This article was co-authored by Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW. Kelli Miller is a Psychotherapist based in Los Angeles, California. Kelli specializes in individual and couples therapy focusing on relationships, depression, anxiety, sexuality, communication, parenting, and more. She is the author of “Love Hacks: Simple Solutions to Your Most Common Relationship Issues” which details the top 15 relationship issues and 3 quick solutions to each. She is also the award-winning and best-selling author of “Thriving with ADHD”. Kelli co-hosted an advice show on LA Talk Radio and was a relationship expert for The Examiner. She received her MSW (Masters of Social Work) from the University of Pennsylvania and a BA in Sociology/Health from the University of Florida.
There are 14 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
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It can be tricky to talk to your spouse when you're angry. Whether you're having marital conflicts or just having a bad day, you might find it hard to control your frustration or say the "right" thing. Anger doesn't need to lead to arguments and shouting matches, though. By staying calm and tuning in to how you feel, you can figure out how to talk to your spouse about what's bothering you, and find a resolution.
This article is based on an interview with our relationship expert, Kelli Miller, licensed pyschotherapist and award-winning author. Check out the full interview here.
Steps
Expert Q&A
Tips
- In some cases, it can help to defuse the situation with humor. (Make sure that you’re not mocking your spouse or making digs at them, however.)[32]Thanks
- If your spouse is in a bad mood, try to let it roll off your back rather than getting angry yourself. Focus on coming from a place of empathy.[33]Thanks
- Not everything requires you to get angry or argue with your spouse. Choose your battles wisely and know when to drop something.[34]Thanks
References
- ↑ Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW. Relationship Counselor. Expert Interview. 21 July 2020.
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/relationship-help.htm
- ↑ https://www.apa.org/topics/anger/strategies-controlling
- ↑ Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW. Relationship Counselor. Expert Interview. 21 July 2020.
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/relationship-help.htm
- ↑ Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW. Relationship Counselor. Expert Interview. 21 July 2020.
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/anger-management.htm
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/couples-thrive/202104/feeling-angry-your-spouse-lets-talk-about-it
- ↑ https://www.apa.org/topics/covid-19/strengthen-couples-relationships
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/couples-thrive/202104/feeling-angry-your-spouse-lets-talk-about-it
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/relationship-help.htm
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/couples-thrive/202104/feeling-angry-your-spouse-lets-talk-about-it
- ↑ https://www.apa.org/topics/anger/strategies-controlling
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/couples-thrive/202104/feeling-angry-your-spouse-lets-talk-about-it
- ↑ https://www.apa.org/topics/anger/control
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/some-assembly-required/201703/how-have-difficult-conversations
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/feeling-it/201709/6-ways-the-most-emotionally-intelligent-people-handle-anger
- ↑ Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW. Relationship Counselor. Expert Interview. 21 July 2020.
- ↑ https://www.apa.org/topics/anger/control
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/couples-thrive/202104/feeling-angry-your-spouse-lets-talk-about-it
- ↑ https://www.apa.org/topics/anger/control
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/relationship-help.htm
- ↑ https://www.nbcnews.com/better/lifestyle/chore-war-how-stop-fighting-about-housework-get-cleaning-done-ncna1039916
- ↑ Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW. Relationship Counselor. Expert Interview. 21 July 2020.
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fixing-families/201806/after-argument-the-right-way-make
- ↑ https://www.npr.org/2021/06/02/1002446748/youre-apologizing-all-wrong-heres-how-to-say-sorry-the-right-way
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/couples-thrive/202104/feeling-angry-your-spouse-lets-talk-about-it
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/relationship-help.htm
- ↑ https://www.apa.org/topics/anger/help
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/anger-management.htm
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/relationship-help.htm
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/anger-management.htm
- ↑ https://ideas.ted.com/3-ways-to-help-you-be-your-best-self-in-your-relationship/
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/relationship-help.htm
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