How to Write Convincing Sibling Characters

Sibling relationships can often be complicated, so it's no wonder writing convincing sibling characters can be challenging. However, there are ways to make these characters and their sibling dynamics convincing and realistic.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Building Their Past

1
Think about how they were raised. Upbringing plays a large role in impacting a person's character, and it also helps shape relationships with siblings.
2
Consider their favorite memories. Good memories are important to a person, and people often seek to create new memories similar to the old good ones.
3
Think about their worst memories. Bad memories can shape a person, and people often avoid things related to those memories.
- For example, if their house was destroyed in a fire once, then the person may avoid fire. Or, if their terrible father often shouted at their mother, then they may be afraid of people raising their voices.
4
Choose points of conflict in the past. No siblings always get along perfectly, no matter how well they were raised. Arguments, fights, and resentments likely happen from time to time.
- What annoys them about each other?
- What tended to spark a fight?
- Did they ever go out of their way to upset each other?
- How did parents or caregivers react to fights between siblings?
- Was there parental favoritism, real or perceived? How did the non-favorite sibling(s) react?
5
Keep their ages in mind. Who was the oldest? Who was the baby? Birth order does have some impact on personality. It also is especially important for the earliest memories.
- Older siblings tend to be expected to help take care of the younger ones. They're also more skilled than their younger sibling(s) (thanks to their age), and often have more expectations placed on them.
- For example, if Emi is 27 and her brother Jorge is 23, then that means Emi would have been 4 years old when Jorge was born. What was that like for her? How did she deal with having a baby brother? How did Jorge feel about his big sister?
6
Think about the roles that they ended up in. Siblings do, to some extent, define themselves by how they are different from each other. They pursue different interests, take on different roles, and explore different identities. These roles can be a source of self-realization and sometimes frustration. Here are some examples of roles and how they can impact family life:
- Cassidy is interested in writing and Devon is interested in music. Devon often goes to marching band events and travels a lot, while Cassidy mostly stays at home.
- Anisha is the smart one, Rohan is the friendly one, and Eva is the athletic one. Anisha envies how easily Rohan makes friends, Rohan wishes he were as strong as Eva, and Eva wishes she could succeed in school the way Anisha does. None of them are aware of the others' feelings.
- John's favorite color is red, Jane's favorite color is blue, and Jacob's favorite color depends on his mood. Many of their items (like toothbrushes and hairbrushes) are color-coded, with red meaning it belongs to John, blue meaning it belongs to Jane, and a different color meaning it belongs to Jacob.
- Jewel is intellectually gifted, while Mason has a learning disability. Mason wishes he were as smart as Jewel and feels that she is the favorite because she's so smart. Jewel wishes she didn't feel so much pressure from her parents to achieve and secretly envies the extra attention Mason gets.
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Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Choosing Their Personalities

1
Choose personality traits for each sibling. Even if the sibling is only a minor character, it's important to know their basic personality.
2
Think about each character's dreams, hopes, and struggles. What do they want in life? What are their goals? Every character needs something to strive for.
3
Figure out their insecurities. Everyone feels insecure about different things: skills, personality traits, perceived physical flaws, et cetera.
- Maritza has a big nose and acne, which she hates. She tries to distract from them by doing her hair in elaborate styles. She avoids having her picture taken because she's embarrassed.
- Dustin has ADHD, and is worried that he talks too much. So he tends to stifle himself when he catches himself talking much. His boyfriend finds this confusing.
- Erin worries that her nerdiness will make it hard for her to find a boyfriend. She tends to keep quiet about her interests, afraid she'll scare off cute boys.
- Juan's sister told him his laugh sounds weird. So when he thinks something is funny, he tends to cover his mouth and smile, trying to stay silent.
4
Choose strengths and flaws. Everyone has positive and less-than-positive traits. Figure out the character's personality, and what they are (and aren't) skilled at. How do they build and use their strengths? How do they work on, or work around, their weaknesses?
5
Think about what motivates them. Interesting characters seek out something they want. What are your character's short-term and long-term goals? What do they value? What do they want out of life? Here are some examples of character motivations, and how they affect the story:
- Rosario wants to make a contribution to science that will put her in the history books. So she spends most of her free time studying and experimenting.
- Emilio wants to make his parents stop fighting. He takes on a peacemaking role in the family and tries to solve problems, even if they're too big for him to solve.
- Keisha wants to win a robotics competition, and to catch the eye of the cute girl on the team. So she shows off and pushes herself to do better, and tries to flirt.
- Isaac wants to get married and start a family with his girlfriend. So he tries to get alone time with her, and ask her about the future.
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Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Creating Their Relationship

1
Think about how respectful they are of each other. This will depend somewhat on how they were raised, but also factors like what they learned from their friends, and what their personality is.
2
Look at how much conflict there is in the relationship, and where it comes from. Does one sibling initiate it, or do they tend to pester each other? What are the points of contention? Here are some examples:
- Eun Ae thinks that her little brother is a bit too clingy. Min Joon thinks that his sister is rude and controlling sometimes. So at home, you may hear shouts of "Min Joon is bothering me while I'm trying to study!" or "Eun Ae locked me out of her room!"
- Faduma adores her twin sister Nala, while Nala is introverted and wishes she had more alone time. Faduma often tries to copy and dress identically to Nala, which irritates Nala, and the situation often winds up with Faduma feeling rejected and Nala feeling exasperated.
- Eric and Ash are very different from each other. Ash is perceptive and has noticed a strain in their parents' marriage, so he tries to make Eric stop rebelling and behave in the hopes that this will help their parents. Eric resents Ash's meddling. This sometimes results in shouting matches.
3
See how they show each other affection and love. Most siblings love and care about each other, whether they're willing to admit it or not.
- Praising each other
- Helping each other with different tasks (from homework to preparing lunch)
- Hugging, holding hands, giving back rubs, etc.
- Giving little gifts
- Spending quality time.
4
Examine how they speak to each other. Is their language casual? Rude? Respectful? Distant? Affectionate? What does that say about their relationship?
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Tips

Think about real-life siblings you know. If you have siblings, you can use those relationships as inspiration. You can also look to friends with siblings, relatives, and well-written sibling characters in the media.
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