How to Date a Girl That Is Taller Than You

One lasting dating taboo is that a man should always be taller than his partner--or, at the very least, the same height. But with gender norms and stereotypes becoming less and less relevant, there's no better time to ask out that long-legged lady. This article will give you some tips on how to best approach the girl and how to make sure you both feel comfortable and secure with your relationship.

Method 1

Method 1 of 2:

Getting Comfortable

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Accept that she's taller than you.^{[1]XExpert SourceLaura Bilotta
Dating Coach & MatchmakerExpert Interview. 7 July 2020.} There is nothing either of you can do to change the fact that she's taller. Think about what is really important in a relationship--Do you get along? Do you have chemistry? Do you have similar interests? Don't let something superficial and beyond your control ruin what could potentially be a wonderful, fulfilling partnership.^{[2]XResearch source}
- Think about who actually cares about your height difference. Are you afraid people are going to laugh or make comments? Don't let other people's pettiness stop you from finding happiness.
- If you truly can't get over the fact that she's taller than you, you may have some soul-searching to do. Ask yourself why it matters to you and if it truly makes a difference in the quality of your connection with someone.
- If she turns you down because you're not tall enough, then forget about her. If she's not willing to see beyond a superficial difference, you're better off finding someone else.
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Don't mention it.^{[3]XExpert SourceLaura Bilotta
Dating Coach & MatchmakerExpert Interview. 7 July 2020.} You may think it's cute or cheeky to tease her about her height--opening with a line like "What's the weather like up there?" or "Wow, do you play basketball? Can you dunk?"--is going to make you look insecure and make her feel awkward or even angry.^{[4]XResearch source} She knows she's tall, and she's probably heard those lame jokes a million times. Make it clear you're interested in getting to know her and her personality and that you're not hung up on something superficial like her height.
- One tall lady suggests treating a tall woman's height as you would a woman with an ample chest--even if it's part of her appeal, you would never walk up to a woman with large breasts and ask about her bra size.^{[5]XResearch source}
- Unless she brings it up first, don't mention her height until you've gotten to know each other. Then you can tell her how her long legs are super sexy.^{[6]XResearch source}
- If she addresses your height difference, tell her you don't think it's an issue. Let her know you think it's an asset, but it's not something you spend a lot of time worrying about.^{[7]XResearch source}
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Own your masculine energy in other ways. You can still be strong, kind, considerate, and chivalrous. You can also make a woman feel safe, respected, and desired.^{[8]XExpert SourceLaura Bilotta
Dating Coach & MatchmakerExpert Interview. 7 July 2020.} The most attractive characteristic of a man or woman is self-confidence and feeling good about who you are. If you are insecure about your height and constantly remind her of how much taller she is, or if you ask her not to wear heels because it makes you feel uncomfortable, you're going to look like you're not secure with who you are. It may also make her feel like you think something is wrong with her.^{[9]XResearch source}
- Dating a tall woman will actually make you appear more confident. If you're a short guy and you're comfortable with your tall lady wearing heels, it will be clear that you feel good about yourself and your relationship, and that you have a great connection that is greater than stupid taboos.
- Don't try to always stand somewhere so you're taller than her--like on a curb or one step above her on an escalator. She will notice what you are doing and it will suggest to her that you are not comfortable with yourself or the fact that she's taller.^{[10]XResearch source}
Compliment her height for confidence. "As a shorter guy dating a tall woman, I used to feel insecure about her height advantage. But this article taught me to see her long legs and overall stature as assets. Now, I regularly compliment her statuesque figure, telling her she looks amazing in heels. Seeing how much it boosts her confidence in us as a couple made me realize the power of appreciating qualities instead of getting hung up on them." - Justin D.
Get over past embarrassment for success. "After getting laughed at all through middle school for having a girlfriend who eventually became much taller than me, I carried that self-consciousness about my height for years. Even in college, when no one cared, I still felt that childhood embarrassment. Reading this guide helped me finally move past the old baggage and recognize my height doesn't dictate my worth or success with taller women. Now, I feel confident enough to ask out tall women again rather than limiting my options due to old hurts." - Brian V.
Treat her with chivalry. "As a guy on the short side, I used to feel intimidated about dating tall women, wondering if I could make them still feel dainty and feminine. This article emphasized old-fashioned chivalry, like opening car doors or pulling out chairs for dates. Even when I had to reach up to give my girlfriend a kiss, those consistent gentlemanly gestures reassured her of being treated in a special way. I've noticed she stands and moves with more ease now." - Steven Q.
Celebrate your girlfriend's height. "I'll admit as a shorter guy, I lacked insight into the female experience of being unusually tall. After reading this, I better understand little things that can inadvertently undermine tall women's confidence—like wearing hidden lifts to sneak extra height. Now better equipped to empathize with my girlfriend's viewpoint, I feel ready to support her through whatever height-related insecurities pop up rather than risk worsening them." - Jake R.
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Method 2

