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This article was co-authored by Marissa Floro, PhD. Dr. Marissa Floro, Ph.D. is a Psychologist and Instructor at Stanford University’s Weiland Health Initiative and adjunct faculty at the University of San Francisco. Dr. Floro received her Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology from Loyola University Chicago, focusing on the intersections of race, attraction, and gender. Dr. Floro’s continued clinical, teaching, and advocacy work focuses on sexual and gender diversity, racial identity and belonging, and liberation from oppressive systems and structures.
There are 9 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 69,744 times.
Everyone wants to feel more attractive. You can start feeling more attractive by working on your thoughts or changing up your looks. Changing the way you think about yourself can help you feel attractive and confident. Spending time on your hair, spiffing up your wardrobe, and making healthy choices will all make you feel like your best, most attractive self.
Steps
Eliminate negative self-talk. Do you find yourself being overly critical of every move you make? Replace critical thoughts with ones that reinforce a positive self-image. When you find yourself in the middle of a negative thought, stop the thought in its tracks. Don't think, for example, that your legs are fat and unattractive. Say to yourself instead, “I appreciate my strong, muscular legs.”[1]- Try placing a quarter in a jar every time you think something negative about yourself and use the money to buy yourself something positive, like a pedicure, new book, or haircut.
- Write down negative self-talk in a journal. Besides each negative thought write at least one positive thing about yourself.
Avoid comparing yourself to others. Comparisons always leave you feeling down because you focus on the best things about someone else and the worst things about yourself, making you come out at the bottom every time. You'll end up setting unrealistic standards for yourself. However, these comparisons are not reality, so don't let them seep into your mind. Instead, focus on what makes you unique and amazing.[2]- Don't compare yourself to your friends, social media posts, or photos you see in the media. Rather than focus on others' highlight reels, celebrate your own instead.
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Stay away from overly critical people. If you want to feel more attractive, then you shouldn't spend too much time with people who criticize others or themselves. For example, if your work colleague is constantly putting herself down or criticizing your appearance, try to find someone else to have lunch with. Eliminating sources of negativity can help boost your self-esteem.[3]
Spend time with people that make you feel good about yourself. It is important to spend time with people who make you feel smart, attractive, and appreciated. Schedule time to hang out with friends, family members, or colleagues who make you feel good about yourself. If you feel happier and more attractive during or after hanging out with someone, try to make it a regular occurrence![4]
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Try a new hairstyle. Taking an afternoon to visit the salon can help you feel confident and attractive. Take a risk and try a new cut, color, or styling technique. While at the salon, ask your stylist for tips on how to recreate the style at home. You will walk away feeling brighter and better than when you walked in.[5]
Wear clothes that make you feel attractive. Instead of worrying about what others think you should be wearing, focus on outfits that make you feel good about yourself.[6] Try to strike a balance between comfort and style. Go for clothes that make you think, “I look good in this!” Donate or sell clothing that doesn't make you feel attractive.[7]
Focus on your best features. Everyone has good features, and focusing on yours can help build confidence and make you feel more attractive. If you have pretty eyes, for example, play them up with some tasteful eye makeup. When you're feeling unattractive, remind yourself of how muscular your calves are or how sparkling your skin looks.[8]
Dress to reflect your personality. Sporting an outfit that reflects your personality will help you feel more attractive than wearing something that makes you feel uncomfortable. Let your wardrobe speak to your style, desires, and even your hobbies. If you are artistic, for example, don't shy away from pairing the bold scarf you purchased on your last trip to Paris with a more refined work-appropriate dress or suit.[9]
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Work on your posture. Having good posture can help you feel more attractive and boost your confidence levels. Be aware of your posture and correct it when necessary. For example, make sure you stand up straight. When you walk, keep your head up and your shoulders back.[10]- Imagine a string is holding up your body and align your spine along the imaginary string.
- Make sure you sit up straight, whether you are watching television, surfing the web, or working.
