Download ArticleDownload ArticleThis article was co-authored by Tami Claytor and by How.com.vn staff writer, Luke Smith, MFA. Tami Claytor is an Etiquette Coach, Image Consultant, and the Owner of Always Appropriate Image and Etiquette Consulting in New York, New York. With over 20 years of experience, Tami specializes in teaching etiquette classes to individuals, students, companies, and community organizations. Tami has spent decades studying cultures through her extensive travels across five continents and has created cultural diversity workshops to promote social justice and cross-cultural awareness. She holds a BA in Economics with a concentration in International Relations from Clark University. Tami studied at the Ophelia DeVore School of Charm and the Fashion Institute of Technology, where she earned her Image Consultant Certification.
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Curtsying may seem simple, but it takes a proper lady to execute a proper curtsy. Curtsying used to be commonplace in everyday life, but nowadays it is reserved for members of European royalty, along with very specific occasions such as debutante balls and ballet recitals. That said, it’s still an elegant and timeless greeting that makes an invaluable addition to any lady’s etiquette. We’ll show you how to do a simple, traditional curtsy like the royals do, then a few other styles to cover your bases. We’ll also show you how to stand, walk, and sit like a lady, because etiquette doesn’t stop at the curtsy.
Things You Should Know
- Lower your chin, but maintain eye contact with the person you’re curtsying for. If your skirt is long, hold it between your forefingers and thumbs.
- Place your right foot about 4–8 inches (10–20 cm) behind and to the left of your left foot. Then slowly bend your knees and lower yourself about 4–6 inches (10–15 cm).
- Hold that position for about 1 second, then slowly and gracefully straighten your knees and return to a standing posture, with your back straight.
Steps
Lower your chin and maintain eye contact. Bend your head forward at a slight, 45-degree angle, as if giving an exaggerated, respectful nod.[1] Not too far, though; avoid pressing your chin to your chest, or looking at your feet. Maintain this position throughout the curtsy.- Perform this curtsy any time you’d like to show respect to someone else in a formal setting, such as before dancing with a partner, or meeting a partner’s parents at a banquet or gala.
Hold your skirt if it reaches your ankles. In modern times, it isn't usually necessary to hold your skirt while you curtsy. Instead, simply place your hands at your sides, and a little bit out from your hips if you need to balance.[2] If the skirt is especially long or voluminous, however, take the edges of your skirt between the thumb and first two fingers on each hand, with the pinkies extended. Gently pull the skirt out to each side.- Note that if you don’t need to hold your skirt to prevent it from touching the ground, gathering it in your hands may be perceived as overly theatrical, or even mocking. Best to play it safe and keep your hands at your sides if you’re unsure.
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Extend your right foot 4–8 inches (10–20 cm) behind the left. Shift your weight to your left foot. Then, bring your right foot behind the heel of your left, so that the ball of your right foot rests on the ground slightly outside of your left foot. Keep your right foot about 4–8 inches (10–20 cm) from your left—or however far apart you need to keep your balance.- When curtsying to royalty, using either foot is generally acceptable. In other contexts, always bring your right foot back.
Bend your knees and hold the curtsy position for 1-2 seconds. Lower yourself down into a curtsy, bending your knees slightly outward, rather than straight forward. Just a slight bend will do; lower yourself about 4–6 inches (10–15 cm), and remain there for 1-2 seconds. Keep your back straight and avoid leaning forward so as not to stick out your rear.[3]- Curtsy slightly lower and hold it slightly longer to show greater respect.
Straighten your knees slowly and return to a standing position. Slowly and gracefully return to an upright position, lowering your hands back to your sides and raising your head as you do so.[4] Avoid bobbing or shooting straight back up, which is a bit awkward and puts you at risk of losing your balance.- This curtsy is also known as a “British Lady Curtsy,” and a subtle, quick version of it is performed by British royalty. Nowadays, foreigners and members of the British public aren’t expected to curtsy for royalty.[5]
Court curtsy: Extend your right foot forward, then draw it in a wide circle behind your left, resting on the ball of the foot. Keeping your back straight and your head lowered, bend your knees outward. Bow your head slightly and keep lowering yourself down until your right knee almost touches the ground. Stay in that position for 1-2 seconds, then slowly raise yourself back to an upright position.[6]- Do this curtsy after performing for an audience, or to thank attendees for coming when hosting a formal event.
- This is a somewhat antiquated curtsy used to show respect and deference to members of royalty, usually from European countries.
Ballet curtsy: Begin with your heels together and your toes pointed out. Take a step to your right, place your right foot behind your left, and bend your knees with your arms out. Then, step to your left, and perform another curtsy like the first.[7]- Also known as a révérence, this is an elegant curtsy performed at the end of a performance or class to show gratitude to the audience, the pianist, or the instructor.
