This article was co-authored by Alessandra Conti. Alessandra Conti is a Celebrity Matchmaker, Dating Coach, and Co-Founder of Matchmakers In The City, a personal Matchmaking firm headquartered in Los Angeles, California. Alessandra is a Matchmaker behind MTV's, “Are You The One”, and is the go-to Celebrity Matchmaker for shows like NBC's Access Hollywood, and CBS's Face The Truth. Her dating and relationship advice has been featured on Forbes, Elite Daily, The New Yorker, The LA Times, and Fox News. For nearly 10 years, Alessandra has worked with clients ranging from celebrities to young professionals and leads a team of matchmakers responsible for hundreds of marriages through their knowledge of interpersonal relationships, body language, and lie detection. She holds a BA in Communications from American University and is a Matchmaking Institute Certified Matchmaker (CMM).
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Starting a relationship with someone who has children with someone else can be challenging. Is there a sure way to win the kids over? How can you be "cool" while also being a parent figure? It can be difficult to know when and how much to step in, so we've laid out a few guidelines to help. Take a deep breath because you have what it takes to do this.
Steps
Expert Q&A
Tips
- Don't try to discipline the child right off the bat and don't get too involved or present in the child's life immediately.Thanks
- Don't present new ways of living and don't try and propose new ways of doing things or anything like that. Let the child continue to live their normal life and slowly come into your lives. If you immediately start to act as their parent, this will often anger the child or at least make them very uncomfortable.
- A thought going through many children's minds will be that you're trying to be their parent or fill the spot of their father/mother, which will almost never go over well. Most of the time the child is still trying to cope and/or get used to everything around them, so moving too quickly can cause a lot of anxiety, uneasiness, and sometimes anger.
Thanks - Make sure that you and your partner aren't keeping anything from the child that he/she should know such as an engagement, pregnancy, moving in together, the child having to move, etc. Children are pretty smart and can sense when something is out of the ordinary is happening. They also don't like having things kept from them and often time secrecy, deceptiveness, and lying results in a lot or anger and paranoia, none of which you want to deal with or be blamed for. In other words, don't try to shelter your child too much. It doesn't always work out well.Thanks
References
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/nurturing-resilience/201508/when-parents-date-someone-new-whats-best-the-kids
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/parenting-family/step-parenting-blended-families.htm
- ↑ https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/stepparent.html
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/interpersonal-and-family-relationships/201908/living-your-new-partner-after-divorce
- ↑ https://www.parents.com/parenting/dynamics/step-parent-boundaries/
- ↑ https://raisingchildren.net.au/grown-ups/family-diversity/blended-families-stepfamilies/being-a-step-parent
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/stronger-the-broken-places/201701/25-ways-you-can-show-respect-your-partner
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