How to Overcome Nervousness

Many people get nervous before a big presentation, business meeting, or an upcoming date. Nervousness can get the best of us and can be hard to avoid for some, but with some practice anyone can overcome it. Follow a few simple steps to overcome nervousness about a big event or in daily life.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Handling Nerve-Wracking Situations

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1
Practice whatever makes you nervous. If you are nervous about public speaking, flirting on dates, or doing a good job at work practice can make you more confident and alleviate nerves. The more experience you have, the more used to the situation you will feel—and that can go a long way toward alleviating your anxiety.^{[1]XExpert SourceDonna Novak, Psy.D
Licensed Clinical PsychologistExpert Interview. 9 December 2020.}
- If you are nervous about dating, try getting a friend to go on a practice date with you. Go to the place where you plan to have your date and practice having conversations and doing the activities you will do on the date.
- If you are nervous about public speaking, seek out opportunities to practice talking in public. Volunteer to talk in your class at school when there are opportunities. Attend a public meeting and voice your opinion. Join a public speaking organization. The more you get a chance to practice, the less nervous you will be.
2
Prepare in advance. Preparation for the specific task that makes you nervous will make you feel ready and self-assured.^{[2]XExpert SourceDonna Novak, Psy.D
Licensed Clinical PsychologistExpert Interview. 9 December 2020.}
- If you're nervous about a big test, study as much as you can. That will help you feel confident instead of anxious.^{[3]XExpert SourceDonna Novak, Psy.D
  Licensed Clinical PsychologistExpert Interview. 9 December 2020.}
- For a job interview, do research on the company and the position so you can speak knowledgeably. Try to think of some potential questions that may come up and plan out your answers in advance.
- For a date, think about questions you can ask your date about themselves. If there are any lulls in conversation you can have an interesting question ready and not have to come up with things to say.
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3
Think positively. Visualize yourself doing well and not being nervous. Walk through the event that makes you nervous in your head and imagine yourself calm and successful.
- Treat yourself with compassion. Remember your body is actually doing what it's supposed to do! Our brains are meant to think and respond to stressful scenarios, so try to view nervousness positively instead of trying to feel bad about being nervous.^{[4]XExpert SourceTracy Carver, PhD
  Licensed PsychologistExpert Interview. 12 January 2021.}
- For a date, imagine the date going well and that you both are relaxed and having a good time.
- For a big speech, visualize yourself in front of your audience. Think about yourself giving a relaxed and successful presentation. See your audience enjoying your speech.
- Things like deep breathing or repeating a mantra to yourself can help you put yourself in a more positive mindset.^{[5]XExpert SourceDonna Novak, Psy.D
  Licensed Clinical PsychologistExpert Interview. 9 December 2020.}
4
Relax your body. Try to relax yourself ahead of time to reduce nervousness. Take a few minutes before situations that make you nervous and try to work out your nervous energy and get relaxed.
- Focus on small areas of tightness in your body (like your jaw or shoulders). Let that tension go.^{[6]XExpert SourceTracy Carver, PhD
  Licensed PsychologistExpert Interview. 12 January 2021.}
- Try sitting in a dark, quiet room to calm your mind.
- Progressively relax your body. Tighten and then relax each of your muscles. Start at the top of your body and work your way down. Tighten your shoulder muscles then relax them. Tighten your arm muscles then relax them, and so on.
- Go for a walk to get out some nervous energy and clear your mind.
5
Concentrate on your breathing.^{[7]XExpert SourceNicolette Tura, MA
Empowerment ExpertExpert Interview. 23 January 2020.} Try to think about your breathing and take slow, deep breaths.
- Thinking about breathing slowly not only calms you down physically, but can also distract you from your nervousness.
- Take ten deep breaths while thinking about the air moving in through your nose, filling your lungs, and moving out through your mouth. This might make you feel focused and calm.
6
Reduce sweating from nervousness. Use some simple steps to avoid sweating too much when you are nervous.
- Wear cooler clothes.
- Use a strong antiperspirant.
- Avoid wearing hats.
7
Reduce nervous movements. Even if you feel nervous try not to fidget around nervously.
- Stand still instead of shifting your weight from side to side.
- Hold your hands loosely at your sides instead of making nervous gestures.
- Hold a pen in your hand if it helps you remember not to fidget.
8
Rationalize the situation. Often, your thoughts about an upcoming event will be much worse than what will actually happen. Ask yourself why you are nervous and whether your feelings are really founded. Think about what could really go wrong and consider that the worst outcome you imagine would not be so bad.
- Try to reframe your thoughts by asking yourself what is the worst that can happen. Picture that outcome, and ask yourself if you could survive should the scenario occur.
Others can not tell how nervous you are so don't worry about appearing too nervous. Often people feel much more nervous than they appear.

Quiz

How.com.vn Quiz: Do I Have Social Anxiety?

Your mouth goes dry in conversation, your mind goes blank at parties, and speeches are your biggest fear. Are these normal social nerves, or are they something more? To diagnose social anxiety, you’ll need to visit the doctor. But this quiz can help you compare your experience to the disorder’s official symptoms list. By answering a few simple questions, you can better understand yourself, your social nature, and your best route forward.

1 of 12

In groups, how often do you worry people are judging you?

Very Often.

Often.

Sometimes.

