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Gaming addiction is a subset of computer addiction. The very idea of computer addiction, let alone gaming addiction, is so new that even professionals have not yet settled on a standard criteria. However, most professionals do attempt to draw a line between heavy, yet normal use, and chronic or obsessive use of computer games using the same diagnostic tests used for any kind of addiction, as defined in the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) the ‘bible’ used by psychologists and psychiatrists to define and diagnose disorders of the mind. The most addictive games are typically online role-playing games, with Everquest (known as EverCrack to some) and World of Warcraft considered to be the most addictive and time consuming games available. In this How.com.vn we’ll look at game addiction and start to examine what you can do to help if you suspect your boyfriend may be an addict, and not just a gamer.
Steps
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Examine your own motivations. Labeling somebody as an addict is a serious accusation, so be sure that you are being fair with yourself and your boyfriend before doing so. Why do you worry about the amount of time he spends playing video games? Is it because he neglects other things? Or is it because you feel neglected?
Be aware that addictions, if they exist, can strike anybody, young and old, male and female. Although many men do play video games, it sure isn't like women do not.Advertisement
Be aware that there are experts on both sides of the fence on this subject.- Part of the controversy is that there is no biological component to video game addiction, unlike most substance addictions. Therefore the parallel most often used is to compulsive gamblers.
Decide if you think he is addicted or just enjoys gaming. While it is fine to enjoy video games, too much playing can lead a person to neglecting many key aspects of life and having an unhealthy lifestyle in general. Diagnosing an addiction is beyond the scope of this article, but there are some common sense guidelines you can follow:- Playing the game for more than 4 to 5 hours a day.
- Becoming irritable or withdrawn without access to the game.
- A steady increase in use over a period of time, addicts need more and more of their “substance” to feed cravings.
- Lying to friends and family to conceal gaming
- Falling asleep in school because of missed sleep due to the game
- Not keeping up with assignments.
- Worsening grades.
- Dropping out of other social groups (clubs or sports).
- Irritable when not playing a video game or on the computer.
Look for physical signs of too much video gaming including:- Carpal tunnel syndrome.
- Sleep disturbances
Talk to him. Whether you believe he is addicted or just enjoys gaming his game use is clearly bothering you. The first step is to sit down with him and tell him how you feel. If you don't really think he is addicted tell him how his playing makes you feel neglected, or however it makes you feel. If you do think he is addicted, tell him why you think so.
Try to reach a compromise. Perhaps you can play together for a while, and then do something you would prefer to do. Perhaps there are different games you can try that you would enjoy more than online role playing.
Seek help before doing anything else.- Seek out online support organizations that cater to the loved ones of people who play too video games too much. These include Widows of Warcraft and others, some links are provided below.
- Read some books on the subject. Links are provided below.
- Talk to your boyfriend's friends, your parents and possibly even his parents, to see if they agree with you.
- With the help of adults make preliminary contact with a counselor. Treatment typically includes behavioral therapy, anti-depressants and Zyban, a prescription drug used by smokers to kick the tobacco habit.
Community Q&A
- QuestionMy girlfriend is upset about the fact that I play games a lot and sometimes don't respond to her. She says I act cold. She wants to leave me. What do I do?
Community AnswerTalk to her and spend more time with her. Video games can't be your whole life. It takes more than one to make a team. - QuestionWhat do I do if I try to talk to my boyfriend about his video game addiction and he blows up at me?Community AnswerTell him that you're concerned about the amount of time he's spending playing games, and that it's beginning to affect your relationship. Try to cite examples of how this has happened. If he continues arguing with you, you might want to take a break to cool off and try to have the conversation again another time.
- QuestionHow am I supposed to talk to my boyfriend about how I feel when he accuses me of controlling him? He also won't put his controller down to even have a conversation.
Community AnswerIf he won't even talk to you he is probably not worth your time. You need to be respected.
Tips
- Do your research before getting upset.Thanks
- Talk to friends and counselors (including parents) before doing anything drastic.Thanks
- Do not threaten to leave somebody just because they play computer games you don't like.Thanks
Warnings
- If the problem is more about time together than games, consider working on your relationship by being honest with yourself, and your boyfriend, and talking things out.Thanks
- Don't do anything drastic, like smash his console.Thanks
- Leave making diagnosis about addiction to those with proper training, but if you care about your boyfriend you will confront him if you really think there is a problem.Thanks
- Realize that he may just enjoy playing games, you shouldn't take something away he loves.Thanks
References
- http://news.com.com/2100-1040-881673.html - c|net article
- ISBN 0890420254 The DSM, American Psychiatric Publishing; 4th edition (June 2000)
- ISBN 1931722749 Playstation Nation: Protect Your Child from Video Game Addiction by Olivia and Kurt Bruner
- ISBN 0609606131 Stop Teaching Our Kids to Kill: A Call to Action Against TV, Movie and Video Game Violence by Dave Grossman and Gloria Degaetano
- ISBN 0786419156 Massively Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Games: The People, the Addiction and the Playing Experience by Richard V. Kelly
- http://icampus.mit.edu/projects/GamesToTeach.shtml - Kurt Squire at MIT.
- http://www.computeraddiction.com/ - Dr. Orzack
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