16 Proven Strategies for Approaching Women

Do you want the confidence to approach any woman? In this article, we’ll help you identify women who are interested in chatting with you and provide expert-backed tips on making the smoothest approach possible. We’ll also share the best ways to strike up a good conversation and how to ask her out on a date. Read on for our complete guide!

1

Look for open body language.

Download Article

Go over if she’s smiling, making eye contact, and playing with her hair. These are signs she might be interested in you. On the other hand, you might switch your attention to someone else if she’s got her arms folded across her chest or seems to be avoiding your eyes. In that case, she might not be in the mood to talk right now.^{[1]XTrustworthy SourceHelpGuideNonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.Go to source}
- People-watching can help you learn to read body language. Watch how people move and interact with each other to get a feel for how body language works.

2

Move into her line of sight.

Download Article

Move into her eye line, even if you’re just in her periphery. Give her time to notice you there before you go over to talk to her.

3

Relax your body so you look confident.

Download Article

Open body language also makes you appear attractive to other people. You’ll seem casual and confident, which are desirable qualities.^{[2]XTrustworthy SourcePubMed CentralJournal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of HealthGo to source} Take a deep breath and release all the tension from your body. Additionally, keep your arms at your side and smile so you seem welcoming.
- Wondering how to look approachable? In addition to smiling, pick out an outfit that fits into the place where you’re going. Colors like earth tones, blue, and yellow make people feel comfortable talking to you, so they’re great options. As you move about the room, angle your body toward people you’re interested in talking to and mirror their gestures.^{[3]XResearch source}

4

Approach her from the side.

Download Article

Coming up beside her feels more casual and friendly. She’ll probably feel more relaxed, which will make it easier for you to talk to her. Walk a little away from her and come back if necessary to get into a good position. Then, slowly walk over.
- Never approach a woman from behind because it’ll make her uncomfortable. She may even be startled.^{[4]XTrustworthy SourcePubMed CentralJournal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of HealthGo to source}

5

Introduce yourself.

Download Article

Smile, tell her your name, and ask how she’s doing. Say, “How’s your night going?” or “Having a good time?” Really listen to her response so she knows you’re interested. She’s probably going to ask how you are in response, so say something positive like:
- “I’m doing great.”
- “My night’s amazing.”
- “I’m having a terrific time, especially since I met you.”

6

Talk about what’s going on around you.

Download Article

Start a conversation by mentioning something from your environment. It’s so hard to know what to say in these situations, but you can use your surroundings for inspiration. Things like the menu, music that’s playing, or why you’re there make excellent topics. You could also comment on the weather or the people around you.^{[5]XTrustworthy SourceHelpGuideNonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.Go to source}
- “I love this song. What about you?”
- “Your drink looks tasty. What did you order?”
- “What would you recommend off the menu?”
- “Can you believe this rain we’ve been having?”
- “It feels like everyone else here knows each other. Maybe we should get acquainted.”

7

Tell her a joke.

Download Article

Make her laugh to break the ice. Laughter actually relieves stress, so it can put you both at ease.^{[6]XTrustworthy SourceHelpGuideNonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.Go to source} Learn a few jokes in advance so you can dazzle her with your sense of humor. You might try:
- “Jokes about steak are medium, rarely well done.”
- “What kind of tea is hard to swallow? Reality.”
- "Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay they’d be bagels, and bagels can’t fly."
- “Why do mushrooms always get invited to parties? Because they’re such fungi!”

8

Ask her a question and really listen.

Download Article

People enjoy talking about themselves. Plus, she’ll like that you’re interested in getting to know her.^{[7]XExpert SourceImad Jbara
Dating CoachExpert Interview. 22 September 2021.} Ask her an open-ended question to keep the conversation going. She’ll give long answers or ask you a question if she’s interested in talking. If she gives you short answers, she’s probably not in the mood to talk, so it’s best to move onto someone else.^{[8]XExpert SourcePatti Novak Williams
Professional Matchmaker & Dating CoachExpert Interview. 12 January 2021.}
- “What’s your favorite band?”
- “What do you do in your spare time?”
- “What was the last book you read?”
- “What was the last movie you watched?”
- “What’s your favorite item to order off the menu?”
- “How often do you come here?”

9

Compliment her.