- Often, the actual curtsy is preceded by a few theatrics, or a small dance that varies from ballet company to ballet company.
Texas dip: Raise your arms out in front of you at shoulder height, then extend them out to the sides as you cross your left leg behind your right. Keeping your back straight and your arms extended to the sides, bend your knees and lower yourself down into a deep curtsy. When you can go no further, gently drop down onto your behind.[8]- Once sitting, lean forward until your forehead nearly touches the floor. At this point, some debutantes will turn their head to the right to avoid getting lipstick on their gown.
- Keeping your back bent, raise your head to look at the audience—and don't forget to smile!
- Finally, grab your escort's hand and slowly and gracefully raise yourself back to a standing position.
- The "Texas dip" is an elaborate curtsy performed by debutantes from the state of Texas during the International Debutante Ball.
Stand with your spine straight and chin tucked back. Standing like a lady is all about being as tall as possible. Pretend there’s a string tied to the top of your head, and that it’s gently pulling you upward. Keep your shoulders back to align your spine.[9] In addition, tense your abs inward to help keep your midsection straight.- Hold your hands behind your back, or clasped in front of your with your elbows slightly bent.
Walk with long strides, stepping with one foot in front of the other. To walk like a lady, pretend you’re walking on a balance beam, and keep each stride a little more than the length of 1 foot in front of you. There’s no need for fancy struts, but if you feel up to it, swing your hips just a little bit along with the natural shift of your weight as you walk.[10]- Remember to keep your back straight! A lady is never caught slouching.
Sit with your legs together and angled to the side. To sit like a lady, first brush your skirt down along your rear as you’re sitting, to make sure it falls over the front of your chair. Then, keep your knees together, with one foot resting behind the ankle of the other. Finally, angle your legs so that your feet touch the floor near one of the legs of the chair.- If you’re wearing a gown or a short skirt, don’t cross your legs, but do angle them. Otherwise, you might reveal too much skin.
Community Q&A
- QuestionWhat can ladies in wheelchairs do in lieu of a curtsy?
Community AnswerLadies in wheelchairs can politely bob their head instead of a curtsy. - QuestionHow do I curtsy if I am wearing trousers?Community AnswerDo everything the same, just don't pull out your "skirts." Leave your arms at your sides, and do the leg motions.
- QuestionTo which female royals do I need to curtsy?
Community AnswerYou would usually curtsy to a queen, a princess, a duchess, and occasionally a lady of the court.
Video
Tips
- If you don’t have the balance for a curtsy or otherwise aren’t able, bow slightly at the waist and nod your head, instead, which is a traditional royal greeting among men.Thanks
- In other contexts, girls may curtsey when being introduced to visitors for the first time, and girls in Catholic schools might curtsy to the nuns in order to show respect.Thanks
Expert Interview
Thanks for reading our article! If you'd like to learn more about being polite, check out our in-depth interview with Tami Claytor.
References
- ↑ https://www.businessinsider.com/14-etiquette-rules-the-royal-family-must-always-follow-2017-8#make-your-curtsy-subtle-2
- ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lJ6gyRQ0VRU&t=117s
- ↑ https://www.thisisinsider.com/14-etiquette-rules-the-royal-family-must-always-follow-2017-8
- ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lJ6gyRQ0VRU&t=126s
- ↑ https://www.washingtonpost.com/advice/2023/02/20/miss-manners-american-curtsying-foreign-royal/
- ↑ https://www.edwardianpromenade.com/etiquette/how-to-curtsey-at-a-court-presentation/
- ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=umE8qH_d9Zo&t=68s
- ↑ https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-45126243
- ↑ https://style.time.com/2013/02/06/how-to-walk-like-a-model-in-four-easy-steps-qa-with-casting-director-natalie-joos/
About This Article
To perform a simple curtsy, start by bending your head forward at a slight nod. Then, use your hands to pull your skirt out to the sides. Once you've gripped your skirt, extend your pinkies while simultaneously shifting most of your weight to your left foot. Rest the ball of your right foot a few inches behind your left foot, then bend your knees to lower yourself into a curtsy bow. To finish, stand upright in a graceful motion, and smile. To learn how to do a ballerina curtsy or the “Texas dip,” or to curtsy before the Queen of England, read on!
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"I'm now an 18 year old girl. While I doubt that all eligible gentlemen are going to suddenly start begging my mother for permission to marry me or my twin sister any time soon, I have a good feeling that the tips given here will come in very handy for when I meet my future in-laws and wish to show them that I am a sophisticated and polite young lady. "..." more
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