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Having good working relationships with your coworkers is important since you spend so much time there. Unfortunately, some coworkers can be rude, unprofessional, or just plain toxic. It’s easy to get stressed and struggle with productivity when you’re juggling a bad work relationship, but thankfully, there are ways to improve the situation. Read on for a list of ways to help you effectively deal with a difficult coworker—making your job much more enjoyable in the process!
Things You Should Know
- Stay away from your difficult coworker as much as you can. Identify your triggers so you can leave if they start acting out.
- Get to know your coworker so you can understand why they act the way they do and empathize with their perspective.
- Talk to them in private if you need their behavior to change. Be respectful and use “I” language to communicate your feelings and needs to them.
- Stay positive in the workplace, avoid gossip, and treat everyone with respect. If there’s no other option, escalate the issue to a supervisor.
Steps
Expert Q&A
- QuestionHow do you deal with an aggressive coworker?
Meredith Walters, MBAMeredith Walters is a Certified Career Coach who helps people develop the skills they need to find meaningful, fulfilling work. Meredith has over eight years of career and life coaching experience, including conducting training at Emory University's Goizueta School of Business and the US Peace Corps. She is a former Member of the Board of Directors of ICF-Georgia. She earned her coaching credentials from New Ventures West and a Master of Business Administration from the University of San Francisco.
Certified Career CoachThe best way to handle a tough coworker is to talk to them privately about their behavior. Try to be empathetic and compassionate, and just ask them why they're being aggressive toward you. It may not have anything to do with you at all; there may be something going in your coworker's personal life that's triggering their behavior. Regardless of the reason, you won't know what's really going on until you talk to them about it. - QuestionWhat do you do when a coworker hates you?Meredith Walters, MBAMeredith Walters is a Certified Career Coach who helps people develop the skills they need to find meaningful, fulfilling work. Meredith has over eight years of career and life coaching experience, including conducting training at Emory University's Goizueta School of Business and the US Peace Corps. She is a former Member of the Board of Directors of ICF-Georgia. She earned her coaching credentials from New Ventures West and a Master of Business Administration from the University of San Francisco.
Certified Career CoachView your coworkers with compassion. Keep in mind that whatever the other person is responding to about you, it's not necessarily because you're doing wrong. In most cases, it's more about them. Try having a conversation with them where you try to get an idea of what they're reacting to and why. Often, if you can do that without becoming defensive, you can navigate the situation and work together. - QuestionHow do you handle conflict at work?Meredith Walters, MBAMeredith Walters is a Certified Career Coach who helps people develop the skills they need to find meaningful, fulfilling work. Meredith has over eight years of career and life coaching experience, including conducting training at Emory University's Goizueta School of Business and the US Peace Corps. She is a former Member of the Board of Directors of ICF-Georgia. She earned her coaching credentials from New Ventures West and a Master of Business Administration from the University of San Francisco.
Certified Career CoachRemember not to take things personally. Typically, people aren't actually acting against you at work; they're just trying to advocate for what they believe. If someone makes you upset, take deep breaths and give yourself a moment to calm back down.
Tips
- Always think before you speak when confronting a coworker. You don't want to end up saying something you regret in the heat of the moment! Give yourself time to cool down if they say something that really upsets you.[16]Thanks
- If your coworker is a bully, ensure they know you won't stand for it. You can try telling them that you will report his behavior to your manager or to HR if it happens again—just make sure you follow through on that promise.[17]Thanks
- Keep a list of your personal accomplishments to ensure that attention-seeking coworkers can’t take credit for your work. If you’re dealing with a coworker who wants attention from your mutual boss, it’s in your best interest to stop them from stealing any of your thunder in the process![18]Thanks
Video
References
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/communication-success/201309/ten-keys-handling-unreasonable-difficult-people
- ↑ Meredith Walters, MBA. Certified Career Coach. Expert Interview. 22 November 2019.
- ↑ https://www.artofmanliness.com/career-wealth/career/how-to-deal-with-bad-coworkers/
- ↑ https://www.performancemagazine.org/office-drama-difficult-coworker/
- ↑ https://hbr.org/podcast/2022/08/strategies-for-dealing-with-difficult-coworkers
- ↑ https://www.performancemagazine.org/office-drama-difficult-coworker/
- ↑ https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/about/copingwith-stresstips.html
- ↑ Meredith Walters, MBA. Certified Career Coach. Expert Interview. 22 November 2019.
- ↑ Meredith Walters, MBA. Certified Career Coach. Expert Interview. 22 November 2019.
- ↑ Meredith Walters, MBA. Certified Career Coach. Expert Interview. 22 November 2019.
- ↑ https://hbr.org/podcast/2022/08/strategies-for-dealing-with-difficult-coworkers
- ↑ https://hbr.org/podcast/2022/08/strategies-for-dealing-with-difficult-coworkers
- ↑ https://hbr.org/podcast/2022/08/strategies-for-dealing-with-difficult-coworkers
- ↑ https://copebetter.com/how-to-deal-with-difficult-coworker/
- ↑ https://hbr.org/podcast/2022/08/strategies-for-dealing-with-difficult-coworkers
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/communication-success/201309/ten-keys-handling-unreasonable-difficult-people
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/communication-success/201309/ten-keys-handling-unreasonable-difficult-people
- ↑ https://hbr.org/podcast/2022/08/strategies-for-dealing-with-difficult-coworkers
About This Article
To deal with a difficult coworker, don't take anything they do personally, and try to remember that they might be acting difficult because they're going through something in their own life. If you can, just try to ignore them and not let it get to you. However, if the issue is too big to ignore, try politely bringing it up with them and seeing if you can resolve things. Or, in serious circumstances, consider talking to HR about the problem. For tips on how to be the bigger person at work, scroll down!
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