7 Possible Signs of Female Bisexuality

Look for these subtle cues she might be into other women

Maybe your gal pal is dating a dude, but you swear there’s electricity between you—or maybe you’re wondering if the hottie you recently met is flirting with you, or if it’s all your imagination? We sat down with Dr. Marissa Floro, Ph.D., a psychologist and professor at Stanford University’s Weiland Health Initiative, to get some insight into the possible signs a woman might be into other women. There’s no surefire way to tell if someone is bisexual or gay, but there are a few subtle and overt signs she might lean more lesbian than you (or even she) realized. We've listed them, below.

Things You Should Know

Notice if she seems attracted in some way to other women or goes out of her way to be around them.
Ask her casually about her past dating experience or celebrity crushes to find out if she has had any feelings for women before.
Look at whether her body language becomes more open or expressive around other women, or if she makes prolonged eye contact with them.

1

She shows open attraction towards women.

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Checking out other ladies could mean she’s into them. Does she always notice other women’s looks and comment on them in a sexualized way?^{[1]XExpert SourceMarissa Floro, PhD
Counseling PsychologistExpert Interview. 1 April 2021.} If she seems to generally appreciate women, including their sex appeal, there is a chance she’s bisexual—although she could just love and admire other women in a platonic way (we stan a girl’s girl). Remember that there are different types of attraction, including:
- Romantic attraction: Wanting to be romantic with someone
- Sexual attraction: Wanting to be sexual with someone
- Platonic attraction: Wanting to be friends with someone
- Sensual attraction: Wanting to cuddle and hug someone
- Aesthetic attraction: Liking how someone physically looks
- Recognize that it’s possible she’s attracted to women but doesn’t realize she’s bisexual. Women can be attracted to other women without formally identifying as queer—this is not an uncommon phenomenon.

2

She gives off a “vibe.”

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Go with your intuition. “Gaydar” isn’t a thing, but also, it kinda is: sometimes your intuition can tell when someone is into someone else. However, don’t bank on this, as intuition can be wrong.
- While intuition can be correct, avoid assuming she’s bi just because she “seems” bi: not conforming to traditional notions of “femininity” doesn’t mean she’s not straight—and on the flipside, being overly “feminine” doesn’t mean she’s not queer.
  - Floro agrees: "Some assumptions lead folks to align with [certain] gender and attraction stereotypes or binaries that I think a lot of folks are trying to get away from."^{[2]XExpert SourceMarissa Floro, PhD
    Counseling PsychologistExpert Interview. 1 April 2021.}
- Society encourages women to develop emotional closeness to one another. For some, this can spill over into attraction. Realize that sexuality can be very fluid, especially for women.^{[3]XResearch source}
- It's also possible for platonic female relationships to seem like romantic relationships, even when they're not, because they often involve more emotional and physical intimacy than male friendships do.

3

She doesn’t talk about her relationship history.

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If she’s private about her sexuality, she may not be open about past relationships. Some bisexual women are open about their sexuality, but others may not feel comfortable disclosing their sexuality to others.^{[4]XResearch source} If the woman in question avoids talking about past relationships, it’s possible—but by no means proof—that she’s into women and is private about it.
- Alternatively, if she does talk about past relationships, notice what pronouns she uses to talk about previous partners: “My last partner loved New York, so we went there for her birthday.”^{[5]XExpert SourceMarissa Floro, PhD
  Counseling PsychologistExpert Interview. 1 April 2021.}
- Keep in mind that if she has dated or is currently dating a man, it doesn’t mean she isn’t bisexual, and she doesn’t have to have dated a woman in order to be bisexual.
- At the same time, not having much of a relationship history or not being open about past dating experiences doesn’t automatically mean she’s into women—she just might not date much or might be a generally private person.

4

Her celebrity crushes are women.

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Crushing on famous women may indicate she’s not totally straight. Ask which celebrity she has a crush on, and see if she names a woman. Or ask directly which female celebrity she finds the most attractive, and why, and see how she responds.^{[6]XExpert SourceMarissa Floro, PhD
Counseling PsychologistExpert Interview. 1 April 2021.}
- Know the difference between bisexuality and being sexually open. People can be open and interested in certain sexual experiences without identifying in a particular way.^{[7]XExpert SourceMarissa Floro, PhD
  Counseling PsychologistExpert Interview. 1 April 2021.}

5

She’s very active in LGBTQ spaces.

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Being immersed in LGBTQ culture could indicate she isn’t straight. Does she attend Pride every year without fail? Does she repost a lot of content from gay celebrities? Does she frequent gay bars? Advocacy and being involved in the queer community doesn’t automatically mean she’s queer herself, but it very well could.^{[8]XExpert SourceMarissa Floro, PhD
Counseling PsychologistExpert Interview. 1 April 2021.}
- If possible, notice how many of her friends are queer as well—again, it’s not a surefire sign she’s bi, but it could be.
- Floro advises "[dropping] hints into conversation...like, let's say there's a known lesbian bar or like a known area where [queer] folks kind of like hang out and say, 'Oh, have you been [there]?'" If she says no, it doesn't automatically mean she's not bi, but if she says yes, there's a good possibility she is.^{[9]XExpert SourceMarissa Floro, PhD
  Counseling PsychologistExpert Interview. 1 April 2021.}

6

She displays open body language towards women.