Download Article

Give her an unexpected compliment so you’ll stand out. Women typically get a lot of attention for their looks, so compliment her on her style or mannerisms.^{[9]XResearch source} On the other hand, steer clear of comments about her body because they might make her uncomfortable.^{[10]XExpert SourceImad Jbara
Dating CoachExpert Interview. 22 September 2021.}
- “This color looks great on you.”
- “Those earrings are so unique.”
- “Your eyes caught my attention from across the room.”
- “Your laugh is so melodic.”
- “Your confidence is magnetic.”
- Reader Poll: We asked 235 How.com.vn readers who've initiated a conversation with someone they’re interested in, and 50% of them agreed that the best conversation starter is complimenting or commenting on a shared interest. [Take Poll]

10

Be direct if you’re feeling confident.

Download Article

Tell her you’re interested. It’s scary to put yourself out there, but it might be the best way to get a date. If you’re up to it, just be honest about how you feel. Hopefully, she’ll be intrigued and want to get to know you more.^{[11]XExpert SourcePatti Novak Williams
Professional Matchmaker & Dating CoachExpert Interview. 12 January 2021.}
- "You're probably used to this but I'm new to it, so here it goes: I don't know you, but I'd like to. I think you're beautiful...and who doesn't want more of that in their life?"
- “I saw you from across the room and knew I had to meet you. Would you be interested in getting to know each other?”
- “I just wanted to tell you that you’re lovely tonight. Can I buy you a drink?”

11

Make sure she looks comfortable.

Download Article

Eye contact, smiling, and leaning toward you are signs she likes you. Keep talking to her as long as she seems okay with it.^{[12]XResearch source} If you notice her eyes darting away or she folds her arms across her chest, it might be time to end the conversation and move on. In that case, thank her for her time and move on to someone new.
- “Thanks for your advice. I’ll let you get back to your drink.”
- “I appreciate your time. Have a good night.”

12

Exchange phone numbers.

Download Article

Ask for her number or offer her yours. Giving her your number puts the ball in her court so she can decide if she wants to talk to you again. She’ll text or call if she’s into you. If you don’t hear from her, she might not be interested, she’s not dating right now, or she’s already taken. In that case, focus on someone else who caught your eye.
- “Can I get your number?”
- “Do you wanna exchange digits?”
- “Here’s my number.”
- “Text me sometime.”

13

Ask her out for coffee or drinks.

Download Article

Tell her you’re interested in getting to know her. Then, invite her out on a specific day to a place you’ve chosen in advance.^{[13]XResearch source} Keep it simple by going on a traditional first date to a place like a coffeehouse.
- “You seem really cool. Do you want to meet for coffee this Saturday?”
- “I’d really like to get to know you more. Wanna get drinks on Friday night?”
- “I’d like to continue this conversation over lunch one day this week. Want to meet at Cozy Coffee House?”

14

Take rejection in stride.

Download Article

While it hurts, rejection isn’t personal. There are tons of reasons why a woman might turn you down that have nothing to do with you. She might be in a relationship, or perhaps she’s just not dating right now. It’s also possible she had a bad day and just isn’t in the mood to meet anyone. If she’s not interested, kindly make your exit and focus on someone else.^{[14]XResearch source}
- “I totally understand. Have a great night.”
- “Enjoy your evening.”
- “I appreciate your reply. Have a nice day.”

How Do I Approach a Girl I’m Interested In?

Expert Q&A

Search

Add New Question

Ask a Question

200 characters left

Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered.

Submit

Video

Tips

Just be yourself!^{[15]XExpert SourcePatti Novak Williams
Professional Matchmaker & Dating CoachExpert Interview. 12 January 2021.} Women are more impressed with someone who’s authentic and true to who they are.
Thanks
Helpful1 Not Helpful0
Look your best so you project inner confidence. She’s more likely to be into you if you convey that you know your worth.^{[16]XExpert SourcePatti Novak Williams
Professional Matchmaker & Dating CoachExpert Interview. 12 January 2021.} Wear clothes that make you feel attractive and maintain proper hygiene.
Thanks
Helpful0 Not Helpful0
Interact with a stranger to warm up. Say “Hi,” give a high five, ask a question, or compliment them.^{[17]XTrustworthy SourceHelpGuideNonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.Go to source}
Thanks
Helpful1 Not Helpful1