Method 2 of 2:

Dating a Tall Woman

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1
Appreciate her height. The height difference is not something to just put up with, it's another quality to appreciate in your amazing partner.^{[11]XResearch source} Even if you are comfortable being shorter than your girl, she may still feel awkward or worry that you are self-conscious about it. Once she knows you like her for her awesome personality, let her know that you think her height is just as cool as her wicked sense of humor, her ability to quote your favorite movies, her incredible math skills, and all the other things that make her special.^{[12]XResearch source}
- Don't try to get her to slouch so she appears shorter or ask her to wear only flats.
- Compliment her height and her long legs. Remind her that her stature only adds to her appeal.
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Treat her like a lady. Most women will say they prefer a taller man because it makes them feel more feminine since she's probably heard most of her life that to be bigger than a man in any way is a turn-off.^{[13]XResearch source} If a tall woman has any insecurities about her height, it usually boils down to feeling like she's intimidating or "mannish."^{[14]XResearch source} Make her feel feminine by putting your hand on the small of her back or around her waist. Put your arm around her when you're sitting next to each other. Don't discourage her from wearing heels if she wants to.^{[15]XResearch source}
- She may appreciate it if you behave with a certain classic masculinity. Be assertive (but not rude or controlling). Make the first move and kiss her first.^{[16]XResearch source}
- You can still be the big spoon while cuddling, you may just need to adjust how you would normally lie next to her. Or why not take a turn as the little spoon?^{[17]XResearch source}
Certainly you are both aware that you're shorter than she is, but if she's going out with you, it means she doesn't care about that.^{[18]XExpert SourceLaura Bilotta
Dating Coach & MatchmakerExpert Interview. 7 July 2020.} She sees something in you that is more important than your physical appearance. The fact that she's not about to let the opinions of others stop her from dating you should make you feel confident in your relationship.
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Dress to look taller. You should only do this if you and your girlfriend have discussed the height difference and you both still feel uncomfortable with it. If you start trying to be sneaky and wear shoes that make you look taller just so you feel better, she's going to notice and think you're insecure.^{[19]XResearch source}
- Wear boots or sneakers with a thicker sole. You can also get lifts to put inside your shoe, which makes you appear taller without having to wear a heeled shoe.
- Wear tailored clothes with vertical stripes. Loose, baggy clothes can make you appear smaller or shorter in stature, and vertical stripes will make your body appear longer.^{[20]XResearch source}
- Style your hair in a pompadour or spike it up with gel. The key is to keep it short on the sides but leave lots of volume up top.
- Stand up straight! Not only does good posture just look better, but you may find you're not that much shorter than your girlfriend after all. Keep your shoulders back and your head high. You'll even look more confident.^{[21]XResearch source}

Get More Dates with this Expert Series for Men

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Dating is hard. We’ve put together this series of expert articles to help you get more dates, go on better dates, and ultimately find your person.

1

Look Attractive (Guys)

2

Flirt with a Girl over Text

3

Ask a Girl Out

4

Impress a Girl on a Date

5

Ask a Girl for a Kiss

6

How Often Should You Text Someone You Just Started Dating?

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Question
How do I date a girl that is taller than me?
Laura Bilotta
Dating Coach & Matchmaker
Laura Bilotta is a Dating Coach, Matchmaker, and the Founder of Single in the City, her dating and relationship coaching service based in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. With over 18 years of experience, she focuses on helping singles date more intentionally, encouraging them to let go of negative patterns so that they can attract the love that they deserve. Her experience, skills, and insights have led to thousands of successfully united over 65,000 singles through events and one-on-one matchmaking coaching sessions. She has been the host of The Dating and Relationship Show on Global News Radio 640 Toronto (AM640) for 6 years and is known as The Hookup Queen of Clubhouse; her popular singles club, Single in the City, has over 95.5K members who regularly join in weekly dating and relationship-focused rooms.
Laura Bilotta
Dating Coach & Matchmaker
Expert Answer
Height doesn't have to be a deciding factor in a relationship. There are plenty of ways to show that you're strong, kind, considerate, and chivalrous. If you make her feel safe, respected, and desired, you shouldn't have a problem dating a girl who's taller than you.
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