Download ArticleDownload ArticleThis article was co-authored by Lisa Shield and by How.com.vn staff writer, Bailey Cho. Lisa Shield is a love and relationship expert based in Los Angeles. She has a Master's degree in Spiritual Psychology and is a certified life and relationship coach with over 17 years of experience. Lisa has been featured in The Huffington Post, Buzzfeed, LA Times, and Cosmopolitan.
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Relationships end for many reasons, but the worst breakups happen when you don’t understand what went wrong. If you can’t figure out why your partner called it quits, how can you get closure and move on in life? In this article, we’re providing a list of burning breakup questions you can ask your ex to understand your relationship in retrospect. Whether you want to get over your ex (or get them back), keep reading to begin the healing process and become an even better partner.
Things You Should Know
- To gain closure from your relationship, ask your ex about what caused your breakup, and determine how you might have contributed to relationship issues.
- Discuss the biggest lesson you learned from your relationship to accept responsibility for your behavior and move forward.
- If you want to get your ex back, bring up good memories to spark an emotional connection, or ask them about their feelings to see where you two stand.
Steps
Expert Q&A
Tips
- If your ex responds to you in a hurtful way when you try to get closure, understand that their behavior isn’t a reflection of you or your relationship. Remember that true closure comes from within, but if you're having trouble coming to terms with your breakup, talk to a trusted friend or therapist.[3]Thanks
- If your ex refuses to speak to you, write a goodbye letter addressed to them. Don’t send it, but use it as a way to process your emotions and heal from your relationship.[4]Thanks
- If you don’t want to get back with your ex (but they do), establish boundaries with them. Clearly communicate the behavior you aren’t going to accept, and be as specific as possible. For example, if they keep contacting you, you could say, “I’ve already told you that I don’t want to speak to you. If you call me one more time, I’m going to block you.”Thanks
Expert Interview
Thanks for reading our article! If you’d like to learn more about relationships, check out our in-depth interview with Lisa Shield.
References
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/insight-is-2020/202108/the-biggest-mistake-people-make-after-breakup
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/insight-is-2020/202108/the-biggest-mistake-people-make-after-breakup
- ↑ https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/closer-to-closure-10-tips-for-moving-on-after-getting-dumped-0811157
- ↑ https://www.hercampus.com/wellness/how-get-closure-after-breakup
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