How to Get Guys to Look at Your Face Instead of Your Chest

You’re a strong, independent woman and you want to be taken seriously. Unfortunately some men think it’s ok to objectify you by ogling your breasts while you’re talking to them. It can be uncomfortable to address the issue, but it’s very important that you do. If you allow their behavior to continue, they’ll always see you as an object rather than a human being.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Confronting the Offender in Person

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1
Make a subtle noise. When you catch a guy staring at your chest, make a sound to indicate that you know what he’s doing and you don’t appreciate it. Clear your throat loud enough for him to hear you and don’t continue the conversation until he looks up at your eyes. When he does, give him a quick scowl to let him know his actions aren’t cool.
- You can also say something like “ahem.” Make sure whatever grunt or noise you make is loud and clear enough for him to react to.
- You can also point to your face when you make your noise to make sure the message gets across.
- If he keeps staring at your chest, you can repeat this a few times until he gets the message.
- Completely refuse to keep talking to him if he can’t look at your face.
2
Ask him to stop. Look at him with an expressionless face and ask him to stop ogling you in a completely serious tone. Say something like “Would you please stop looking at my chest?” Don’t smile, laugh or ask nicely. Speak in a matter-of-fact voice that so he knows that you’re not joking.
- You have every right to be respected as a person and you shouldn’t have to be polite to someone who’s disrespecting you.
- If you try too hard to be nice, he might think that it’s not a big deal and keep looking at your chest.
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3
Embarrass him. If you’re around other people, you can call him out in front of them. Make him look like a creep in front of everyone. Say a funny comment to draw attention to his actions and make sure it’s clear your addressing him. If you can make everyone laugh at him, he may be too embarrassed to stare at anyone inappropriately ever again. You might also send a message to the other men there that you’re not to be messed with. Try using comments like:
- Don’t worry. They’re still here. You don’t need to keep checking.
- My eyes are up here bud.
- Hello? I’m up here.
- Did you get a good look? Great! Now we can continue.
4
Make it clear that you’re uncomfortable. The next time that you catch a guy in the act of staring at your chest, use your body language to communicate that you feel uncomfortable with the attention. Be sure to be obvious enough to get your point across. Some examples of body language you might use include:^{[1]XResearch source}
- Fidgeting with your clothes. You may lift the front of your shirt up slightly to reduce the cleavage that he can see.
- Put your arm over your chest to hide your cleavage.
- Cross your arms in front of your chest and give him a “what a creep” look.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Confronting the Offender Indirectly

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1
Send him an email. If someone continually ogles you but you don’t want to engage him directly, you might try sending him an email letting him know how you feel about it. Let him know that you don’t want to bring up his behavior around people but you will if he doesn't stop it. This can be particularly effective if the person is a co-worker.
- You can give him a chance to stop their behavior without retaliating against him.
- If he sends back a disrespectful email, you can always forward it to your boss as proof of the way he treats you.
2
Tell his wife or girlfriend. If the offender is in a committed relationship, you can always tell his significant other about his activities. If his behavior causes a rift to form in his relationship, he'll definitely think twice before ogling women in the future.
- Sometimes the threat that you might tell a person’s wife how he's acting might be enough to get him to stop.
- She might not believe you if you’re by yourself. If he treats other girls the same way, try to get them to tell his wife how he acts with you.
3
Tell your supervisor. If the offender is your co-worker, you can try telling your boss about the situation. Make sure to tell your boss that you can’t be productive in an environment where you feel uncomfortable and that you think your co-worker’s behavior is completely unacceptable.
- If your boss refuses to take action you might have to go to his supervisor. Move up the ladder as far as you have to to get results.
- You can even threaten to take legal action if the issue is not dealt with.
If all else fails and you can’t get a person to stop staring at your chest, then try to stay as far away from him as you can. If the person is someone in your circle of friends, simply refuse to hang out at events where he’ll be present. If the offender is someone at your job, quit.^{[2]XResearch source} If your company allows people to treat you like an object instead of a person, you won’t be happy working there anyway.
5
Talk to a principal or school counselor. If the offender is someone in your school, talk to the proper authorities there. Tell a principal, trusted teacher, or school counselor about what has been going on. They will likely talk to the boy about appropriate behavior and decide on a proper punishment.
- If you don't feel comfortable speaking up on your own, ask a parent for help. You may feel more comfortable having your mom or dad call the school on your behalf.
- If you know other girls who have a similar problem with this boy, you can ask them to speak up as well.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Acting Confidently So Guys Will Take You Seriously

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1
Have good posture. Be sure to stand straight up with your shoulders back and don’t be afraid to take up space. Don’t try to make yourself smaller to accommodate men. If you shrink around people, they won’t view you as strong or confident and men are more likely to treat women they view as weak with disrespect.
- Show men that you mean business by carrying yourself with great posture.
- You can practice by standing with your back flat up against a wall. Both your shoulders should be touching the wall.
2
Demand eye contact from people. Whenever you talk to people, make eye contact with them. If they don’t initially meet your gaze, make it clear that you expect them to. Move and tilt your head so that you’re looking into their eyes. Keep eye contact a little longer than feels comfortable. You might come off a bit intimidating to men but you’ll gain their respect.
- If you demand eye contact from people, it will be very hard for them to stare at your chest.
- People view easy eye contact as sign of confidence.
3
Be real. Don’t try to appease men by acting subordinate to them. You may think that putting others above yourself will make them like you but in reality all it does is make them see you as weak. Whether you’re trying to appear strong at work or around your friends, let others know you’re an equal and that you don’t need to impress anyone.
- Only smile when you genuinely want to. Disingenuous smiles can be seen as a sign that someone is trying too hard to seek approval.
- Don’t nod too much while you’re talking to people. Nodding too much can make you look like you’re not strong enough to have your own opinions.
4
Control your body language. Sometimes when women feel uncomfortable they fidget with their hair or body. These signals are also very similar to what women do when they’re attracted to someone so you should try to avoid doing them if you don’t want attention. Some men may feel like it’s ok to ogle you if they misread your body cues.^{[3]XResearch source}
- Touching your hair or chest can release sex hormones.
- Some people might misread you touching your hair as a sign that you want to be touched by them.

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Question
My boyfriend keeps looking at my chest. I know this doesn't sound like a real problem, but we just got into this relationship. I don't want ANY man to touch me in an inappropriate way, until I completely trust them. What can I do to make him stop?
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Community Answer
Talk to him about it. Tell him that he's making you uncomfortable and that there are boundaries, even in a relationship.
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What if he looks down still when I stop talking for a few seconds?
Community Answer
Then he's extremely rude and inconsiderate. Speak with him directly about the issue.
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How do I prevent someone walking by from looking at my chest? Wearing ugly clothes works sometimes with young men, but not with the old ones. What can I do?
Community Answer
Give him an angry stare. You also might bring your bag or purse up over your chest, and completely ignore him.
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Tips

If any attention from men is unwelcome, you should take a stand immediately. If you don’t, some men may walk all over you.
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Make sure you demand respect from men so they don’t think they can objectify you.
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Some men may stare at your chest without even thinking. If they apologize and stop the behavior when you ask them to, there’s no need to further retaliate against them.
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Warnings

Unfortunately, some companies may not take a strong stance against sexual harassment. If you don’t feel supported by your company, it might be time to find a new job.
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You should never have to change the way you dress to avoid being ogled. The way you dress is your business.
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