How to Build Sexual Anticipation With a Kiss

A truly wonderful kiss is like a sensuous dance. The lips, tongue, depth and speed must all be in synch and moving together, like a flawless couple sashaying effortlessly across the dance floor. To build sexual anticipation with a kiss, you can't give it all up at once -- you've got to make your kissing partner want to get even more intimate with every movement of your lips. So how do you do it? See Step 1 to get started.

Part 1

Part 1 of 2:

Getting into the Groove

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1
Find a comfortable place. If you want the kiss to be as sexy as possible, then you have to lock lips at the right place and time. Though you shouldn't search forever for the most perfect location in the world, you can put some thought into finding an intimate place for the kiss, especially if you're kissing your partner for one of the first times. Make sure you're alone, and that you're not around any harshly bright lights, and that there's a place where you can sit down if the kiss gets more intimate.
- That said, don't go looking for the perfect place forever -- if you feel like the mood is right, you can kiss your partner in the middle of a parking lot!
2
Soften your lips. Don't underestimate the effect that soft, sexy lips can have on a kiss. Chapped lips won't get you very far if you're trying to drive your partner wild.^{[1]XResearch source} Make an effort to put on lip balm about 1-2 hours before the kiss, and to moisturize your lips frequently before you kiss so that you can have the best kiss possible. Just don't put on lip balm too soon before you kiss, or your partner will be able to taste it.
- Don't let your partner see you putting on lip balm, or you'll be making your intentions a little bit too obvious.
3
Flirt a little bit. If you want to build sexual anticipation, then you have to flirt a bit first, so that your kissing partner wants it even more. Take a moment to be playful, to make intense eye contact with your partner and then to break it away, and to give your partner a playful touch on the arm, shoulder, or back.^{[2]XExpert SourceLisa Shield
Dating CoachExpert Interview. 11 March 2021.} You can even lean close to your partner and then lean back a bit, so that it's guaranteed that he or she is thinking about kissing you.
- You can also flirt by sitting by your partner and holding hands or playfully kissing him or her on the cheek. Any physical touch can help the flirtation move forward.^{[3]XExpert SourceLisa Shield
  Dating CoachExpert Interview. 11 March 2021.}
4
Wait for the right moment. A build up of sexual tension is electrifying, but leaning in at the wrong time or catching someone unawares will only lead to a very awkward, uncomfortable moment. When the mood is right, you'll know. The world around you will be quiet, and the only thing on your mind will be how much you want to kiss the person across from you.
- When you're ready to kiss, you and your partner should be tapering off your conversation and getting ready to pay attention only to each other.
- You may find that the person you're going to kiss is getting increasingly nervous or fidgety because he or she is nervous about starting the kissing session. Don't worry -- you both will be able to relax once you kiss each other.
5
Start slowly. Start small with gentle little kisses to the lips. Incorporate gentle touch, whether holding hands, or the back of the head, or the face. The eyes, cheeks and hair are all erogenous zones and will respond strongly to loving kisses. If you go for it too much at once, your partner may not be ready for your moves. Wait for your partner to pick up the pace along with you before you initiate anything new.
- Even if you want to kiss more deeply or to be more aggressive, hold yourself back and you'll be building the anticipation even further.

Part 2

Part 2 of 2:

Turning Up the Heat

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1
Tease your partner with the tip of your tongue. Run your tongue along the bottom lip or the inside of your partner's upper lip. This is sensuous but can tickle. Explore the bottom lip by gently and slowly kissing this lip only with the both of yours then changing to the top lip. You can even tease a little bit here. When your partner is expecting the next kiss, pause, then go in with a sensual kiss that was worth the wait.
- If this is your first time French kissing your partner or using your tongue in any capacity during the kissing session, then take it extra slow. You don't want to surprise your partner by using your tongue too soon.
Get in sync and find the same rhythm as your partner. Use your tongue when your partner does and go back to kissing without the tongue when he or she does the same. Follow the rhythm and soon you will both be in a sensuous flow. You and your partner should be using your tongues about the same amount -- otherwise, your partner may still be a little scared. It's your job to take it to the next level.^{[4]XResearch source}
Tug ever so slightly on the bottom lip and pull it towards you before letting it go and going in for another full sensuous kiss. You don't have to have just one kissing style throughout the kissing session, and being sweet and gentle and then sexy and more aggressive will make your partner more excited about kissing you -- and everything that lies ahead.
Don't kiss in the same old way minute after minute. Most people seem to tilt their heads and kiss to their right. Go a little crazy and try the left side for something different. Try a more aggressive kissing style mixed up with a more slow, sweet style. This can be tricky at first, because the key to sexy kisses is to maintain a steady rhythm, and you don't want to break up the rhythm too much by switching gears. Still, don't worry about having a second or two of uncertainty if it means that you can drive your partner wild by changing up your kissing style!
While you're kissing your partner, nibble on his or her lip gently and see how he or she responds. To play it safe, do it on the light side and make your bites a bit more firm if your partner likes what you've got to offer. Chances are, your partner will be turned on and excited by your spontaneous risk-taking kissing skills.
6
Tease your partner. A little bit of teasing can go a long way in building sexual anticipation. One thing you can do is kiss your partner, and just when things are getting really heated, pull back, make intense eye contact, making your partner think about how much he or she wants you, and then lean in for another kiss again. If you do this once or twice during the kissing session, it'll drive your partner wild.
- Also, know that it's okay to take a break from kissing if you feel like it (instead of only doing it to tease your partner). Even the world's most expert kissers need a break now and then.
7
Don't be afraid to use your hands. Kissing doesn't have to be all about the lips. In fact, if you kiss with your hands at your sides or on your lap, you'll be missing out on the full-body experience and may look and feel like a limp fish. You don't have to get too handsy to make your partner even more excited. Just use your hands to touch your partner's back, arms, hair, or neck, and you'll be adding an extra layer of excitement to your kisses.
- Lightly running your hand along your partner's neck while you're kissing will drive him or her wild.
8
Leave your partner wanting more. The important thing about building sexual anticipation is that you can't give it up too fast or too soon. Whether you want your kisses to build anticipation for something you'll do immediately, or to generally make your partner even more excited, you can't move on to the next stage too soon if you want to build the anticipation.^{[5]XExpert SourceLeTisha Underwood
Certified Professional MatchmakerExpert Interview. 14 December 2021.} Don't go straight from kissing to the bedroom, or your partner won't have time to really get excited for the next stage. Kiss for at least a few minutes before you start taking it to the next level if you want your partner to be as excited as possible.
- Don't think that you have to stop caring about your kissing technique once you move to the bedroom. Your kisses will always matter, and you can always improve your kissing style to make your partner go even more wild -- at any stage of the relationship!

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What causes sexual tension?
Lisa Shield
Dating Coach
Lisa Shield is a love and relationship expert based in Los Angeles. She has a Master's degree in Spiritual Psychology and is a certified life and relationship coach with over 17 years of experience. Lisa has been featured in The Huffington Post, Buzzfeed, LA Times, and Cosmopolitan.
Lisa Shield
Dating Coach
Expert Answer
Anything that requires risk, really. If you want to create sexual tension, try asking a revealing question, touching the other person or leaning in, always just past the comfort zone!
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