How to Make Friends on the First Day of School

Ah, a new school year full of new opportunities, new people, and new friends. It’s totally normal to feel a little nervous or anxious about your first day, and you may be worried about how you can make new friends. Have no fear. There are plenty of things you can do to meet new people and start new friendships—even on your first day. To help you start the year on the right foot, we’ve put together a handy list of things you can do to make friends on your first day of school.

1

Choose your outfit the night before to reduce morning stress.

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Lay out nice, modest clothes you feel comfortable wearing. You don’t have to have the fanciest or the most expensive clothing, but how you look can really make a difference on your first day of school. Pick out an outfit that makes you feel confident (and follows your school’s dress code). Lay out everything you plan to wear the night before so you don’t have to stress about getting ready in the morning or worry about potentially being late on your first day. If you are a female, maybe lay out your favorite necklace or other jewelry with your outfit. Make sure your clothes match, and try to style all of your clothes together, including your shoes and other accessories.^{[1]XResearch source}
- It may be much easier for you to meet new people if you aren’t stressed out on your first day.
- If your school requires a uniform, no worries. Just have it laid out and ready to go the night before.

2

Visit your locker in between classes to meet new people.

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You never know who you may run into while you’re there. You might strike up a conversation with your locker neighbors. After all, you’ll likely be spending the next year next to each other. You can also take some time to set up and decorate your locker so it reflects your personality, which may help people with similar interests notice you. If you can, take a moment to stop by your locker before each of your classes so you can grab what you need, leave what you don’t, and potentially chat with people nearby.^{[2]XResearch source}
- For instance, if you’re a huge BTS fan, you can put up some photos of the band (if your school allows it) and if any other fans pass by your locker, they may notice your photos and talk to you about it. Boom! Now you’ve got a new friend!

3

Walk around school with a smile on your face.

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It can make you look more fun and inviting. People tend to want to be around other people who seem happy. A smile is a simple way to radiate positivity and make yourself seem more approachable. The first day of school can be challenging with all of the new classes and a new routine you have to quickly adapt to, so try to make a conscious effort to focus on smiling more as you walk around your school.^{[3]XResearch source}
- It’s totally understandable to be annoyed or a little stressed on your first day. But a scowl or an angry look on your face can quickly drive away people who may want to talk to you.

4

Use conversation starters to break the ice.

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It’s much easier to keep chatting once you get a conversation going. Oftentimes, the hardest part of a conversation is getting it started. Try asking simple questions or giving someone a nice compliment. They’ll likely respond to you and just like that, you’ve managed to start a conversation!^{[4]XResearch source}
- For instance, you could turn to the person next to you and ask something like, “Hi, do you know what page we’re supposed to be on?” After they answer you, you can follow up with something like, “Thanks, I’m always lost in these biology classes. Are you a big bio fan?”
- Who doesn’t like compliments? Try saying something like, “I love your bracelet, it’s really cool.” If they say “thanks,” you can follow up with something like, “Where did you get it?” to keep the conversation going.

5

Ask open-ended questions to keep people talking.

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The right questions can encourage people to continue the conversation. Open questions are questions that have a bunch of different possible responses, as opposed to closed questions, which can often be answered with a simple “Yes” or “No.” Use open questions to get people to keep talking, which can help you get to know each other and may lead to a great new friendship.^{[5]XResearch source}
- For example, instead of asking a closed question like, “Did you have a fun summer?” You could ask, “What was the coolest thing you did this summer?” or "Do you have any hobbies?" That way, they’ll have to talk more to fully answer the question.

6

Hang out with your friends' friends to meet like-minded people.

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Chances are you’ll have a lot in common with them, too. If you already have a few friends at school, you’re in luck! Simply spend time with your already established friends and the people they hang out with. You’ll likely end up talking to them and may have a lot in common. After all, there must be a reason they’re friends with your friend.^{[6]XResearch source}
- Try sitting with your friend at lunch or during any breaks and talk to the people they hang out with to get to know them.

7

Try talking to someone sitting alone.

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They may just be as nervous about their first day as you are. If you see someone sitting by themselves in the cafeteria or class, try approaching them. Be kind and ask them about their first day. You may find you have a lot in common and you may make a new friend just by being kind and welcoming to someone who may be nervous on their first day.^{[7]XResearch source}
- For instance, you could walk up to someone who looks worried or is sitting alone and say something like, “First days are always tough. I don’t really know many people here, what about you?”

8

Join a club or sports team to meet people with similar interests.

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Hanging out with like-minded people will lead to new friends. In the first days and weeks of school, you may notice a bunch of flyers or announcements about joining some of your school’s clubs or teams. Take advantage of them if any of them sound interesting to you. You’ll meet other people who have similar interests, which can oftentimes lead to great friendships.^{[8]XResearch source}
- For example, if you’re super into comics, chess, or basketball, chances are there’s a club or a team at your school you can join.
- If your school doesn’t have any clubs or teams that interest you, try starting one yourself!

9

Get to know your school so you’re more confident.

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The more comfortable and familiar you are the more approachable you’ll seem. Try walking around the halls and scoping out places like the cafeteria and the library. Familiarize yourself with your classrooms and the people in them. If you feel comfortable, try striking up conversations with people you meet. As people get to know and recognize you, they may be more likely to talk to you.^{[9]XTrustworthy SourceGreater Good in ActionAn initiative by UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center promoting science-based practices for a meaningful lifeGo to source}
- For instance, you could check out the library and ask people what kind of clubs they like at your school.

10

Exchange contact info with people you hit it off with.

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Whenever you do connect with someone and it seems like you have a lot in common, get their phone number so you can text and call them. Add them on social media as well so you can get connected there, too. Sometimes the connections you make on the first day of school can become lifelong friends.^{[10]XResearch source}

11

Don’t worry if someone doesn’t want to be friends.

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Keep putting yourself out there and you’ll find people who do. Some people may not want to be your friend, and that’s okay! It doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you. Don’t let it get to you. Just shrug it off and focus on the people who do want to talk and hang out with you.^{[11]XResearch source}
- For instance, if someone on the bus or in the cafeteria is rude or mean to you, don’t let it keep you down. They’re just one person and you have a whole school full of people you can meet.

Expert Q&A

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Question
Where can I meet new friends?
Ashley Pritchard, MA
School Counselor
Ashley Pritchard is an Academic and School Counselor at Delaware Valley Regional High School in Frenchtown, New Jersey. Ashley has over 3 years of high school, college, and career counseling experience. She has an MA in School Counseling with a specialization in Mental Health from Caldwell University and is certified as an Independent Education Consultant through the University of California, Irvine.
Ashley Pritchard, MA
School Counselor
Expert Answer
Ask your school counselor about different clubs or sports at your school, and then get in touch with either the coaches or other students who are involved. Joining clubs or sports is a great way to meet somebody who has similar likes and interests.
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My ex friend and I are going to the same school and she is spreading rumours and lying about me to everyone she knows and I'm scared that others will avoid me or dislike me. What should I do?
Richard Wells1
Community Answer
It can be difficult if someone is spreading rumors about you. If you act like yourself and show kindness toward others, they will eventually see that the rumors are untrue. Try to stay positive!
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What if you are going into 7th grade at a new school how do you fit in?
Richard Wells1
Community Answer
Going to a new school is tough. The best way to fit in is to act like yourself and find people who share the same interests as you. Try using conversation starters to get chatting with others at your new school.
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If you don’t make a ton of new friends on your first day, don’t stress about it. You have an entire year to meet new people.
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If someone is bullying you or threatening you, talk to your teachers or school counselor. It’s never okay for someone to belittle or physically harm you.
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