Exercise regularly. Regular exercise can help you feel more attractive, improve your mood, increase your energy levels, and boost your self-esteem. Try exercising at least 3-4 times each week. If you don't currently exercise, start small. Try to get a 30-minute walk in twice a week, and then build up to a more regular exercise schedule.[11]
Eat a balanced diet. Loading up on healthy foods can help boost your self-esteem, promote weight loss, and improve your overall health. Make fruits and vegetables the stars of the show, and round out your meals with lean sources of protein like fish and poultry and whole grains.[12]- Load up on nutrient-dense foods like leafy greens, salmon, and antioxidant-rich fruits like blueberries and cherries.
- Avoid consuming too much sugar or too many processed foods.
Schedule time for yourself. It's easy to get caught up in everyone else's schedules and take little time to do the things that make you feel attractive. Make me-time a priority and use some of this time to invest energy in your appearance and mental health. For example, try getting a massage, taking a long bath, or going out on a hike. No matter how you choose to spend your me time, make sure you're doing something that is important to you.[13]
Make yourself smile or laugh. Smiling and laughing, even when it's forced, has been proven to improve your mood. Leave yourself friendly notes reminding you to take a smile or laugh break. Over time, you'll start to feel better about yourself.[14]- A great way to do this is to leave a positive note on your bathroom mirror. Write, "Smile because you're beautiful" on a post-it note and place it on the mirror. Then every time you see it, you'll smile and feel more attractive.
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Community Q&A
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- QuestionIs it a good idea to regularly look at pictures of ugly people to make me feel better?
Alex GriderCommunity AnswerWhile putting other people down may temporarily make you feel better about yourself, a self image based on devaluing others is not healthy in the long run. Instead of using other's faults to boost yourself up, try to think of what makes you attractive and remember that kindness is one of the best traits you can have. - QuestionWhat if an overly judgmental person lives with you or is in close contact with you?
LemonstersCommunity AnswerIt can be hard, but it's a good idea to not take it personally. They might be trying to look out for you, or they might've been raised in a culture where something which is normal nowadays was frowned upon. Only you know your inner beauty the most, and it's not up to other people to bring you down. Physical looks have nothing to do with who you really are on the inside. Feeling more attractive is a matter of having a better perception of yourself. - QuestionWhat if you are an overall self-conscious person with almost unstoppable negative thoughts?
Community AnswerTry to focus on things that make you look "good." If you have trouble finding things like that, ask your friends and family for suggestions.
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References
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200605/how-feel-more-attractive
- ↑ Marissa Floro, PhD. Counseling Psychologist. Expert Interview. 1 April 2021.
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200605/how-feel-more-attractive
- ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/leon-logothetis/kkeeping-good-company-why-you-should-surround-yourself-with-good-people_b_6816468.html
- ↑ https://www.gsb.stanford.edu/insights/researchers-few-bad-hair-days-can-change-your-life
- ↑ Chloée Ohayon-Crosby. Fashion Stylist. Expert Interview. 24 July 2020.
- ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/gaye-groover-christmus/you-look-great-5-ways-to-look-and-feel-attractive_b_9061564.html
- ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/gaye-groover-christmus/you-look-great-5-ways-to-look-and-feel-attractive_b_9061564.html
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200605/how-feel-more-attractive
- ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/gaye-groover-christmus/you-look-great-5-ways-to-look-and-feel-attractive_b_9061564.html
- ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1470658/
- ↑ https://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/educational/lose_wt/eat/calories.htm
- ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/gaye-groover-christmus/you-look-great-5-ways-to-look-and-feel-attractive_b_9061564.html
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/cutting-edge-leadership/201206/there-s-magic-in-your-smile
About This Article
Counseling Psychologist
This article was co-authored by Marissa Floro, PhD. Dr. Marissa Floro, Ph.D. is a Psychologist and Instructor at Stanford University’s Weiland Health Initiative and adjunct faculty at the University of San Francisco. Dr. Floro received her Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology from Loyola University Chicago, focusing on the intersections of race, attraction, and gender. Dr. Floro’s continued clinical, teaching, and advocacy work focuses on sexual and gender diversity, racial identity and belonging, and liberation from oppressive systems and structures. This article has been viewed 69,744 times.
Co-authors: 26
Updated: February 2, 2024
Views: 69,744
Categories: Featured Articles | Attractive Appearance
Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 69,744 times.
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