Never.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Handling General Nervousness

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1
Get more exercise. Getting regular aerobic exercise is an easy and effective way to overcome nervousness. Exercise reduces physical tension in muscles, produces relaxing neurotransmitters, and burns stress hormones. Even 20 minutes of aerobic exercise can help burn off extra cortisol and reduce your stress.^{[8]XResearch source}
- Try meditation or yoga.^{[9]XExpert SourceTracy Carver, PhD
  Licensed PsychologistExpert Interview. 12 January 2021.} These activities are based on relaxation and they are good sources of exercise.
- Take up a sport.
- Join a gym.
- Go out for walks or bicycle rides.
2
Try journaling. Writing in a journal can help you overcome nervousness by making it easier to collect and confront nervous thoughts.^{[10]XExpert SourceNicolette Tura, MA
Empowerment ExpertExpert Interview. 23 January 2020.} If you think about what makes you nervous and keep track of it in your journal, you'll have a better sense of when and why you get nervous.^{[11]XResearch source}
- Journaling can also help you work out nervous thoughts head of time on paper so that you are less nervous in your actions.
- Chronicling your nervous thoughts can help put them in perspective. Look back over things you were nervous about and think how well they turned out in the end.
3
Practice mindfulness. The more you are able to focus on the present moment, the less your mind will concentrate on "what-if" situations. Practice mindfulness in everyday situations by focusing on what is directly around you and clearing your head of noise and invasive thoughts.^{[12]XResearch sourcepsychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/06/03/new-to-mindfulness-how-to-get-started/}
4
Drink less caffeine. Caffeine is known to make people feel nervous and jittery. Try to avoid drinks with caffeine, especially before an event you are nervous about or late at night.
- Instead of coffee and caffeinated teas, try drinking a calming herbal tea.
- Avoid sodas with caffeine.
- Energy drinks are very high in caffeine.
Loss of sleep can be a major trigger for nervousness, so making sure you are well rested is important.^{[13]XResearch source}

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Seeking Help

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If your nervousness prevents you from doing things you want to do in your daily life you may need to seek help from a therapist or psychologist.^{[14]XExpert SourceTracy Carver, PhD
Licensed PsychologistExpert Interview. 12 January 2021.}
Talk to a friend, parent, or mentor about your nervousness. Talking about what makes you nervous can help alleviate some of your anxiety. Your friend may share similar stories about nervousness and have some ideas on good ways to cope.
3
Speak with a professional. A professional therapist or psychologist can help you overcome more problematic nervousness using medication or therapy.^{[15]XResearch source} Some solutions to discuss with a professional include:
- Medication to reduce stress or anxiety.
- Techniques to be more aware of stress or nervousness.
- Breathing techniques to reduce nervousness.
- Relaxation strategies to reduce bodily symptoms of nervousness.
- Techniques for how to think about your nervousness and confront it or distract yourself.
- Managing nervousness through slow exposure to anxiety inducing situations
- Problem-solving strategies for confronting nervousness.
- Methods for coping with setbacks.

Expert Q&A

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Question
How can I calm my nerves before performing?
Nicolette Tura, MA
Empowerment Expert
Nicolette Tura is an Empowerment Expert based in the San Francisco Bay Area. She holds a decade of experience creating change in various non-profits then went on to operate her own wellness business for 10 years. Most recently, she worked as a Therapy Associate to a chiropractic neurologist for 15 months working hands-on with patients, helping them heal from neurological disorders like concussions, long covid, migraines, and more. Nicolette guides groups and individuals on transformative meditation journeys and game-changing mindset management workshops and retreats on empowering everyone to keep expanding beyond past conditioning and self-limiting beliefs. Nicolette is a 500-hour Registered Yoga Teacher with a Psychology & Mindfulness Major, a NASM certified Corrective Exercise Specialist, and an expert in psychophysiology with experience in nervous system regulation and breath work. She holds a BA in Sociology from the University of California, Berkeley, and a Master’s degree is Sociology from San Jose State University
Nicolette Tura, MA
Empowerment Expert
Expert Answer
Take a few deep breaths so you have a chance to relax and bring your body back to the present.
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Question
Why is journaling a good coping skill?
Nicolette Tura, MA
Empowerment Expert
Nicolette Tura is an Empowerment Expert based in the San Francisco Bay Area. She holds a decade of experience creating change in various non-profits then went on to operate her own wellness business for 10 years. Most recently, she worked as a Therapy Associate to a chiropractic neurologist for 15 months working hands-on with patients, helping them heal from neurological disorders like concussions, long covid, migraines, and more. Nicolette guides groups and individuals on transformative meditation journeys and game-changing mindset management workshops and retreats on empowering everyone to keep expanding beyond past conditioning and self-limiting beliefs. Nicolette is a 500-hour Registered Yoga Teacher with a Psychology & Mindfulness Major, a NASM certified Corrective Exercise Specialist, and an expert in psychophysiology with experience in nervous system regulation and breath work. She holds a BA in Sociology from the University of California, Berkeley, and a Master’s degree is Sociology from San Jose State University
Nicolette Tura, MA
Empowerment Expert
Expert Answer
Journaling helps you confront and process your thoughts. It'll also make it easier to collect your thoughts.
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If How.com.vn has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission.Support How.com.vn
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Question
What helps calm anxiety and nerves?
Donna Novak, Psy.D
Licensed Clinical Psychologist
Dr. Donna Novak is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist based in Simi Valley, California. With over ten years of experience, Dr. Novak specializes in treating anxiety and relationship and sex concerns. She holds a BA in Psychology from the University of California, Los Angeles (UCLA) and a doctoral degree (Psy.D) in Clinical Psychology from Alliant International University-Los Angeles. Dr. Novak uses a differentiation model in treatment that focuses on personal growth by increasing self-awareness, personal motivation, and confidence.
Donna Novak, Psy.D
Licensed Clinical Psychologist
Expert Answer
Breathing exercises are a great way to calm down your nerves. Try taking deep breaths and focusing on your breath. Additionally, you might repeat a mantra that helps you feel calm.
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