This article was co-authored by Tami Claytor and by How.com.vn staff writer, Eric McClure. Tami Claytor is an Etiquette Coach, Image Consultant, and the Owner of Always Appropriate Image and Etiquette Consulting in New York, New York. With over 20 years of experience, Tami specializes in teaching etiquette classes to individuals, students, companies, and community organizations. Tami has spent decades studying cultures through her extensive travels across five continents and has created cultural diversity workshops to promote social justice and cross-cultural awareness. She holds a BA in Economics with a concentration in International Relations from Clark University. Tami studied at the Ophelia DeVore School of Charm and the Fashion Institute of Technology, where she earned her Image Consultant Certification.
There are 13 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
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The word “gentleman” is often associated with men in fancy top hats, with monocles and exquisite mustaches. While you can certainly break out the Victorian formalwear and grow a sweet ‘stache if you’d like, being a true gentleman is really all about how you treat people—not what you look like. If you feel like improving yourself and becoming the most respectful, kind-hearted person you can be, then you can become a modern gentleman.
Here are 12 ways you can be a gentleman in the twenty-first century.
Steps
Expert Q&A
- QuestionHow can I dress more mature?Tami ClaytorTami Claytor is an Etiquette Coach, Image Consultant, and the Owner of Always Appropriate Image and Etiquette Consulting in New York, New York. With over 20 years of experience, Tami specializes in teaching etiquette classes to individuals, students, companies, and community organizations. Tami has spent decades studying cultures through her extensive travels across five continents and has created cultural diversity workshops to promote social justice and cross-cultural awareness. She holds a BA in Economics with a concentration in International Relations from Clark University. Tami studied at the Ophelia DeVore School of Charm and the Fashion Institute of Technology, where she earned her Image Consultant Certification.
Etiquette CoachHaving clothes that fit correctly is absolutely essential to dressing in a mature, gentlemanly way. If your clothes are way too tight or baggy, it's just not going to make you look like an adult. Also, iron your clothes! So many younger people just wear wrinkly clothes, and it doesn't make you look particularly mature. - QuestionHow do I manage narrow stairs or narrow pavements? Even just with a friend or family member, having to queue while talking and walking is awkward at best.Community AnswerWhen descending narrow stairs, the male always goes first. This way, if the woman behind him trips, she will fall on him and he will cushion her. The reverse scenario is for ascending narrow stairs, the woman goes first so she will fall back onto the man behind her.
- QuestionShould a man walk ahead of or behind a woman on stairs?Community AnswerOn a wide staircase, ladies first, but only stay a step or so behind her so that conversation can continue. On a narrow staircase: If going down, man first. If the woman falls forward, he will cushion her. If going up, woman first, so that if she falls back, the man will cushion her fall.
Video
Tips
Warnings
- Some of the old-school habits of gentlemen may not go over so well today. People are perfectly capable of ordering for themselves at restaurants, and many women find the title “lady” to be insulting, not endearing. Even if you mean well, be aware of how your actions may be seen by other people.[16]Thanks
References
- ↑ https://www.jbnproject.com/news/what-is-a-gentleman-in-this-day-and-age
- ↑ https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/the-reasons-for-good-manners/2011/01/28/ABMsoiF_story.html
- ↑ https://www.gq-magazine.co.uk/article/how-to-be-a-modern-gentleman
- ↑ https://www.artofmanliness.com/articles/heading-out-on-your-own-day-17-essential-etiquette-for-young-men/
- ↑ https://www.irishtimes.com/life-and-style/people/being-a-man-is-quite-scary-readers-tell-us-what-is-hard-about-being-male-in-2018-1.3700202
- ↑ Tami Claytor. Etiquette Coach. Expert Interview. 29 September 2020.
- ↑ https://www.nytimes.com/2018/04/12/learning/lesson-plans/boys-to-men-teaching-and-learning-about-masculinity-in-an-age-of-change.html
- ↑ https://www.independent.co.uk/voices/top-10-misattributed-quotations-a7910361.html
- ↑ https://www.nytimes.com/2018/04/12/learning/lesson-plans/boys-to-men-teaching-and-learning-about-masculinity-in-an-age-of-change.html
- ↑ https://www.gq-magazine.co.uk/article/how-to-be-a-modern-gentleman
- ↑ https://www.gentlemansgazette.com/gentleman-what-it-means-today/
- ↑ https://www.columbiatribune.com/story/news/2020/09/30/science-of-toxic-online-comments/114167254/
- ↑ https://www.askmen.com/dating/dating_advice/how-to-use-social-media-like-a-gentleman.html
- ↑ https://www.gq-magazine.co.uk/article/how-to-deal-with-rejection
- ↑ https://www.gq-magazine.co.uk/article/how-to-be-a-modern-gentleman
- ↑ https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2011/nov/03/southern-gentility
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