The Ultimate Guide to What Promise Rings Symbolize

When your boyfriend brings up exchanging promise rings, you feel a rush of excitement and then confusion—what exactly does a promise ring mean, again? Whether you’re thinking about accepting a promise ring or surprising your significant other with one, we’ve got you covered. Follow along with us as we answer all your questions, from what promise rings signify, how they’re worn, how to give them, what they look like, and where they come from!

Things You Should Know

A promise ring is a symbol of your commitment and loyalty to your partner. It can be a promise to get engaged or a sign that your relationship is serious.
There are no rules on who can give or wear a promise ring. In fact, many couples exchange rings with each other.
Gift your partner a promise ring when you are serious and committed. Give it to them on an anniversary or holiday and tell them what it means to you.

Section 1 of 9:

Meaning of Promise Rings

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Traditionally, a promise ring is seen as a pre-engagement ring. A couple that is serious and knows marriage is down the line might give each other promise rings if they feel too young to get engaged, aren’t financially ready, or are currently long-distance.^{[1]XResearch source}
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A promise ring’s meaning is unique to the couple and relationship. Ultimately, a promise ring symbolizes the bond between a couple and means whatever they want it to. Some couples might view a promise ring as a sign that they’re more serious than just dating, while other couples might see them as symbols of love and commitment if they don’t want to get married.^{[2]XResearch source}
- Promise rings can also be worn between friends to demonstrate their strong, everlasting bond and importance to each other.

Section 2 of 9:

Who gives and receives a promise ring?

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There are no rules when it comes to who can receive or give a promise ring. While it’s traditional for men to give the rings and women to wear them in heterosexual relationships, many couples actually exchange promise rings. This way, each partner has a symbol of their love and loyalty to show to the world.^{[3]XResearch source}

Section 3 of 9:

How and When to Give a Promise Ring

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Give your partner the promise ring on a special anniversary or holiday. Promise rings are less formal than engagement rings, but they’re still a serious sign of your commitment to your partner. While you don’t need to plan an elaborate event, make the occasion special by giving the promise ring to your partner on their birthday or your anniversary, or on a holiday like Christmas, New Year’s, or Valentine’s Day.^{[4]XResearch source}
- Pick a place that’s significant to your relationship and fits your vibe as a couple. This might be privately at home, where you had your first date, or on your favorite hike.
- Or, whisk your partner away on a candlelit dinner date or getaway.
- There’s no amount of time you and your partner have to date before you give them a promise ring. You just need to be on the same page about your commitment to one another and the seriousness of your relationship.
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Explain what the promise ring means to you and the relationship. Speak from the heart and say what the ring symbolizes when you present it to your partner. For example, you might say something like, “I’m giving you this promise ring as a symbol of my devotion and loyalty to you,” or “I love you so much and I plan to marry you one day. This ring symbolizes my promise.”^{[5]XResearch source}
- Keep your declaration simple, or prepare a longer speech. You might write a poem, share a quote, or tell a story that illustrates your love and devotion.
- Be clear that the ring is not an engagement ring. Avoid getting down on 1 knee or just presenting the ring so your partner doesn’t assume it’s a proposal!

Section 4 of 9:

What finger do you wear promise rings on?

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Wear your promise ring on whichever finger feels right to you. Many people choose to wear their promise ring on the left or right-hand ring finger to make it clear they are committed and loyal to their partner. However, it’s perfectly acceptable to wear your ring on your thumb pinky, middle, or index finger on either hand.^{[6]XResearch source}
- Alternatively, place your ring on a chain and wear it as a necklace.
- When you’re buying a promise ring for your partner, figure out which finger they prefer and what size ring they wear.

Section 5 of 9:

What do promise rings look like?

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The style of the promise ring depends on you and your partner’s tastes. There is no set design when it comes to promise rings—it just comes down to what you like. If the ring is a promise of an eventual proposal, choose one that’s less ornate than a traditional engagement ring to keep the rings distinct. Some popular styles are:^{[7]XResearch source}
- Heart rings
- Infinity rings
- Claddagh rings
- Birthstone rings
- Simple gold or silver bands
- Small diamond rings
- Colorful gem or cluster rings
- Intertwining designs, like circles

Section 6 of 9:

How much do you spend on promise rings?

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You usually spend less on a promise ring than on an engagement ring, though your budget is completely up to you. If you have the desire and means to spare no expense for your partner, go for it! Otherwise, don’t worry about breaking the bank; a simple ring is enough to represent your love, loyalty, and devotion.^{[8]XResearch source}

Section 7 of 9:

What do you do with a promise ring after you get engaged?

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Keep wearing it or take it off after you get engaged. Essentially, what you do with your promise ring after you get engaged is completely up to you. If you were wearing it on your left ring finger, you might stack it with your engagement and wedding rings, or move it to a different finger. Or, store it in your jewelry box and simply wear it on special occasions.^{[9]XResearch source}
- As another alternative, wear it around your neck as a necklace.
- Or, wear it as your engagement ring when you’re traveling to keep your real ring safe.

Section 8 of 9:

Differences Between Promise, Purity, Eternity, and Engagement Rings

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Purity rings are a promise to yourself to stay chaste and abstinent. In general, a purity ring represents your commitment to staying a virgin until you get married. Unlike promise rings, it's traditional for either your parents to give you a purity ring, or for you to gift one to yourself.^{[10]XResearch source}
- A promise ring can also symbolize your pledge to stay abstinent, but it is typically a shared promise between you and your partner.
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Eternity rings represent everlasting love among married couples. An eternity ring is also a symbol of a couple’s commitment, loyalty, and devotion. However, they’re different from promise rings because they’re usually exchanged between couples who are already married as a sign of their continued promise to always love each other.^{[11]XResearch source}
- You might give your partner an eternity ring on a significant anniversary, like being married for 10, 20, or 30 years.
- Or, you might give an eternity ring to celebrate a special event, like having a baby.
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Engagement rings signify you and your partner’s plan to marry soon. An engagement ring is a classic, romantic symbol of you and your partner’s love and commitment. Its presence on your finger is a signal to others that you and your partner are making wedding preparations and are going to get married in the near future.^{[12]XResearch source}
- While promise rings are often called pre-engagement rings, wearing one is usually a sign that an engagement is something the couple is heading towards in the distant future.

Section 9 of 9:

History of Promise Rings

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Promise rings date all the way back to Rome in the 4th century CE. The first romantic rings symbolizing devotion, loyalty, and a promise to marry were worn by the ancient Romans. In the 1600s, rings inscribed with sweet love poems, called posy rings, gained popularity.^{[13]XResearch source} Then, in the 1800s, acrostic rings were all the rage; these jewel-encrusted rings spelled out romantic words using the first letter of each gem.^{[14]XResearch source}
- Promise rings weren’t officially named until the 1900s, which is when they started gaining popularity.