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Her stance and movements may shed light on her sexuality. Check out her body language when she’s around other women: does she seem giddy or nervous? Does she seem to get closer to some women and display open body language? If she’s into a woman, she might face here body towards her, keep her arms uncrossed, and maintain eye contact.
- What’s her mood like when she sees you or other women? If she becomes giddy, extra happy, and full of smiles, that’s a good sign.
- If she seems jealous when you or other women spend time with other friends, that could be a sign she’s interested.
- Is she trying to get you alone or does she only hang out with you when other friends are along? If she’s always trying to get you alone, it might mean she’s into you.
- Listen to her tone and inflection. People who are socialized as female are often taught to lift up their tone at the end of a sentence, especially when talking to friends. However, some women do this when they’re flirting.^{[10]XExpert SourceMarissa Floro, PhD
  Counseling PsychologistExpert Interview. 1 April 2021.}

7

She tells you she identifies as bi.

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In the end, the only person who knows for sure if she’s bi is her. Real big brain answer here, but it has to be said: if she tells you she’s bisexual, odds are she is, in fact, bisexual. There might be countless other “signs” she’s into women, and you may even suspect she’s bi without knowing it, but in the end, all of the various hints you might pick up don’t really amount to anything unless she herself identifies as being into women.
- If you feel comfortable, feel free to ask something like “How do you identify?” But always try to read the conversation and situation before asking someone about their sexuality. In some cases, it might be inappropriate or unsafe.^{[11]XExpert SourceMarissa Floro, PhD
  Counseling PsychologistExpert Interview. 1 April 2021.}
- If you identify as queer yourself, sharing and disclosing that information yourself (if you feel comfortable doing so) may make her feel comfortable disclosing how she identifies.^{[12]XExpert SourceMarissa Floro, PhD
  Counseling PsychologistExpert Interview. 1 April 2021.}
- If you identify as queer but don’t feel comfortable disclosing that directly, try mentioning it indirectly. You could say something like “My ex-girlfriend and I broke up because…”^{[13]XExpert SourceMarissa Floro, PhD
  Counseling PsychologistExpert Interview. 1 April 2021.}

Expert Q&A

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Question
Can I assume that someone with a rainbow pride pin is bisexual?
Marissa Floro, PhD
Counseling Psychologist
Dr. Marissa Floro, Ph.D. is a Psychologist and Instructor at Stanford University’s Weiland Health Initiative and adjunct faculty at the University of San Francisco. Dr. Floro received her Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology from Loyola University Chicago, focusing on the intersections of race, attraction, and gender. Dr. Floro’s continued clinical, teaching, and advocacy work focuses on sexual and gender diversity, racial identity and belonging, and liberation from oppressive systems and structures.
Marissa Floro, PhD
Counseling Psychologist
Expert Answer
They may not necessarily be bisexual, but it's probably reasonable to assume that they may be LGBTQ+. They could just be a cisgender and heterosexual ally, but it's not a crazy assumption to make.
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Question
Why are some women not more open about being bisexual?
Marissa Floro, PhD
Counseling Psychologist
Dr. Marissa Floro, Ph.D. is a Psychologist and Instructor at Stanford University’s Weiland Health Initiative and adjunct faculty at the University of San Francisco. Dr. Floro received her Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology from Loyola University Chicago, focusing on the intersections of race, attraction, and gender. Dr. Floro’s continued clinical, teaching, and advocacy work focuses on sexual and gender diversity, racial identity and belonging, and liberation from oppressive systems and structures.
Marissa Floro, PhD
Counseling Psychologist
Expert Answer
There is a lot of cruelty and bigotry out there towards people who are LGBTQ+. As a result, the people in these communities often play things close to the chest so to speak, since it's a way of protecting yourself from the intolerant people in the world.
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Question
It's really hard to figure out if I'm talking to another bi person. How can I get better at this?
Marissa Floro, PhD
Counseling Psychologist
Dr. Marissa Floro, Ph.D. is a Psychologist and Instructor at Stanford University’s Weiland Health Initiative and adjunct faculty at the University of San Francisco. Dr. Floro received her Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology from Loyola University Chicago, focusing on the intersections of race, attraction, and gender. Dr. Floro’s continued clinical, teaching, and advocacy work focuses on sexual and gender diversity, racial identity and belonging, and liberation from oppressive systems and structures.
Marissa Floro, PhD
Counseling Psychologist
Expert Answer
Your intuition is going to improve with this over time. It can be hard at first, but as you keep meeting more and more people, you'll naturally start getting better at picking up on the hints people drop.
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Tips

Remember—although it’s getting easier, it can be hard for people to admit they are bisexual to families and friends or even themselves.^{[14]XResearch source}
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Avoid easy labels. They often don't capture the full humanity of a person anyway.
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Ask yourself why it's your business to know. Sexuality is a very personal thing. If you're interested in her romantically yourself, that's one thing. If you're just being nosy, that's another.
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