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This article was co-authored by Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFP. Rebecca Tenzer is the owner and head clinician at Astute Counseling Services, a private counseling practice in Chicago, Illinois. With over 18 years of clinical and educational experience in the field of mental health, Rebecca specializes in the treatment of depression, anxiety, panic, trauma, grief, interpersonal relationships using a combination of Cognitive Behavioral therapy, Psychodynamic therapy, and other evidence-based practices. Rebecca holds a Bachelor of Arts (BA) in Sociology and Anthropology from DePauw University, a Master in Teaching (MAT) from Dominican University, and a Master of Social Work (MSW) from the University of Chicago. Rebecca has served as a member of the AmeriCorps and is also a Professor of Psychology at the collegiate level. Rebecca is trained as a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist (CBT), a Certified Clinical Trauma Professional (CCTP), a Certified Grief Counseling Specialist (CGCS), a Clinical Anxiety Treatment Professional (CCATP), and a Certified Compassion Fatigue Professional (CCFP). Rebecca is also a member of the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Society of America and The National Association of Social Workers.
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Ugh, another weekend alone. Wouldn't it be great to be known and loved by at least someone? Wouldn't it be great to be an 'It' Girl?
Steps
Be unique. People like girls that have their own thing. Remember in order to be an it-girl you have to be different and special. Little things, whether its brightening up your pink phone with Swarovski crystals, customizing your bag with felt tips or your kickers with playboy shoelaces, will make you that bit original.- Remember: Don't try too hard. Make it look like it comes naturally.
Find your talent. Show everyone that your interested in learning new things; people that never want to do anything are boring! It could be anything, like singing or writing your own songs to cheerleading or art, just as long as you show your true potential people will respect you because you're good at something. Just don't be big headed about it or show off. It's good to always do at least one of the arts and play at least one sport, even if you didn't have to actually try out for the team. Hiking in your local park can be good too.Advertisement
Make good grades and study hard. No one wants to be seen with a slacker. You want to be seen as someone exiting, but you have to show everyone that you're serious and care about your education. Try to get all As and Bs. Don't freak out if you get a C, just study more often. When it comes to learning, bunking off or smoking in the toilets is not a good idea. If you take life as a joke people won't take you seriously and will mess around with you.
Know what's going on at school. Maybe it's getting to know the teachers, or being in the paper staff. Whatever it takes, always know what's going on in school. Also, always be ready to lend a helping hand. It boosts your school reputation.
Be nice and be yourself! This is the most important. Being an it girl is not just about being popular and pretty, it's also about respecting yourself and others around you, and having good values in life. If you're fake or mean, everyone will hate you. Smile and laugh a lot (but not obnoxiously) Never make someone feel down or talk to them like you're better than them. Treat everyone as an equal; when something looks good on someone, tell them! Don't over-compliment them, as this might make you look like a bad friend.
Don't be too humorous. Okay, confession time. You love to crack jokes, don't you? Humor is a good boost of confidence, but too much will make it seem awkward - find an ending point.
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Talk to people. Just anyone. Even if it's "What homework do we have in algebra?" It's an excuse to talk to people. Make them laugh, but don't try to be funny. Talk about things you can relate to, be really friendly and always smile, be tight with people; just don't be too open with your secrets, personal things are called personal for a reason and you could really damage your reputation if you let people gossip behind your back. Just know who your real friends are.
Invite people to do stuff with you. Ask the cool girl you sit next to in science if she wants to go bowling this weekend and frequently throw sleepovers. If you invite people to do things, they will have to invite you to do things.
Don't be mean. Sure, this worked in Mean Girls, so why wouldn't it work in real life? This is because things like this only happen in movies, not real life. Think: would YOU like to be known as the girl that is rude to everybody? Neither would we.
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Spend some time grooming yourself. Brush your hair everyday. Always shower at least every two days (or every day if you are very active), brush your teeth for at least 2 minutes every morning and before bed.
Stay healthy. Being healthy isn't just something you need to do to get in with the popular crowd - it's something important altogether. It's having a good workout every day. Just remember to be active for 60 minutes every day!
Have good skin, hygiene, etc. Having good skin helps. If you have breakouts often, you can have masks, etc. Research what facials and other supplies you will need to use. Also, use concealer, or foundation. Have good hygiene. No one wants to be talking to someone and only smelling their horrible stench because they haven't showered in a week.
Wear make-up if it makes you feel more confident. If it doesn't, then don't wear make-up. It's as simple as that, so don't let anyone tell you what you should or shouldn't do.- Wear primer to make foundation easier to spread.
- Put foundation to hide dark spots, and concealer for imperfections, blemishes, etc.
