if it's long enough.
Cover it with a band aid. A band aid will effectively cover up a hickey and give it time to heal away from the prying eyes of the world.
4
Try to speed up the healing. Arnica cream is said to speed up the healing of bruises, so it may also be effective for clearing up hickeys. There are numerous other home remedies that supposedly help to speed up healing, such as applying an ice pack, rubbing the hickey with a comb, scraping the hickey with a coin and covering the hickey with toothpaste.^{[6]XResearch source}
- All of these methods, and more, are outlined in the article How to Remove a Hickey.

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What’s the best place to give someone a hickey?
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You can give someone a hickey anywhere you like, as long as they’re okay with it. If they want to be able to hide the hickey, do it in a place that will be covered by their clothes or hair.
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Do hickeys feel good?
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This can vary from one person to another. For many people, hickeys are pleasurable, or at least painless. However, some people might find them a little bit painful—although not everyone considers that to be a drawback! Experiment with your partner to discover what works for both of you.
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Are hickeys dangerous?
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Typically, hickeys are not dangerous. However, someone with an active oral herpes infection or open cold sore may be able to pass the virus to their partner while giving them a hickey. In rare cases, hickeys can also cause mild scarring.
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Tips

To heal a hickey faster, put a wet spoon in the freezer. When it has iced over, take it out and let it thaw a bit until it's nice and cool. Press the spoon against your hickey to cut the swelling.^{[7]XResearch source} Then use a soft toothbrush and swipe the hickey from the outside in to get the blood flowing and to heal the capillaries.
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Always remember to be gentle and try your best not to hurt your boyfriend/girlfriend.
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Bite a little bit if you feel comfortable. Just a little nip. That's also something someone might not enjoy, so watch for signs of discomfort, or it could be extremely sexy and just pick up the romance further.
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Warnings

Skip the hickey if your partner has hemophilia.^{[8]XResearch source} Also, be aware that if your partner is anemic, the hickey might be much bigger and more noticeable.
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Receiving a hickey can be painful. If you're the recipient, and you don’t like the way it feels, pull away and tell your partner to stop.
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