How Confidence and Arrogance Differ & How to Balance Them

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An in-depth look into the fine line between arrogance & confidence

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Definitions

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Differences

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Being Confident, Not Arrogant

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Confidence Benefits

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Arrogance Downsides

If you’ve been given a compliment or interviewed for a job, you’ve probably wondered how to come across as confident, but not arrogant. There is a fine line between confidence and arrogance, and we’re here to tell you all about it. In this article, we’ll explain what confidence and arrogance are, how they’re different, and how to be confident without coming across as cocky. Let’s dive in!

Things You Should Know

Confidence is the belief in your own abilities while arrogance is the overestimation or exaggeration of your abilities.
Confident people are aware of their weaknesses and seek to improve them. Arrogant people don’t acknowledge their weaknesses and run from feedback.
Be confident but not arrogant by listening to and taking constructive criticism, helping other people, and recognizing your strengths and accomplishments.

Section 1 of 5:

Defining Confidence and Arrogance

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1
Confidence is believing in your own abilities and knowledge. When you’re confident, you know what you’re good at and celebrate your strengths. At the same time, you are well aware of your weaknesses. You don’t ignore them or let them get you down and instead seek feedback, help, and opportunities to improve.^{[1]XResearch source}
- Confident people usually let their capabilities speak for themselves. They don’t brag about or downplay their skills.
2
Arrogance is overestimating your abilities and knowledge. If you’re arrogant, you often believe that you’re better than everyone else. You might boast about what you can do and even put others down for not being as good as you. If someone tries to give you feedback, you might get defensive because you don’t acknowledge your weaknesses.^{[2]XTrustworthy SourcePubMed CentralJournal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of HealthGo to source}
- Someone who is cocky can be smarter or more skilled than other people. Instead of helping people though, they look down on others for not knowing what they know.
- The opposite of arrogance is self-deprecation, or undervaluing your abilities in knowledge. Confidence falls right in the middle as a healthy balance of self-deprecation and arrogance.^{[3]XResearch source}

Section 2 of 5:

Differences Between Confidence and Arrogance

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1
Confident people are self-aware, while arrogant people are not. A confident person knows what they’re good at and what they need to improve. They also know that they’re not better than anyone else, even if they’re the top student in the class or the CEO of their company. On the other hand, an arrogant person believes that they’re superior to everyone else. They might think that they’re always right because they aren’t aware of their own limits and assume other people know less than them.^{[4]XTrustworthy SourcePubMed CentralJournal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of HealthGo to source}
- Developing your self-awareness also helps you learn more about yourself, your priorities, and your goals in life.
2
Arrogant people brag, while confident people are humble. You might hear a cocky person before you see them; they like to talk about themselves and gloat about their achievements. While confident people are proud of their accomplishments and tell people about them, they are also modest about them. They acknowledge how others might have helped them, or how it wasn’t an easy road to get where they are.^{[5]XTrustworthy SourceAmerican Psychological AssociationLeading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologistsGo to source}
- To be humble and confident, be open to others’ ideas and opinions. Express your gratitude for their help and return the favor when you can.
- There are times when it’s okay to boast, especially during job interviews. To brag without being arrogant, use inclusive language like “we” and avoid words like “best.”
- For example, you might say, “Our team outperformed our previous sales records last year by 100%. I worked hard leading the team and was really proud of what we accomplished,” instead of, “As the best manager at my company, I single-handedly boosted my sales record by 100%.”
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Confident people are empathetic to others, while arrogant people aren’t. Because confident people don’t think they’re better than anyone else, they are caring and compassionate towards others. They ask how their coworkers and classmates are doing, help them when they’re struggling, and understand where they’re coming from when they have a problem. An arrogant person can’t or refuses to put themselves in others’ shoes because they think other people are below them.^{[6]XResearch source}
- You often gain confidence by failing, picking yourself back up again, and improving. This cultivates empathy because you know what it’s like to be at the bottom and recognize that it takes help and growth to reach your goals.
- People who are cocky often don’t listen to other’s viewpoints. They think they know best, which limits their ability to connect with and grow from others’ unique perspectives.
4
An arrogant person doesn’t listen to feedback, unlike confident people. Taking constructive criticism is hard for everyone, even if you’re confident. However, arrogant people tend to run away from feedback or blame their shortcomings on someone else. On the other hand, a confident person takes criticism in stride. They listen to the feedback and make changes to improve themselves.^{[7]XResearch source}
- Confident people are typically very open to new ideas and opinions. They know that they don’t know everything and that they can always be a better version of themselves.
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Confident people have high self-worth while arrogant people are insecure. Sure, confident people are proud of themselves, but they know that their accomplishments aren’t tied to their value as a person. Likewise, they listen to and respect others’ opinions, but don’t let them dictate how they live their life.^{[8]XResearch source} Arrogant people are so bold and brash about their capabilities because they don’t want to shatter the illusion of their superiority. They can’t accept their weaknesses and instead cover them up by overinflating their image.^{[9]XTrustworthy SourcePubMed CentralJournal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of HealthGo to source}
- Confident people aren’t always 100% sure of themselves and have bad days, too.
- Building self-worth is a process that starts with treating yourself kindly, recognizing that you deserve the world, and trusting your gut and intuition.
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Arrogant people tend to be negative while confident people are positive. If a project goes wrong at school or work, a cocky person typically focuses on the negativity. They might blame their classmates or coworkers for causing the problem and refuse to help them solve it. A confident person works to encourage and uplift people, even when a situation is challenging. They take accountability for any mistakes they made and use their knowledge and skills to help others out.^{[10]XResearch source}
- Because of the positive environment they cultivate, confident people are usually respected.
- Arrogant people’s tendency to be negative and put people down doesn’t garner them much respect or goodwill.

