Download ArticleDownload ArticleThis article was co-authored by Tracy Carver, PhD and by How.com.vn staff writer, Hannah Madden. Dr. Tracy Carver is an award-winning Licensed Psychologist based in Austin, Texas. Dr. Carver specializes in counseling for issues related to self-esteem, anxiety, depression, and psychedelic integration. She holds a BS in Psychology from Virginia Commonwealth University, an MA in Educational Psychology, and a Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology from The University of Texas at Austin. Dr. Carver also completed an internship in Clinical Psychology through Harvard University Medical School. She was voted one of the Best Mental Health Professionals in Austin for four years in a row by Austin Fit Magazine. Dr. Carver has been featured in Austin Monthly, Austin Woman Magazine, Life in Travis Heights, and KVUE (the Austin affiliate for ABC News).
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Who do you turn to when things go wrong? Your friends can offer a great sense of comfort and support, especially when you’re feeling down. Knowing exactly how to comfort your friend and what to say isn’t always easy, and you might be feeling a little tongue-tied. Fortunately, it's possible to comfort a friend and help them feel better without things being awkward or uncomfortable. Keep reading to learn all kinds of different ways you can comfort a friend when they're feeling down.
Steps
Expert Q&A
- QuestionHow can I convince my friend to go to therapy?
Tracy Carver, PhDDr. Tracy Carver is an award-winning Licensed Psychologist based in Austin, Texas. Dr. Carver specializes in counseling for issues related to self-esteem, anxiety, depression, and psychedelic integration. She holds a BS in Psychology from Virginia Commonwealth University, an MA in Educational Psychology, and a Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology from The University of Texas at Austin. Dr. Carver also completed an internship in Clinical Psychology through Harvard University Medical School. She was voted one of the Best Mental Health Professionals in Austin for four years in a row by Austin Fit Magazine. Dr. Carver has been featured in Austin Monthly, Austin Woman Magazine, Life in Travis Heights, and KVUE (the Austin affiliate for ABC News).
Licensed PsychologistI don't think this is a realistic goal in a lot of cases. If you've been to therapy before and it has helped you out, sharing that experience may get them to see the potential benefit. But just pushing someone to go get help if they aren't ready for help isn't going to be a productive exercise. - QuestionHow can I tell if my friendship is toxic? They only ever lean on me for comfort.Tracy Carver, PhDDr. Tracy Carver is an award-winning Licensed Psychologist based in Austin, Texas. Dr. Carver specializes in counseling for issues related to self-esteem, anxiety, depression, and psychedelic integration. She holds a BS in Psychology from Virginia Commonwealth University, an MA in Educational Psychology, and a Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology from The University of Texas at Austin. Dr. Carver also completed an internship in Clinical Psychology through Harvard University Medical School. She was voted one of the Best Mental Health Professionals in Austin for four years in a row by Austin Fit Magazine. Dr. Carver has been featured in Austin Monthly, Austin Woman Magazine, Life in Travis Heights, and KVUE (the Austin affiliate for ABC News).
Licensed PsychologistHow do you feel when you're around them? Do you get a sense that they love and appreciate you, or do you get the vibe that they're kind of just using you to feel better? In a lot of cases, the way they make you feel is all you really need to know. - QuestionMy friend is a guy and I like him. What should I do if I want to tell him that it's OK, but I'm nervous and don't really know what to say?
Klare Heston, LCSWKlare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).
Licensed Social WorkerFirst, review the article, "Comfort Your Friend." There are a lot of good ideas in it for how to be there for someone in pain or upset. The rules aren't different for a guy friend! Just be there; encourage him to talk; accept what he has to say; and reflect back some of what you are hearing. Now, if you like him at the same time, keep in mind that when he is upset or hurt is not the time to share your feelings for him. Save that for a later time when he is feeling better. Give him the space now that he needs. Best of luck!
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References
- ↑ https://au.reachout.com/articles/6-ways-to-help-a-friend-with-depression
- ↑ https://au.reachout.com/articles/6-ways-to-help-a-friend-with-depression
- ↑ https://www.arcadia.edu/life-arcadia/campus-services/wellness-services/counseling-services/resources/how-help-friend
- ↑ https://www.montana.edu/oha/blog/mind_blogs/how-to-help-friend-struggling-with-body-image.html
- ↑ https://childmind.org/article/support-friend-with-mental-health-challenges/
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/ptsd-trauma/helping-someone-with-ptsd.htm
- ↑ https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/seasonal-affective-disorder-sad/for-friends-and-family/
- ↑ https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/conditionsandtreatments/trauma-helping-family-or-friends
- ↑ https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/conditionsandtreatments/trauma-helping-family-or-friends
- ↑ https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/conditionsandtreatments/trauma-helping-family-or-friends
- ↑ https://mhanational.org/blog/10-ways-cheer-someone-right-now
- ↑ https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/explore-mental-health/kindness-and-mental-health/random-acts-kindness
- ↑ https://mhanational.org/blog/10-ways-cheer-someone-right-now
- ↑ https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/explore-mental-health/kindness/kindness-matters-guide
- ↑ https://www.gov.nl.ca/vpi/tips-and-tools/tips-to-help-a-friend-who-has-been-sexually-assaulted/
About This Article
To comfort your friend, listen intently to what they have to say and let them vent. Keep your advice to yourself unless your friend asks for it so they don't feel like you're brushing their feelings aside. Instead, just let your friend know that you're there for them and that their feelings are justified. Offer to help in whatever way you can so that your friend knows you're there if they need you. To learn what things you should avoid saying when you're comforting your friend, scroll down.
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