This article was co-authored by Wes Pinkston and by How.com.vn staff writer, Luke Smith, MFA. Wes Pinkston is a Certified Holistic Life Coach and the Founder of Wes Pinkston Life Coaching. With more than five years of experience, he specializes in helping people achieve greater fulfillment and understand their full potential. He received his Holistic Lifestyle Coach Certification from The CHEK Institute.
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We all make excuses or try to explain away our mistakes. But some people prefer to dodge blame altogether, and conversations with them quickly devolve into arguments that seem to go in circles. If that sounds familiar, chances are you were dealing with a blame shifter. It’s important to recognize blame shifting in your own life in order to have productive discussions, and also to avoid emotional manipulation or even abuse. We’ll fill you in on what “blame shifting” is, offer examples so you can spot the signs of a blame shifter, and give you helpful advice on how to talk to these sorts of people to avoid getting pulled into the blame game.
Things You Should Know
- Blame shifting is when a person tries to dodge responsibility for their words or actions by assigning the blame to someone else
- Blame shifters often try to blame their actions on things other than people, too, like alcohol or drugs, or negative experiences in their own past.
- Often, blame shifters also try to make the other person feel responsible by claiming that they’re too sensitive or that other people agree with the blame shifter.
Steps
Expert Q&A
Tips
- People with ADHD sometimes shift blame, too. It’s often because the person is already dealing with so much ADHD-related stress that taking the blame for their actions feels overwhelming. It’s different from abuse, and often they don’t mean to cause harm, but seeking help via counseling or therapy can often aid everyone involved.Thanks
Expert Interview
Thanks for reading our article! If you’d like to learn more about blame shifting, check out our in-depth interview with Wes Pinkston.
References
- ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6405044/
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/abuse/domestic-violence-and-abuse.htm
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/abuse/domestic-violence-and-abuse.htm
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/abuse/domestic-violence-and-abuse.htm
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/abuse/domestic-violence-and-abuse.htm
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/abuse/domestic-violence-and-abuse.htm
- ↑ https://www.thehotline.org/resources/blame-shifting-and-minimizing-theres-no-excuse-for-abuse/
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/abuse/domestic-violence-and-abuse.htm
- ↑ https://theconversation.com/its-just-a-joke-the-subtle-effects-of-offensive-language-62440
- ↑ https://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/memberarticles/have-you-ever-been-called-too-sensitive
- ↑ https://www.thehotline.org/resources/blame-shifting-and-minimizing-theres-no-excuse-for-abuse/
- ↑ https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/red-flags-are-you-being-emotionally-manipulated-0917197
- ↑ https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/red-flags-are-you-being-emotionally-manipulated-0917197
- ↑ https://www.glam.com/1278970/address-partner-shifts-blame-arguing/
- ↑ https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/red-flags-are-you-being-emotionally-manipulated-0917197
- ↑ https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/red-flags-are-you-being-emotionally-manipulated-0917197
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