Section 3 of 5:

Being Confident but Not Arrogant

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1
Learn to take constructive criticism. Of course, gracefully accepting feedback is easier said than done. When a teacher, boss, or friend has constructive criticism for you, simply listen. Remind yourself that they’re just trying to help you improve; your deficits or weaknesses don’t say anything about your self-worth. Then, thank them for their suggestions and make a plan to implement the changes to your work or behavior.^{[11]XResearch source}
- If it helps motivate you, think of constructive criticism as a challenge. This is your way to prove to your teacher or boss that you have the skills and determination to succeed.
- Recognize that listening to other people’s opinions and feedback helps you grow. Even if you don’t necessarily agree with what your boss or teacher says, it gives you a new perspective to consider.
2
Celebrate your strengths. Being confident is all about recognizing and praising your accomplishments. If you’re working on your confidence, list all of the things that you’re proud of and that you like about yourself. Maybe you love that you’re a great listener or are the person your friends turn to when they need advice. When someone gives you a shoutout at school or work, take it to heart. Don’t brush it aside or boast about it, but use it to remind yourself that you are capable.^{[12]XResearch source}
- When accepting praise, practice humility and acknowledge if there were people who helped you achieve your goal. This makes you feel grateful for their help, too.
- Recognize the challenges, growth, and hard work that culminated in your achievements. This is evidence that you’re skilled and talented.
- Then, don’t forget to reward yourself for your successes! Buy the item that’s been sitting in your shopping cart, take yourself out to dinner, or have a spa day.
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Own your weaknesses and mistakes. While you are incredibly smart and skilled, remember that nobody is perfect. You have areas that you can work on and improve in, and that’s okay! In fact, these areas are opportunities for you to grow and develop into an even more amazing person. When you inevitably make a mistake or let someone down, take responsibility for your actions. Use it as a lesson to learn from your mistakes and make positive changes.^{[13]XResearch source}
- Reflect on the areas in your personal and professional life that could use improvements. Then, make a plan to work on them.
- For example, if you struggle with managing your time, you might write down your tasks for each day and prioritize them based on importance.
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Ask and accept help from others. If you’re not used to asking for help, it can feel hard to do. It isn’t embarrassing or a sign of weakness, but a chance for you to lighten your load or learn something new. The next time that you’re confused about a task or project, reach out to your coworker or boss for their advice. And if they see that you’re struggling with something, accept their help with gratitude.^{[14]XResearch source}
- When you ask for help, be specific. Let your friend, classmate, or coworker know what you’re struggling with and what they can do for you to help.
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Help and lift other people up. Helping others boosts your self-worth, self-esteem, and empathy, which makes you feel more confident, too. So, use your confidence in your abilities to improve the lives of the people around you. If your coworker is having trouble learning a program you know well, offer to help them. Then, encourage others to be confident.^{[15]XResearch source}
- When someone in your class scores the highest grade or a coworker on your team wins a big promotion, praise and compliment them on their success.
- Showing people that you’re proud of their achievements strengthens their confidence and fosters a positive, supportive environment. When you’re confident, everyone wins!

Section 4 of 5:

What are the benefits of confidence?

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Being confident helps you grow, seem more likable, and feel positive. When you’re confident, you know that you can handle the setbacks and challenges that are thrown your way. This enables you to get out of your comfort zone, take risks, and ultimately flourish.^{[16]XResearch source} Confident people are also seen as more friendly and attractive, which can help you in your search for a job, friends, or love. People like to be around you because you’re positive, kind, and helpful.^{[17]XResearch source}
- By taking risks and even failing, you might actually accomplish more. When you trust in your abilities and learn to take your mistakes less seriously, you try more new things which naturally increases your odds of success.

Quiz

How.com.vn Quiz: How Big Is My Ego?

Mirror, mirror on the wall…who’s the fairest of them all? If you screamed “ME!” into your phone screen, then this might just be the quiz for you. Below, we’ll help you determine the size of your ego—whether it’s teeny tiny, medium, or totally gigantic. Using psychology (and some fun, made-up scenarios!), we’ll set you on a path of self-discovery. Finally, you’ll be able to answer the question: how big is my ego?

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Uh oh, you made a mistake at work, and now your team is working late:

That doesn’t sound like me. I bet it was someone else—I’ll get to the bottom of this.

Everyone makes mistakes! The best thing to do now is take responsibility.

Oof, this is stressful. I really don’t want to acknowledge my mistake, so I won’t fess up.

I’m mortified. Why do I always mess up? I’ll apologize profusely and pull an all-nighter to make up for it.

Section 5 of 5:

What are the downsides of arrogance?

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Arrogance can lead to fewer opportunities and poor relationships. Because cocky people overestimate their abilities, they don’t push themselves to grow and change in the areas of their life that need improvement.^{[18]XTrustworthy SourcePubMed CentralJournal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of HealthGo to source} Their superior attitude and negativity often turns people away, leaving them without friends, classmates, or coworkers when they really do need help.^{[19]XResearch source}
- If you’re dealing with an arrogant person, understand that they’re likely struggling with low self-esteem, so treat them with compassion. If they brag to you or give you unsolicited advice, respond with a graceful, “I’m so happy to hear that,” or “I’ll keep that in mind.”^{[20]XResearch source}
- If an arrogant person is negatively affecting you, set boundaries with them. If you work with an arrogant coworker, you might tell them that you’re busy and can’t talk to them when they pop into your office unannounced.