- A little base (powder) is helpful to make you look natural.
- Also, having your nails done is good too. Always clean your nails. If you go to the salon, and can't think of a good color, get a french manicure. It looks good with every outfit, and stays long.
Stride with confidence. Walk down the halls with confidence. Remember to flip your hair, smile, and wave. It'll make everyone stop and stare in awe. Walk slowly enough that people can watch you, but not so slow as to make it look like you don't know where you're going. Act like the halls were made for you to walk in.- Be yourself! Self-confidence is the most important part of becoming the "it" girl of your school.
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Expert Q&A
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- QuestionWhy is respect so important in school?
Ashley Pritchard, MAAshley Pritchard is an Academic and School Counselor at Delaware Valley Regional High School in Frenchtown, New Jersey. Ashley has over 3 years of high school, college, and career counseling experience. She has an MA in School Counseling with a specialization in Mental Health from Caldwell University and is certified as an Independent Education Consultant through the University of California, Irvine.
School CounselorBecause everyone deserves respect and deserves a supportive, welcoming environment to learn! - QuestionHow can I welcome a new kid at school? What should I do with them?Ashley Pritchard, MAAshley Pritchard is an Academic and School Counselor at Delaware Valley Regional High School in Frenchtown, New Jersey. Ashley has over 3 years of high school, college, and career counseling experience. She has an MA in School Counseling with a specialization in Mental Health from Caldwell University and is certified as an Independent Education Consultant through the University of California, Irvine.
School CounselorSomething as simple as saying hi to them in the hallway and introducing yourself can go a long way! Also, offering them a place to sit during lunch is awesome! Especially since lunch can be an overwhelming experience for a new student.
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Tips
- Don't forget your old friends when you move up. Doing that will make enemies or it you may hurt them. causes to loose your relationship.. an Indian myth says: every small thing will be the most important at some point of time... keep in touch.Thanks
- You can flirt, but you don't need a partner to be "cool" in middle school.Thanks
- Don't lie about your grades or anything else.Thanks
Tips from our Readers 
The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of How.com.vn readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on How.com.vn, please submit it in the field below.
- Don't worry about seeming "perfect" — be confident in who you are, flaws and all. People will respect genuine self-confidence over a facade.
- Having real friends as a support system matters more than clout. Nurture a few close bonds alongside friendly classmate relationships.
- Getting involved with sketchy stuff to seem "cool" isn't worth it and won't make you happy. You define what it means to be "popular."
- Ask engaged questions in class and seem interested in schoolwork. Good grades never make anyone less cool and show you work hard.
- While having the "in" crowd's approval feels good, don't compromise your values or exclude others just to get it. Kindness wins.
- Stay positive day-to-day rather than gossiping or complaining. People like being around others with an upbeat attitude.
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Warnings
- Don't be too pushy. Then you will be disliked.Thanks
- Don't be mean. This only works in movies like Mean Girls, not real life.Thanks
- Never lie to sound cool. It will hurt you real badly.Thanks
- Keep personal things out there. You need to learn how to trust people with information.Thanks
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Expert Interview
Thanks for reading our article! If you’d like to learn more about surviving school, check out our in-depth interview with Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFP.
About This Article
Clinical Therapist & Adjunct Professor
This article was co-authored by Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFP. Rebecca Tenzer is the owner and head clinician at Astute Counseling Services, a private counseling practice in Chicago, Illinois. With over 18 years of clinical and educational experience in the field of mental health, Rebecca specializes in the treatment of depression, anxiety, panic, trauma, grief, interpersonal relationships using a combination of Cognitive Behavioral therapy, Psychodynamic therapy, and other evidence-based practices. Rebecca holds a Bachelor of Arts (BA) in Sociology and Anthropology from DePauw University, a Master in Teaching (MAT) from Dominican University, and a Master of Social Work (MSW) from the University of Chicago. Rebecca has served as a member of the AmeriCorps and is also a Professor of Psychology at the collegiate level. Rebecca is trained as a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist (CBT), a Certified Clinical Trauma Professional (CCTP), a Certified Grief Counseling Specialist (CGCS), a Clinical Anxiety Treatment Professional (CCATP), and a Certified Compassion Fatigue Professional (CCFP). Rebecca is also a member of the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Society of America and The National Association of Social Workers. This article has been viewed 94,059 times.
Co-authors: 47
Updated: January 17, 2024
Views: 94,059
Categories: School Popularity
Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 94,059 times.
Reader Success Stories
"This article helped me so much, I'm in 7th grade in Australia, so this was my first year of high school and there were so many new people. It showed me and now I'm one of the most popular girls in my grade. Thank you!"..." more
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